Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Count Your Blessings

Something happened yesterday to make me appriciate life even one like ours which is filled with physical pain, emotional high and lows and limitations. You could say I received a huge reality check.

Just found out my baby sisters husband is seriously ill. Aged just 37; he has lived with type 1 diabetes since he was a young child and recently due to feeling a little "blah and off colour" (his words) he went to visit his gp who took the usual blood test gave the usual advice then sent him on his merry way. A few hours later the gp rang him at home telling him to go to the local hospital immediately. Upon his arrival he was admitted to a ward and subjected to a battery of tests.

Within a few hours he was informed he had kidney disease; both kidneys are functioning at 10% of their capacity and he requires a kidney transplant asap. His case is so serious that he has bypassed the usual proceedure of dialysis first transplant second and has leapfroged to the top of the list for individuals requiring a donated kidney.

As you can imagine the extended family are stunned and already several members have come forward and offered themselves as a potential donor. Their selflessness and bravery has had my sisters hubby tony in tears he is amazed at the fact that many people are willing to undergo a complicated, painful and risky operation in order to effectively save his life. He told me yesterday that he his humbled and so overawed to feel the reality of real love.

I travelled 70 miles from bfast to derry yesterday to visit him in hospital and to see, hug and support my wee sis who is in total bits. They have two small children; boys aged 9 and 2 the younger of whom is currently being tested for aspergers (autistim) and who is a wee dote but also a bit of a challanging handfull at time. My sister is working partime running to the hospital twice a day and trying to manage her usual busy routine of the daily school & nursery run,her oldest sons after school activities and the many demands of her 2 yr old. She is exhausted but currently fueled by adreninal and fear she is managing to keep going - just!!

Yesterday whilst spending time with my brother-in-law, we witness the man oppisite to him receiving the news he had six months at most to live as he was riddled with cancer. The distress of his family was harrowing and as we felt like the family deserved some private time alone, we decided to go outside to the smoking area.

Unfortunetly as we tried to leave the ward nursing staff ushered us bk inside as a body from the ward nxt door was being removed to the hospital mortuary. Again we witnessed a family shocked and devastated by grief, following behind.

I guess yesterday being so closed to the reality of death and dieing made me realise that life even one with the limitations of fibro is precious and must be sieze. So today even though im sore from travelling and sitting for hours on a hard plastic hospital chair im grateful for my life.

To wake up to a clear rain free day; to be able to decide if its gonna be a pj or clothes day an active(ish) or lazy day, a tv or book day. To hear my kids squabbling, laughing planning their day with friends, to hear the typical city sounds of traffic, honking horns, people passing noisilly by, children playing in the street. For every breath I take I AM THANKFUL!!

If your not in too much pain today please could ya say a wee prayer for my my brother- in - law Tony that he receives a compatable kidney soon and is returned to his faily safe nd well. For my sister claire that she finds the strenght to cope in this situation and that friends and family rally around to offer her practical support. And for my two younf nephews Reece & Luis that they not affected too much by their daddys absence and that they dont play their mummi up too much :-)

Thanx x Dixie x

31 Replies

Good grief Dixie - your bro-in-law has a lot to handle, hope he gets his kidney.

Hospitals can be traumatic places can't they? You are right - it all makes you value what you have got. This Fibro thing so badly affects our quality of life and understandably many of us fight not just Fibro but depression. BUT we are alive, on balance that is better than the alternative.

Sieze the day folks, tell family and friends that you love that you love them and seek out the joy and the things that we can be glad about (Pollyanna inspires me lol).

((((( gentle hugs )))))

Julie xx


Praying for Tony x


Lol pollyanna!!! I loved that film when I was younger :-) thanks for replying Julie. yeah we do sometimes get lost in this maze of pain and depression that fibro seems to trap us in but I guess someone above wanted me to appriciate the fact that I may be battered and bruised but by God Im alive :-)

Thank you Avarose (beautiful name btw) your prayers are appreciated :-) x


i our prayers are thoughts are with your sis and hubby right now.

all the best and im deeply sorry for the news xx


Hi sammy

Thank you so much for your concern & prayers. Its gonna be a battle but as they say; where theres life - theres hope! and with the selflessness of family willing to donate their kidney he at least has a fighting chance and one hes determined to grab with both hands x :-)


Praying with hugs xxxx


Thank you for sharing this with us, your story has made me realise just how lucky I am. Sending prayers and healing thoughts to you all. I really hope Tony gets his transplant quickly and that you all have him in your lives for many years to come. Prayers also going out to those around him in hospital that their lives are eased with love and support from those around them.


