Counselor Today - Countering

I had a bad day today with counselor. She countered all I told her. Who needs that? I need validation. I know that my parents had a different viewpoint - THAT was the problem!

I will explain that I need validation about things that happened to me, that they were wrong and that I was right to feel so bad about these things. I left feeling that my childhood emotional neglect and emotional abuse was very minimized. I felt much wiser than the counselor. I don't feel good about this, I don't feel good about the counselor. She is still a student at counseling school. I am a student of life and I think she made an egregious error.

Do I need EMDR instead? She doesn't do it. Maybe she can find me someone who does it.

Something is off, something is missing. I'll figure it out, hopefully.

Years ago, I did Primal Therapy. Maybe that would help me now. Primal scream!

9 Replies

  • I have realized that counselors doesn't always live up to our expectations, I have a counselor that sometimes says the wrong words, instead of being hopeful she says negative things and doesn't always understand me at all.

    Although there are times she is okay...but there will probably never be a counselor who understands 100%

  • I know. What you say is so true. Thank you!

  • I agree with you. I've already had to leave one counselor who did EMDR but I saw that she was just not right for me.

    I am worn out from just thinking about starting with a new counselor. I don't know what I'll do. I have a very sore neck and shoulder. My left foot has a collapsed arch and I need a new custom shoe brace. I also need to see a rheumatologist ASAP because my fingertips are totally numb and my toes are a bit numb also. It seems that my CPTSD is attacking my body!

    Right when I had the realization about my childhood and when the CPTSD began, so did the physical problems. I will start making phone calls and doctor appts. tomorrow.

    Well, I just looked at the clock and it is already tomorrow. I guess I will go to bed now and hope for some sleep.

  • If you have a gut feeling then follow that. I have had to leave few. If you do EMDR find a very experienced person who was properly certified in the modality.

  • Thanks.

  • Counselor are just people and they have bad days too. The bottom line if you are not getting your needs met then no matter how good or understanding they are, you are not getting the help you need. I have had many therapists and all of them were good people. Some were better than others. Some helped me and others did nothing.

    I had to ask myself if they are telling me something I just do not like to hear so I am making it about them and not realizing it is really about me or if I just am not getting my needs met. I seldom diagnose myself very well so this is a difficult thing to figure out. I am fairly certain that I do not want someone to always agree with me and never say anything that I do not like. That is just my way of thinking. I want them to feel they can tell me something that they see even though I may not like it. The therapists that have the courage to do this has helped me the most. My first reaction is always getting mad every time. Only afterwards do I see what the therapist is trying to help me see.

    Good luck to you. This is only my experience. Taking care of yourself is the number one priority in my view.

  • Thank you. She is probably not the right counselor for me. She doesn't really know my history or what is important and I feel she wa really off base! I think I need someone who is highly experienced with Trauma. I found one but have not called her yet as I've had a couple of really bad days since I saw counselor.

  • Hi! I just read your response to another person's post where you mentioned you live in Santa Fe. I also have Cptsd from childhood abuse by my mother. But I had a very loving aunt and uncle who lived near Albuquerque and I spent my childhood summers with them. It was by far the best part of my childhood. I'm in my later 50's and dream of running away from everything and living in Taos. It is a nice fantasy.

    I hope you find a more mature and caring therapist to help you. I've tried therapy 4 or 5 different times over my life. Finally, I have a great therapist. I approached it differently this time. I asked everyone(doctors, friends, another therapist, my insurance company) for suggestions. Then, I got on the phone and called all the ones of interest and interviewed them! That made all the difference.

  • Yes, I will interview the one I found - if she takes my med insurance - told her I would like a brief evaluation meeting. She seems very experienced, does EMDR, has worked with the Pueblo Indians north of here. She sounds very young, though!

    You were lucky to have a great aunt and uncle in Albq to spend time with. Albq is very built up now and I only go there if I have to go to the airport! Taos is wonderful but it is also lots colder than Santa Fe. I would advise you to keep it as a fantasy. Coming to Santa Fe from CA was living my fantasy. It IS a fantasy! It is not really the "Enchanted Land." Santa Fe and Taos are really just for tourists. Santa Fe is being built up and gentrified even more. The true, old, artsy funkiness is fading. One street downtown thinks its Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. That is not "Santa Fe!" I don't like it much. I came here when I was 48 and I did not think of what it would be like when I got old. I am 74. I am now wondering what I am doing here! Well, I'm living and making efforts to heal.

    I also had an aunt, just an aunt, not the uncle, who I think was my savior! This aunt was wonderful! My mother gave me cptsd also. My aunt was a talented animal artist and I spent much time with her when I was little. I talked on phone with her all of my life, about boyfriends, etc. I was so lucky to have her attention , time and caring. She always had some kind of purebred dogs and she always took me to see horses, one of her main painting subjects. I have two of her horse paintings on my walls. I miss her very much. I could have talked to her one last time just before she died but one of my sisters did not know how important my connection was to my aunt so she did not tell me that my aunt could hear again and talk on the phone. It was hard to forgive my sister for that but she just did not have a clue that she should have told me... My mother did not care for my aunt because she always had lots of pets and also because my father helped her out financially. For that, she gave him her beautiful paintings to hang in his store so he could sell them and get his money back.

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