I think I'm going to stop speaking to "Normal " people

I have to walk my little Jack Russell before I leave for work otherwise he barks and the neighbours complain. The walk gets shorter and shorter every day as I struggle to do it.

I nearly always see this woman who I used to stand and talk to at the bus stop as she waited for her bus (when I could walk that far).

This morning I had walked about 20 steps, everyone of them sheer agony as I hurt from top to bottom, when along comes this woman and says "alright Lynne". Yeah, says me as I try not to compain. "I know" she say's "I know". I said I don't think you do. Oh I do she says I ache today, and she went charging off up the road. I was left speechless thinking Ache ?

I wish I just ached, every inch of me is in pain today and I was going off to my full time job and she was going to her little cleaning job and then going home for the rest of the day.

To think I'm paying towards helping her to be able to work part time with my taxes makes me sick.

I don't think I can be civil to her any more and will have to take the dog out a bit later.

Rant over, thanks for listening.

6 Replies

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  • Hello Lynne, thank you for your message. I completely understand how you feel, I am sure we would all feel the same and do feel the same at times.

    Sometimes it is very hard to bear when people seem to whinge about a sore finger, we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel a bit miffed with the Fibro cards we've been dealt and everything is such an effort with the constant relentless pain and exhaustion.

    Don't blame yourself, it's perfectly understandable. I always try to turn a negative into a positive emotion as negatives are stressful, try feeling sorry for this person instead of angry, she's actually more to be pitied that she isn't enjoying her life with just an ache, also she could be hiding emotional pain that she doesn't speak out, so benefit of the doubt might be warranted. I am genuinely sorry if this sounds harsh, it's just my personal way of dealing with situations like this.

    Take care Lynne.

    Best wishes and hugs xx

    Libs

  • Hi I understand your frustration I had to start using a mobilty scooter last year and as I,m only in my 40s I got quite a few funny looks and tuts from strangers , all the neighbours friends and family were great about it. After a couple of months of tears of rage once getting home I decided its my life and I have to live it the best way for me , so I go out on my scooter and ignore the looks and comments, I think like Libby someone who moans about an ache then strides off isn't worth upsetting yourself over, Just be proud of the things you do every day in pain

    Hugs VG x

  • Hi Very-Grumpy,

    I too have a mobility scooter, which I got about 16 months ago so that I could still walk the dog. It lives just inside my front door and some days it is easier just to walk a few steps than to struggle to get it out. I used to get funny looks, especially when the dog got fed up with walking and sat on my lap. I used to get comments like that's not how you are supposed to walk a dog and I just used to say well that's how we like to do it. I do tend to use it more in warmer weather as I find because you are sitting still you get cold quickly.

    I have sort of a love / hate relationship with my scooter - I love it because of the freedom it gives me and hate it because I don't want to have to need it.

    Take care

    Love Lynne x

  • Lynne im sorry i am that other womam ! Not litrely her but the woman like that only i do have fibro. I have a lovely friend ive had for years she runs around does 2 jobs , takes care of her mom that had a Severe stroke 5 years ago when her Dad Died :(. Shes a mom an wife an good friend she also has a dredfull back problem she had a massive lump removed years ago an it damaged her spine .

    She must look at me moaning about all my aches an pains an feell a little angry not that she would ever show it . She looks worn out this week . I get to stay at home after loosing my last job du to this horrid thing .

    The thing is id swop with her in a heart beat because that was just how i was runing around doing 2 jobs taking care of everyone & if id of met somone like me who looked fine evan though u can tell if u know me im in pain an get tied, but from a strangers point of view i look fine siting having lunch with her . we all get aches an pains some times ? Well we do but she carn't see your pain or feel it so she doesn't realy know or understand & lets hope she never has to really . Before we had this we probebly came across people that had this an not understanding thought in the back of our minds well they dont look to bad to me , not being horable just being human .so dont stop talking to her u never know she aches today but she may n the next fibro victim ? Love an hugs kugagirl xx

  • We don't see or feel other peoples' pain, and they don't see ours, so I guess it's best not to judge others, nor to be too hard on ourselves.

    I went to a birthday party recently, and a lady about my age was dancing energetically with the youngsters. Everyone was remarking how wonderful she was, and I felt quite bitter as I hobbled along trying to get to the Ladies.

    Later that evening I discovered that she was on her second cycle of chemotherapy for an aggressive breast cancer, and I felt ashamed.

    So far she has remained relatively fit and active, and long may she be so - but I gather that her prognosis is not good.

    Would I trade one day of my life for her evening of dancing? No way!

    There's an old saying that you shouldn't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes, and that's very true - but remember that neither do they have a right to judge YOU!

    Ah well, girls ... hobble happily! Moffy xxx

  • Thanks for your replies.

    I don't usually get annoyed (haven't got the energy) with anyone and I'm very easy going.

    I have stood and hugged this woman at the busstop when she has been crying over her ex boyfriend, she is now in a very happy relationship and everything in her world is lovely, getting married abroad soon and won't need to work at all if she doesn't want to. I am the one who would help anyone if I could, but this morning was just the straw that broke the camels back.

    Once the pain and fatigue lessen I hope I will soon be back to being "me" again.

    Hugs to you all

    Lynne x

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