Hi dreemar and tiddles thank you kindly for your prayers hugs and thoughtfulness. Yeah i guess it takes something like this to make us appreciate the fact that although we fight what often seems a daily loosing battle with fibro and its symptoms at the end of the day were still alive and therefore open to all the blessings that life contains. Gonna start counting my blessing and appreciating life with all its 'tarnished' beauty :-) x


hello hope everything works out for you all love beth xx



Not good news for your brother in law at all or for any of you...lets hope that a match is found asap! thinking of you all and sending lots of positive energy to you, your brother in law and your sister!

do try and keep us all updated on his progress :D lots of gentle hugs xx


Hi Dixie. What a day you all had. I'll keep Tony, Claire and the rest of you in prayer, please keep us informed if/when your prayer needs change and a doner or operation is imminent. Mya our Lord comfort and guide your family and their friends until Tony is safely at home again. Amen.

Time to apreciate what we have, each day that we are given. Thank you for your post and that I can pray for your family. Love and hugs xx


Thoughts and prayers with you all and all families whom are going through similar.

It certainly is a reality check, makes us stop and think, the little things go out the window and love, hope & care is all that matters. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Take Care of each other, Lou x


Hello, il send kind thoughts and prayers too your family

Lots of love nicki xxxx


my thought as arewith your family hope some kidneys come soon xx


Every blessing & good wish to all concerned. I pray that things will go really well for him & that he gets to enjoy better things ahead. xx


I have just heard that the husband of an old school friend has died aged 54! In July he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which spread to his liver, he was then given 6 months to live. He didn't last 2 months! Since finding out about his death yesterday, I haven't been able to stop thinking about his wife and son. If I was fit and well I would be there with her to support her any way I could. The saddest thing is that they were a wonderful couple together..... I introduced them to each other 35 years ago! I do desperately try to be happy with my lot and live each day to the best of my ability.

I wish your brother in law and his family a fantastic future.


Thank you to all who took the time to post their good wishes :-) I'm deeply moved by all your msg of support and if prayers are answered then tony will receive his kidney and be back home soon with his family xx once again thanx xx


Oh Dixie, my goodness me! Sometimes these things happen in life and make us re-evaluate our own lives. I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law, so young and so tragic. Sending you a huge gentle hug and wishing your family all the luck in the World for what lies ahead. Take care and bless you all xx


prayers said.


O ruth how awful the poor family must be devastated. Dont dwell on the fact your condition makes it impossible to be there im shur they know your there in spirit and when your feeling better write them a letter the written word is a powerful way of expressing your love and support and it can be taken out and read again when life gets hard. you my friend should be proud that you introduced this couple and they had a wonderful 35 yrs together.

God bless ya ruth chin up xxx


Thanx libby and sandra prayers and wishes gratefully acknowledge xx


Think positive! He will get a new kidney. He will recover and feel GREAT. Your sis will have some of the happiest days of her life ahead. This horror will pass. Thinking of you all.


Oh good Lord Dixie what a traumatic & harrowing time you've had.

Sometimes it is these things that put our lives into perspective.

I am having a bad few days myself with fibro but tomorrow I go to my brothers houseto help the clean up after his wife has left him. He is paralysed from the neck down. Makes me feel I have nothing to complain about.

Healing thoughts & prayers are on the way to your brother in law, your sister & family.

Luv & Hugs



I don't normaly pray but I am today and untill you get the outcome your brother-in-law requires wishing your family the best. And a swift result good luck


Thanx all I trully appreciate your kind words thoughts and prayers and know both tony & claire will be deeply touched. X


Prayers duly said, Dixie D., and thank you also for pointing out to us all that life is very precious, even if we suffer pain - something often forgotten, I feel!

I do hope all goes well for your family, and that the kidney transplant happens very soon.

Take care and God Bless you and keep you xxx


Your post really touched me. Healing thoughts to you and your family


This story has brought tears to my eyes.

it makes me realise that my fibro is nothing in comparison to what some people have to go through.

life is very cruel at times it really is.

i hope they find him a match soon and wish him a speedy recovery



Thank you ladymoth, stormwytch, and hjones appriciate your comments wishes and prayers xx god bless xx


My heart goes out to you and your family. I pray that everything goes well for you all and that happier days are coming your way. x


Oh Dixie I send you love and courage the two things you will all need to cope in the next months.

I find myself a very emotional person but at the end of the day stick together and help each other through so that is where the courage comes in every day will be different gentle compassionate hugs xgins


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