It shouldn't be like this, but it is. The sun was shining for the first time in weeks and I had some rare energy so did a huge washing and hung it out. Half way through I began to get really paranoid - what if somebody reports me to DWP? I only get ESA but have had to fight to appeal for that. You other fibromites probably know I'm now exhausted and don't know if I have the strength to put the clean duvet cover on the bed and I will suffer tomorrow.
What happened to the world that I have to be afraid my life will fall apart for doing my washing?
It saying something when we have to feel like this isn`t it whippet,I can only walk my little yorkie about 8 or 10 houses up,but I`m always scared someone will say "well not a lot wrong with her then",They don`t think that 18 months ago I could walk her the 10 minutes or so to the seafront and little park where she could have a good run.
I agree with all the weeding out they are doing with people claiming,but I`ll bet my last penny, the one`s who are pulling a fast one don`t go through the hoops that we do.It`s all so unfair.
Mainly one malicious neighbour I worry about - see below but there are a lot more bad days than good days and I refuse to let her spoil the good ones for me x
hey you two its so true i know of a woman cheating benefits badly .....everytime she gets reported she pitches up in a wheelchair rolling pathetic huge tear filed eyes and gets exonerated she is very careful to see doctors every two weeks to complain ...... meadow lady lol being polite here butterfly hugs petal
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Lots of that goes on around here too petal but I can only answer for myself and I deserve what little I get so they can go xxxxxx See you on the other sided x
i agree with you my parents always say to me to be careful but like i say to them but im having a good day and want to make to most of it i dont go out the house or do anything the rest of the time but it is horrible when we have to feel this way when we are suffering ive seen alot of disabled people running from their cars or giving me dirty looks when ive pulled into a disabled space i would love to be able to run again and go back to work to be pain free and rid of this illness its about time they had fibro sufferers dealing with our claims and assessing us dwp and the goverment should have us working for them instead of who they already have at least we know what we are talking about we live with it day in day out big gentle soft hugs to you all xx
I wish Fibroaction or one of the other similar charities would print a card that said something I could just hand to people! It is really just my next door neighbour that I worry about - see below x
I agree with what you say whippet and the other cmments. When i've had a good day and done some gardening or walked to local shop i wounder if anyone is watching. It's awfull to be made to feel guilty and look over your shoulder incase someome might be watching you. Soft hugs to all xx
Thanks scrumie. Sometimes on my way over to my Dad's I realise I am walking quite quickly and not limping or using my stick and I actually slow down! Ridiculous x
Hey everyone yeah i agree and i do not claim a penny as much as i been told i should ! i work and because it is my own it is extremely difficult!!!! i do not do the physical side, althoug i may potter.. i also know ppl who do the 'running from cars and go out clubbing even if dont do a lot of dancing'! (they have cars and badges)
I have read the Blue badge disablilty forms and on a 'decent' day i can do a bit of walking not much as after few mins am heavy and my neck and back are agony! not even noticeable but on the fors it does ask are you 'SEVERELY' having trouble ..errrrm hang on ohhh well i shall put the bad days then when i cannot even make a cup of TEA thankyo and i get frustrated or get confused what am doing .. like i say there are certain illnesses that are instantly diagnosed because they have a 'name' and yet they can be fine one minute and in bed the next (that is me) you never know what is next on the agenda of of your illness because if it could be predicted we would be properly diagnosed and given full entitlement without a fight! you see INTERNET plays a big role in things now as there are symptoms available etc etc and ppl abuse it.. but i have no idea whre to go or what to do. I have a lot of medical ppl in my life who i deal with and a lot go on that i SHOULD claim as i dont give up and i keep positive.. some go to surgeries to see GP's with a back ache get a sick not then on disability! THIS what we have is probably life long who knows and when you have a spurt of little energy you use it because you feel 'half normal' but then your just put rite back down on that sofa or bed for days suffering! !!!
so lets all take our BED QUILTS to the DLA xxxxxxx i know i waffle lol xx
I agree with everything you say and thanks. I would love us protest publicly but the chances of knowing I'm gonna have a good day and could do it aren't good x
Know exactly what you mean. I often feel guilty for the rare day I feel abut better!! It's shocking really cos all u are doing is tending to your basic needs. Surely we should be expected to be able look after ourselves B4 going to work AS WELL.. Gentle hugs. Hope you have more good days
Have the same thoughts, I am trying to get more fit but can only work for 1 -2 hours a day and need my DLA and blue badge. The other day I carried my 93 year old neighbour's shopping home for her which did cause considerable pain in my arms but what was I meant to do see her struggling as she went pass my gate, smile and just say hello.
It's dreadful. Thanks JacHK - I get some of my Dad's shopping when I can but never let on that it's not for me!
Thanks so much everybody. So good to know you understand. At the moment, the only reason I am even being left alone on ESA is because I have breast cancer and am on a nasty drug to try to shrink the tumours. I felt more paranoid because next door neighbour came out into her garden and she and I have a bad history and I know she is malicious. Last week she pushed a dead thrush under the fence to my side. My cat is about 15 and can't climb her 6ft fence and this bird had obviously been squashed by a car or something and it wasn't there the day before so I suppose she is the one I worry about. My other neighbours in my flats have actually heard me weep often enough not to question me.
I am sorry you have Cancer, but pleased you are getting treatment.
I also have a malicious neighbour. She was throwing stones onto our lawn - great for the lawnmower! We collected the stones over a couple of weeks then left a note and the bag telling her husband what she is up to and it stopped.
