Some here may remember that I wrote about my Dad being badly beaten whilst he was on a dementia ward at Prospect Park Hospital Reading. He was 86 at the time and suffered broken ribs, a gash to the head requiring sutures, a gash from his wrist to his elbow, and his chest and back looked like someone had taken a baseball bat to him. My Dad was 7 stone and he pointed out a well built, maybe late 30's year old man as his attacker. So I called the Thames Valley Police and the police did exactly ...nothing ! My Dad cried and was afraid and because he didn't want to stay there the consultant sectioned him. I told the police my Dad was coming home section or no section and no one stood in my way. The police meanwhile, didn't even interview the other patient or any of the staff. So I lodged a complaint with their superiors and my brother and I set about getting carers to look after Dad at home day and night. They sent a lovely Jamaican lady and a great big African woman. Then my Dad told us the African woman (I wont say lady),was hitting him at night, so we installed CCTV and sure enough she was pushing and shoving him and standing on his feet so that he couldnt get out of his chair, while my 85 yr old Mum slept in the next room, oblivious.
We called the police and this time there was no denying it, we had the proof. The carer was arrested and charged with two counts of assault and administering a noxious substance ! Yes, she was drugging him too. Eventually, at Crown Court she was convicted and she received maximum community service, a fine, was tagged and can never work in that line of work again. She should have gone to prison to my mind.
Meanwhile Thames Valley police denied neglect of duty, so I appealed to the Independant Police Complaints Commitee and today, after two years, they apologised for the delay but upheld my complaint. The officers will receive 'Management Action' and I have been assured that Thames Valley Force now have a more 'robust' approach to crime recording bla,blah,blah! They will also see to it that this incident is recorded as a crime. The moral of this story and why have I shared it with you all? To tell you to be vigilant, if you see a bruise ask how it got there, be behind the staff and anyone that looks after your elderly, infirm, and little ones, be their voice and make sure you let all of the 'so called' people in charge that actually it is you that is in charge not them. Staff shortage is no excuse for cruelty and blatant neglect of duty. Meanwhile, my dear old Dad gave up his fight in August last year, but today when I opened the letter from the IPCC I somehow felt satisfied that I had fought in his corner, I had done everything in my power to earn my Father the respect that this kind, loving and gentle man deserved and as he had always tried to protect me through life, I had done the same in the end for him. Love you Dad x
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Brassylady1
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You're amazing, Brassylady1, how fortunate your Dad was to have you as his champion! I'm very sorry for your loss.
We do need to be vigilant about the care that any person is receiving from hired carers, whether the person is young, old, or in between. Glad to hear you made those police pay attention.
Yes but its wasn't just the home carers these were supplied through the local authority by the way, the worst treatment was in hospital at the hands of NHS nurses and doctors!
I suspect my dear Dad was also abused when in NHS continuing care but sadly no proof. So well done you for saving your dear Dad. These monsters deserve much bigger sentences. Also cctv should be in all the care homes to protect the vulnerable.
I agree and I said that but they said no because of patient confidentiality, when my Dad was 'injured' at the hospital they took him to another A&E ( I forgot to mention his collar bone was beoken too) and of course he was supposed to be fitted with a sling, I said he wasn't they said he was. So I contacted the police and asked them to get the cctv from the front of the hospital which would show him coming out of the ambulance, but I also contacted the cctv monitoring team. The police lied and said the cctv had been overwritten and I said 'Really, because Ive just been told , and I have it in writing, that the cctv shows my Dad coming out of the ambulance WITHOUT a sling, so perhaps you need to go back to whoever you spoke with and find out why they lied to you and witheld evidence! Other than that all I can suggest is, you are lying to me! The sling was removed so we would not know how badly injured he was, they even told us to stay away from him because he got upset when we left inorder that we wouldnt see him, but instinct sent my bro down there and thats what we found! Scum is too mild a word !
Your Dad would have been so proud of you Brassylady1 as we are! It's very sad it had to come to that. We put our trust in some so called professionals and they are just awful!
