When I was younger (and not ill) I used to go out every weekend. I would put on high heels that I couldn't walk in and then proceed to dance in them all night. I would do dance moves that used muscles that hadn't seen the light of day before. I would drink perhaps a little too much and eat a kebab on the way home (which I may or may not throw up later). The next day I would wake up with a little man in my head who would let rockets off inside my brain every time I moved my head. He would have a partner in crime who would get a shovel and poke it into my eye every time I tried to focus on anything. I would then stumble to the bathroom with such sore feet I could hardly walk. I would ache all over and be sooooo tired from alcohol induced sleep. I'd crave (and eat) carbohydrates and, by about 1 or 2pm in the afternoon I would start to come round and feel better and remember what am amazing night out I had had.
Yesterday I woke up feeling EXACTLY like that. The only (very big and quite sad) difference was that I hadn't been out the night before. I had dared to work an extra day which involved a train journey to London on Friday, traipsing around London, going to my hotel and doing some more work, a very poor nights sleep in a noisy hotel and then working from 8am on Saturday before getting the train home at 2.30pm. By the time I got off the train at the other end I could hardly walk. I ached on the train (as I posted here) but by the time of getting off the train it had turned to pain.
I got up at 11.30am yesterday ( as the hubby was going to the football otherwise don't think I would have got up at all) but could only manage lying on the settee. My girls were brilliant. The eldest cleaned her room (of a fashion), read books and played on her ipad. While the little one found a game we could play lying down (I had to choose which Moshi Monsters I wanted) before she snuggled under the blanket with me on the sofa and watched CBeebies (Okay so it's not great parenting but it was all I had to offer!). When hubby came home and stumbled back to bed where I remained.
Today the two men in my head letting off rockets and hitting me in the eye with a shovel have been replaced by worms wriggling around which is very very annoying! The fatigue is still there - am going to have a nap in 5 minutes - and I feel like I am in a dream. I went to get petrol and had to check I had my purse three or four times over because every time I checked I immediately forgot - that was quite scary. I don't feel I should drive but have to get the girls from school and I don't hold out much hope for cooking the tea either. I am going to be checking and double checking EVERYTHING.
It's days like these when I really really hate this illness, it robs me of time with my children and in a way, my sanity.
How ironic that I used to go out and deliberately make myself feel this way!! Oh, if I only knew then what I know now....
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melodypond
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7 Replies
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Hi Melodypond
I'm really sorry you are feeling so rotten, I would imagine you are having a flare up after all that extra walking, working etc you did, coupled with good old fibro fog. It is such a shame that you are having "the day after the night before feeling" without actually having the night before.
I often feel the same, short term memory is shot to pieces. OH can ask me a question and by the time I have looked up to answer him I have forgotten the question.
It sounds like you have a good family to support you, which is always important. A duvet day isn't such a bad thing and it sounds like your daughters were great.
Please take it easy and I hope you feel better soon.
Piggy hugs xxxxxxx
Hello there Melodypond, I am so sorry to hear how poorly you are feeling. It sounds to me personally as though you have overdone it and are now paying for it with increased symptoms. The likelihood is that you're having a Fibro flare-up, which is common after overdoing it, many of us have experienced this.
Here is some info for you on Flares, I hope you find this helpful -
Thanks for the piggy hugs and to you Libs for the advice, it is appreciated. I have rested lots and feel a little better today. I suppose I do need to think of these worse times as flares. Being new to all this I always just thought of them as very bad days as opposed to just a bad day. I suppose I thought a flare must be that you have days/weeks feeling well then you get ill again. I hardly ever have a good day and always feel ill so never thought of these as flares but reading up I realise that most people are the same as me. So I will now treat my flares accordingly - the advice you give is really useful. Thanks you again.
Hi there Melody, so pleased you feel a bit better today, that's good to hear my dear.
Flares can be unpredictable, some for a short while, some for a bit longer. All we can do is our best when they occur until they pass. It will pass, just take it easy with yourself, do what I advised if you possibly can. This will help you during this phase.
We all go through this from time to time but it will pass. In the mean time we are all here for you and my goodness me we understand.
Wow, you described my life before fibro to a T! And I did that every weekend for about 15 years as well. Now, however, I describe the hangover feeling to my hubby and I haven't been out either. That's the bit I really hate about fibro. And I agree it robs you from your kids. My son is only 6 and he suffers to a degree when I can't do things with him although I bust a gut trying! At least I am smiling now remembering the fab times on those nights out!! Have a good day x
Yes, it's a bummer isn't it. The hangover without the fun! My little one if four and a half and actually understands when I am ill much more than my eldest. She is very intuitive and we seem quite tuned in to each other. I haven't explained my illness to them yet as only just diagnosed but I will do very soon. And I always try not to feel guilty. As I put in my post the other day I sometimes have to do quality rather than quantity when it comes to my kids - a bit like my alcohol consumption these days, a glass of champagne rather than a whole bottle of wine. And glad you are smiling remembering the fun times. x
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