existential security

[Agara33]

i have not been able to have the good fortune of a home, a shelter...there is a housing crisis in Israel, like everywhere. Yesterday I went to see an apartment that I wanted but she showed it to me with 3 other people who all wanted it too. She said she is just going to pass all of our information to the landlord and he will decide and be in touch next week. I just felt kind of defeated, knowing she is continuing to the show the place and everyone would want it...and i am not that resourceful when it comes to fighting for things-i don't really know how to do it. Anyway, the same day she told me someone closed---so i really just was interested to know how that happened. If she said the landlord would contact next week, how did someone end up closing the same day, and she just said that she isn't responsible, all she does is show the apartment...i don't know how to survive in such a situation where everyone is fighting for a house...i know how to be quick, i think i am pretty good at deciding what I want, I look trustworthy and harmless, but i don't know how to be that resourceful and pushy on my toes...so i genuinely question how i will manage. i want so much to have a simple home, that that one thing will not be what i am fighting for all the time. i have become much less adaptable and resourceful and good with people...i have had terrible experiences.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Agara,

I think having a home is essential for sense of safety and security. It is very important subject for me.

How can we rebuild our strength and recover without basic foundation ininline...? For me, healing comes from a sense of safety, otherwise I cannot process trauma.

I amvery sorry you are going through the process of finding the new home during the housing crisis. It sounds very stressful and I understand what you mean.

Seems like the owner must have received aan offer from someone that was higher than any others were able to pay or perhaps a friend or family member rented it last minute.

Do you have a real estate agent that you could talk to about your concerns so that she could help you in some way?

[Agara33 in reply to Nathalie99]

the real estate agents told me that there aren't many places available until february, that they can't really help until then...

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Agara33]

Oh no...

Do you have an extension on your current place?

[Agara33 in reply to Nathalie99]

i have a contract until May, i don't have to leave in a rush, i just am very worried about if there are available things, if anything is worth while how many people will be fighting over it...looking for an apartment is soul destroying...i can wait a few months and then really go through a real estate agent...which would be a fantasy...i just don't know how to make this work...and i despise it when people act like its not the problem that i have experienced...

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Agara33]

I am relieved that you have some more time. Good on you for looking and planning ahead. I think this is the best thing in this crazy market.

Maybe, they don't have compassion for people's circumstances because they focus on their business side of things and forget they are dealing with actual people and their lives.

One option that comes to mind is saying what you need upfront so they could look for it and reserve it for you, maybe, if that is possible at all.

Once I was moving from one country to another and a real estate agency in the new country said that the 2 listings I came to see were already unavailable (this happened over Easter weekend and the agency was closed, I was there before their opening time first thing).

I said to them that I came there from another country and have 2 days to move. I said "I came here to see 2 apartments and I am not leaving until I see 2 apartments".

They asked me to wait, offered tea and biscuits and some hours later found 2 apartments that they swore were not possible to find anywhere.

I just refused to leave unless they fulfilled their contract.

I know this is very stressful to go through when you are in a very vulnerable place.

[Mamamichl]

It’s possible that person that closed was already going through the process and they continued to show to more people in case it fell through. The housing issue is pretty bad in the United States too. We spent 10k on inspections this summer on 2 houses and down payments that we will never see again and we were pushed back with our closing date multiple times. We were denied because I was going to move from one job to another after closing, since I was working more than an hour drive away. They were comparable jobs but the new one made $100 less a month.

[1Mechanic]

Hi Agara,

This really does suck. To lead you on like that and then do that to you. I know I would be very upset too! However, I think February would still work out for you, but they have to be more honest with you.

Sometimes I feel like real estate agents play a game when it comes to buying and selling. They try to make as much money as they can during their game. Maybe you can try to play this game back at them.

By that I mean, Maybe tell them that you can move right now, but if they’re unable to get a place for you until February that you would be happy to close on that place right now? That you would like to explore February options right now?

how should I say this…………I’m asking those questions, because real estate agents get paid when they find a buyer. If they are being told that they have “X” amount of apartments ready in February then they are already looking for buyers for that month. So maybe you can help them out too. Play that game

It would look really good for the real estate agents to find a buyer before the apartment moved out. That way the landlord doesn’t have a gap in there. The gap where they don’t get paid. I mean, I work in building maintenance for apartments. I can fix it all. And, at one time, I was the person doing apartment turns. I had to get apartments ready as quickly as a 4pm move out on Wednesday and a 12pm move in on Friday. I had less than 48 hours to make a lived in apartment look brand new. I got it done. I got it done multiple times like that. And just because the landlords hate that gap in there. They lose money with that gap.

I guess what I am getting at is can you tell the real estate agents that you would like to get that head start on February? March at the absolute latest. That you’re willing to help them out? That you can sign and move in almost right after the move out? That it’s a win win for the both of you? Maybe ask to see the apartment beforehand? If not that very apartment then another vacant one inside that building? Doing those things would help you and them. I would be shocked if they wouldn’t work with you on that.

Please hang in there. You’re on the right track. You are doing this months in advance. They shouldn’t have treated you like that! That was wrong! But, with months to go I’m sure you will find your spot.