You are a brave and respectful individual who stood up to people who neglected and bullied.
You read about things like this all the time, it always seems to happen to someone else, but unfortunately not in your case. It saddens me that this happened to your Dad, at least you were able to prove it did and the rotters were caught and punished!
No wonder some of us has no faith in the system, esp when all they do is cover things up!
I wish you well and remember my friend what goes around comes around!
Thats very much what happened in the first case, but I managed to get apologies and admittance of failures of duty from the hospital to, I have the letters and now we have employed a solicitor because even when the hospital insisted he fell they couldn't explain how the bruises were on all sides! So they changed that to 'he fell 5 times' well if he fell 5 times and had a job to walk, where were the nursing staff? Thats neglect, so either way they will pay for my Dads suffering if it lays in my power. Thank you for your kind words x
Thank you Elizabeth its nice to know you feel proud of me, thats so kind of you. My Dad was proud of all his children, all 6, he used to look at us all 6 children, 13 grandchildren, I dont know how many great grandchildren lol and he would say ' Im not a rich man moneywise, but all of these are my treasure. He was a kind man and there was a goid 300 people at his funeral it was jaw dropping when we walked in the church it was packed c
You should be so proud of what you have done in fighting your dads case on both fronts and even though he has sadly now passed your dedication will stad to make many aware in the future. I live in a care facility as i have enhanced physical disabilities and had similar issues myself and no one believing me, i then found out that i wasnt the only one but that others were more vulnerable than me. I stopped my problems and in doing that and helping others was threatened with eviction but i refused to back down. In short things are resolved now but i never had the proof so although 3 staff quickly "left" no one was prosecuted.
My answer is this YOU ARE RIGHT, GET CCTV FOR YOUR VULNERABLE PEOPLE, these are now cheap, easy to set up and can be run from a distance DONT WAIT FOR A PROBLEM AND THEN CORRECT IT PREVENT IT FROM HAPPENING.All that is needed is atelephone lin a modem or router and a small CCTV camera, the camera can be run on WIFi, you can set up a camera connected to your smart phone to run live and record 24 hours a day for less than £150. These systems take minutes to set up and its easy but you do need to monitor it from a smart phone, if your loved one has their own room or flat there is no issue over privacy and you can set up a camera to be obvious or covert (if you are really smart do both) they can be set up with movement alarms etc and if you cant do it yourself i bet anyone in your younger family group or friends family over about 12 years old or younger will be able to figure the technology. PLEASE DONT WAIT. . Protect your loved ones NOW.
This is just WONDERFUL of you. I'm so very glad he had you to help him.
My wife was verbally and physically abused in two nursing homes and a hospital, sometimes right in front of me.
They are so desperately short of staff, they take anyone who will take the job it seems. Sometimes that means bad people get in. Just look at how many are saying it has happened to their loved ones already to your post. It seems to be far more wide-spread than most people could ever believe.
Thank you for your warning. I cannot prove it of course, but I'd suspect it happens to nearly everyone. I'm only in my 50s and it's happened to me twice already. I made official complaints and I think now everyone has to complain. Watch for signs of distress in loved ones, they might be too frightened to say anything.
I'm so very sorry you lost him. I lost my most wonderful wife 6 months ago and there still isn't a day I'm not crying for her.
Thank you, I feel I need it so much. I'm trying to spend as much time on the group in the hope it will drown out what I'm feeling, but it isn't working.
I wish that you too find the same relief and comfort that you wished me!
So long as loving, caring people like you keep reporting what's happening and caring enough to fight for their relatives human rights, hopefully it will become a less common occurrence.
It's unbelievable that people entrusted to the care of the sick should even think of such blatant cruelty. What happens when they get old and need care? Yes, certainly what goes out comes round. It may not be immediately but come round it does. What the bible says is true, spoken by the Highest Authority - As you do to others so shall it be done to you.
I agree that awful woman should be in prison, but at least she has lost her livelihood.
