most of my life I have always tried to make friends. my preschool years were sadly taken away from me because of bullying. I was made fun of for being molested, and it continued throughout my life with people pointing their finger saying that a weirdo. I’m feeling pretty hopeless in the world and from the support of people right now. I have always been called a drama queen , over exaggerator and a narcissist for standing up to abuse. Currently I just got out of a 7 to 8 year long friendship from two people the whole time that I was friends with them it was all fake. They used me for their own personal gain, and I’ve lost a lot of hope finding respectful friends. I’ve countlessly been ridiculed by people who don’t know and have never been around me long enough to know that I stand up against abuse. I get accused of being racist among many other things even though I’ve been one of the only people I know that has stood up for equal rights and to treat others fairly. at this point I do feel delusional. I feel delusional, thinking that there could be people who are passionate about being kind towards others. Any support or advice is greatly needed and I am a huge believer of hate having no home in my heart. I am extremely hurt because my friend also bullied me for years that we were friends. People are continuing to shame me because I care and I just need hope.
Grieving friendship: most of my life I have... - Heal My PTSD
Grieving friendship
Mentalhealthmatter
Being bullied can change the course of someone's life. Some of us were bullied at home and some, like yourself, had to deal with it in school. I'm so sorry you were treated this way.
It is documented in many articles that we tend to migrate towards what we know. So finding friends along the way that treat you with disrespect, are hurtful and shame you is something you " know how to live with"
We are so vulnerable, lost and lonely that we accept whatever we get out of a relationship.
I love that you know you have a good heart and wouldn't do this to someone else. Seeing our good qualities isn't easy when we have been beaten down. Please don't let someone shame you for something as beautiful as your heart.
The world could use more people like you. ❤️
There are good people out there, just keep looking. Remember that you are worthy of the kindness you give to others.
❤️🐬
Hi, I very much relate to what you believe in and stand up for, in terms of equality and justice for all. I want to mention a couple of things that I hope you will not be hurt by, as my intention is far from that. My intention is to help you have a little more clarity from my observations. You said you stand up to abuse. But then you contradicted that by saying your friendships with these recent people had 'always been fake', that they 'used you', etc. So, I'm ask you to consider how to reconcile those things, ask: do I really stand up to abuse? When it comes to myself? Why would I remain in a fake friendship for so long?
This is important because there are actually legitimate reasons inside you. For me, I cut off one relationship because I realized I wasn't really being true to myself, that because I lacked any kind of meaning relationships or support in my life, I allowed this one to be "better than nothing", knowing all along how little this person has to offer.
It was only when I found myself giving her the support she often found in me, which had become nothing more than indulging what she pretended to be. Why did I do that? Because it was clear that she was not willing to be honest with herself, and I guess I thought I could overlook that and at least get something out of our relationship.
So, I'm not being judgemental, I'm trying to help you look more closely at how these people remained in your life as long as they did. Because that was a choice.
Since what you stand for is so important in this world, I need you to rethink what does require of you. It requires the ability to accept that many will not support you in this, and some will even blame you, and accuse you of being the problem. So, you have to give yourself the reminders of why you do stand up for things and why that is important, and why it is worth the price you pay when you have no support except your own.
Trust me on this. I have paid the price for most of my life. But thats what separated people who say they care, from those who prove they do, even when no one else recognizes it.
I wanted to let you know I have these same issues. There are good people out there, but you have to move slowly to get to know them. After losing over a dozen jobs because of my abuses and personality from it all, I have found a job where people literally think we need to have a disability to work here, and we are all “from the island of misfit toys”.
I was bullied in school and also grew up in an emotionally and physically abusive household so I developed social anxiety and c-ptsd. What helped in my healing was finding a therapist that specialized in treating trauam/c-ptsd. He used emdr as part of the therapy and it was very helpful for my healing the shame, anger and rage I had and also desensitizing from the memories and triggers. I also started making friends with myself and treating myself with respect and kindness that I never recieved.
yes… it was a choice to stay in abuse… but I also was not aware that my friend was abusing me as much as she was… I thought I deserved it… I mainly need to work on my core beliefs about myself and also the why behind it
Yes, I hear you on not realizing many things till later. I hope it can be a positive reminder to yourself of how valuable you are. We all need to remind ourselves of that, especially when we feel bad or wonder why we can't find decent people who respect us. And, I hope you didn't take what I said about choice in a critical way, because trust me, I get it, I'm rereally struggling with the emptiness and aloneness of having no one to call, hang out with, or just talk to. I'm a loner by nature, but too much is not natural, and it wreaks havoc on my depression big time. I got nothing but sadness, loneliness and negativity in my head, so I keep trying to reach out, but it's ... its just really wearing on me that I can't find a tiny bit of unprovoked kindness or interest. I feel like people treat me like a burden when they have to talk to me. It hurts. And I want to add that my use heart goes out to you because of the added burden of your past you carry, being bullied and especially being sexually violated. That experience effected you in a way that was certainly not a choice, and it can really make life a struggle to believe you are worthy of the respect you absolutely deserve from everyone. I had to add this after realizing my last comment was not enough, and really a bit insensitive without taking this last part into consideration as much as I should have. Know that I sincerely want the best for you, and that it will take all your energy practicing to give yourself all the positive support and appreciation for how special and valuable you really are. Bullying and abuse robs people of their dignity. Your burden is having to restore that for yourself. Just always remember you are worth it. This is your life, no one else's and you have every reason to create it, live it and be it in a way that on the day you die, you can feel that it was worth living, because you made the choices to make sure of that.
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Reflection on Impatience 
MDMA therapy