True words, Im a great believer, but this was a woman who voiced the opinion the President Mugabe is a good man! Trouble is they bring people in from all over, and I believe some of them originate from countries where slapping and pushing the old and vulnerable would be mild considering, Im sorry but what is acceptable in their countries is far from acceptable here and they do not vet them properly at all. The NHS has gone to pot and I personally believe despite what has and is being said we need to be more careful who we employ in these proffessions. I have no problem if they are vetted and monitored more. My Father died peacefully at home with a Polish carer and a German carer and I could not have wished for better people the Polish lady was with him and live in for a long time and she cried like a baby when he passed, my Dad knew a goid person and despite what he had been thru loved and trusted her God bless you Cassi your place inheaven is assured I think xxx
People if we can call them that are beyond cruel I am so glad you took it all further it's so wrong how much we have to fight for our most vulnerable x
I congratulate you on bringing these scumbags to justice. However can i just say and as you pointed out with Cassi there are people/carers who do generally care and also Nurses i was one until my illness prevented me from continuing a career i so loved to do. All the best for the future.
I agree with you whole heartedly looneysue , I am one of these people too!
I certainly wouldn't stand back and watch abuse happening, I have actually reported many a carer for so called slacking on the job. Like you I always lead by example. It's just a shame that people tar us with the same brush, but I fully understand how this happens!
Once the trust and faith has gone, it may be difficult to ever get it back xx
Its true about the trust and faith being lost but i hope that all the true Nurses/carers can get this back ASAP and continue to do the job they love without feeling they have this black cloud above them because of others appauling behaviour.
Cassi left her own family in Poland to come here to care, when I brought him home for the last time she made his last days as comfortable as possible, she knew when to step back and let the family have their time and there are 6 of us but I called her my other sister. God sent us two angels in the end and he had all 6 of us and Mum around his bed just like he wanted x
You are such a special woman. I used to advise for a charity for the elderly and people were reluctant to complain but I always said this incident could be the tip of the iceberg and if no one complains things will keep happening. The only time it comes to light then is when there is some tragedy and then it is all too late.
It is marvellous that you have persisted for this !ong. It didn't help your father in his original problem but by your action hopefully others will not go through the trauma your family did. I always wonder how carers could be vetted more but have never come ho with a solution but it is amazing what CCTV can reveal. Well done and that j you for ha inf the courage to share your families story.x
Thank you, some people are frightened of authority and they forget that all of them are paid by us, to serve us and yes some do a tough job and quite a few wrong uns need weeding out, I hope we helped to do that xx
I wish there were more people like you thinking that about me xx
God Bless You xx
I am so sad that your late - Dad was the victim of some terrible treatment at the hands of people who should have been caring for him. In my view, if convicted they should be sent to Prison.
As a retired Police Officer, it really angers me when I hear of serving Officers not doing what they are paid to do. They got off lightly with Management Action and in my view should at the very least have received a written warning. If the Police do not do what they are supposed to do then hope for society is starting to fade.
I think that you are wonderful for fighting so hard for justice. I am sorry that you needed to do it in the first place.
Oh Dave, of all the kind words on here, what you have said warms my heart, truly. It means a lot for an ex police officer to say that to me, I think they should have had a written warning too, but you know how hard it is just to get an apology, it was like a little conspiracy between the force and the hospital and when I complained first to the force I had their superior officer on the phone trying to make every excuse for them. An apology gives me enough satisfaction because the people who thought I was a pushover and my Dad was insignificant know different now xx
Brassylady1 ,I am so very sorry to hear about this as it makes me sick to my stomach.My dad has dementia which is very upsetting to me , my mom is his only care giver,that is his choice.After about 3 years of mom doing everything for him I knew it was to much on her and told her about 4 months ago if she felt she needed help that I would understand.I have 6 siblings as well but not sure how they feel about this.He will let one of us watch him but very rare does that happen again his choice.I live two hours away so I'm not much help.After reading your post I am terrified and understand why mom pretty much refuses to do this.We hear about this but never think it would happen to us.Thanks for sharing this as it opened my eyes!!! I wish you and your dad the very best.Your a good daughter.Take cars,Peck🐤
Peck I dont wish to scare you, just make you aware. My Dad didn't like carers in his home he couldn't figure out who they were and for two years nearly, he didn't sleep in his bed. He would make sure my Mum was in then 5 mins later he would be up and out in the living room where the carer was sitting at night, I reckon it was because he wanted to put my Mum to bed and keep an eye on these strangers in his home. Sometime or other you will have to take the reigns cos ur Mum wont be able to cope, start fighting now for a live in carer and one to take over and sit through the night, if they have a spare room of course. But please, please, install CCTV and let them know you are keeping ur eye on them. Oh just one last piece of advice, lay it on thick, your Mum wont like it, but tell them hes too hard to handle etc bcos believe me if they think you lot can cope they will let you. Just be strong and dont be talked down to !
Brassylady1 , Thanks for the advice it's like they both already have their guard up and I know nobody had ever sit with him other than family (bro or sis or a grandchild) he already has fear of mom not being there.Its a sad situation.....it's heart breaking.Take care. Peck.🐤
This is a sad, but unfortunately not uncommon story. My late Mum in Law needed care at the end of her life, due to losing her sight, going deaf and dementia. We managed to keep her in her own home for as long as possible by having carers from the local authority. We found the care provided by these people varied enormously, some were very good, some indifferent, and some really bad. They earn very little for doing this responsible work, they don't get paid for travelling between clients homes, and sometimes their days start very early in the morning, and finish late at night. The local authority used to have it's own team of care workers, but now they contract this work out to companies who are trying to make a profit. Mum had visits of fifteen minutes morning and evening, slightly longer at lunchtime. In fifteen minutes the carer was supposed to get her up and washed and dressed, give her her medications and her breakfast. With someone elderly, frail, and with Mum's disabilities this was almost impossible. As family we were there around four times each week, to spend the afternoon and do additional things, laundry, gardening, doctors visits etc.... and just spend time sitting and talking with Mum. Eventually Mum went into a care home specialising in those who were visually impaired. Mum's anxiety levels increased because her surroundings were unfamiliar, but after repeatedly falling and injuring herself at home, it seemed the best thing to do. She'd had at least three emergency hospital admissions in the last five months she lived in her own home.
The care home staff were kind, but she never settled. Her last hospital admission was her very last. We weren't happy with the hospital treatment, but were scared of complaining in case they took it out on her.
We need to treat our elderly relatives, friends, patients, with much more respect. How do we change things? I really don't know? It scares me that we are all heading towards old age within a failing system.
You did brilliantly in caring for your Dad, you have shaken things up in a way we failed to do. Be proud of what you did.
Well it isnt easy and my brothers also worried about speaking out but I was never backward at coming forward and I made them know that I would be behind them, we would take it in turns to sit with him at night in the hospital ( we wasn't allowed when they put him in Prospect Park , mores the pity) but you are right its very very hard my Dad was a devil he would try to escape and lead them a life he just wanted to get home to Mum, well 68 yrs together is a long time, in the end they were glad for one of us to stay there with him lol but I would take him back home anytime I could and he knew that lol. Thank you so much for your kindness x
Hi Brassylady1 thank you for sharing your story and well done on your achievement. .It's absolutely disgusting that this happens to our old age pensioners when we think they are in a safe place. These people should be jailed and publically shamed so they never get near our pensioners again. So sorry you have had to go through this and how awful that your Dad had to endure such pain and humiliation. Once again thanx for sharing your story. Take care x
This is shocking! I live near reading and can't believe this happened so close to home! Good on you for standing up for him. Did the local papers pick up the story? I wish you and your dad the very best and hope he is now treated with kindness and respect by his carers.
I bet your dad was a very proud father you was his voice and never gave in in situations like this you are not looking for a pat on the back but just think of all the other people who have no voice you have helped my mum was in nursing home we thought she was being neglected and Fort for her to go to another home which we did she had alzimers and was blind so she had no voice, I also think you've got to have a special something about you to work with the elderly so be very proud of yourself hun cos we are
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