I would have popped the bird back over to her side and pleaded ignorance!
Its so sad, that we have enough to worry about and cope with, without the added worry of paranoia.(Yes, me too) But that is yet another way the government is trying to make us back down.I call that mental cruelty. We do have some good days and as Harvey said, when you have one, you need to enjoy it. You never know when you're going to have another one. I am lucky and grateful that I can do a lot of things but I know if I overdo it, Im GOING TO suffer tomorrow (or even before) I have Fibro, Arthritis and other stuff. I live alone, so its me who has to do the shopping, cleaning, washing, put the bins out, tidy the garden, walk the dog etc etc. I dont always have the energy to do those things, but my life has to go on, whether someone is snooping on me or not. But yes, I do get paranoid and I shouldnt. I grew up with a mother who made me feel guilty about EVERYTHING I did, because I had a mind of my own and I wasnt a clone of her. I was just starting to convince myself that I dont have to feel guilty any more (I havent seen my mother for about 15 yrs, by choice, and I had to have councelling to try to get rid of these guilt feelings. Im 54 now, so its been life-long) then the good old government have put all that good work back years.thank you mr cameron.
Thanks bumblebee. It is terrible isn't it but I keep having to remind myself I am not doing anything wrong. I was brought up feeling harried because I was always doing something wrong! I've had years of cousnelling too to get even close to feeling I have the right to be me. My dad too, much as I love him seems to have had a blueprint for my life which I never got to see and probably would have hated and he will never understand my life choices so will always disapprove so I just have to settle for the fact that I know he loves me and before my Mum died, I knew I wasn't responsible for her life-long unhapiness.
Tempted to complain about dead bird to council but they don't want to be bothered with much more serious anti-social behaviour than that!
I definitely feel like I am being watched because I am, by everyone! I work in a school and most do not understand why I use a wheelchair, batterychair, office chair - sometimes! They see me go around the site in the battery operated chair they get out of it and walk across the room! They see me use a wheelchair to get down the corridor to get into or out of work to the office to get my battery chair. They see me use an office chair in the classroom, but then walk around and across the room. They say, but you can walk miss? Why do you use... And I welcome the questions because they allow me to reply. However most do not ask and some accuse me of making it all up! Or needing it because I am fat.
Today, because my husband had weeded the raised flowerbed, I was able to dig holes for plants and plant them using a long handled spoon. However, as I went back inside I had to tell my dog 'good thing that bed had been dug over so I could plant those new plants' as if she could understand! No, it was in case my neighbour had heard or seen me doing it!
Sometimes I can walk freely down the garden, this often surprises me too, but its lovely though rare. Then I worry a neighbour has seen me!
Things are getting bad at work so I may have to give it up, but I don't want anyone accusing me of lying. Having FM is bad enough without that!
Chin up, we believe you, we are right with you as you can see. Try not to let it get you down.
Thanks S-J. I think we just have to live our lives and push for more awareness of fibro. I can't waste anymore of my time on it - good days are too precious x
there seems to be alot of us that do feel the same and we have the right to live a decent quality of life just like anyone else and we should not be made to feel this way it really hurts that there are so many of us out there that are all scared to even make the most of our good days and its all wrong the goverment really need to stop and listen but as per they are too busy lining their own pockets and doing nothing for people that do need their help i need to stop typing now as im getting annoyed i had to fight to get my benefits and i mean fight went through hell and back just like i expect you all did and its not how it should be too many who are not genuine get benefits for naff all aggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh right im gonna shut up im sorry guys just makes me so angry soft gentle hugs to each and every one of you xxx
as for the dead bird me i would take it back round there and say to her yours i beleive lol and watch her jaw hit the deck lol just kidding i would just take a note of everything that happens between you and your neighbour then present it to the council as this is not what you need you have enough on your plate hun chin up but do keep a diary of things that your neighbour does it will be handy to keep and when you do decide to make a complaint you will have that as evidence put the dates and times that things are happening k chin up xxx and was just kidding bout taking the bird round xxx
I'd take the dead bird back - I actually tried the first day but she was out. Now nature has taken it's course and I can't go near it! I will keep a diary though because she is a bxxxx. x
So sorry Whippet lover about your cancer and your neighbour. One of mine is a bit of a pain as well but nothing compare to that- just loud, common messy.
Agree with Harvey although the bird in inself may not result in action as it is part of a trend you need to keep a diary but try not to let her ruin her life. I would not have taken the bird around.
another neighbour complained about our dog messing in their garden when our dog is never let out on her own. Started screaming at her and I have never seen my husband so angry at the woman. Turns out it was not a dog at all
but our local nutter, I am sure most villages have one. Sometimes I think I would love to live on a small island or several hundred acres of my own land around me.
Thanks Jac, cancer no problem apart from side effects of the meds being the same as fibro so much worse than usual. Tumours shrinking so fingers crossed. Fibro is the main problems because there are no services here.
Am with you all on this. I feel paronid if I managed to do work in my garden, hang out washing ,walk to the end of the road! if your able to one of these things a day it means you can't do anythingelse cos your too knackered! My house work is never up to date but no one asks if I would like a hand just make sarcastic coments if I don't cut the grass! grrr these people make me sooo angry the could not last a day in our shoes! Pah there are alway going to be nasty people but this site has given me hope as everyone here is so supportive. gently hugging you all xxxx
Thanks dottie, it's so true. I would be lost without this site. I don't have to try to make people in my life understand who will never get it. Hugs to you and all xxx
Thanks all. I guess all we can do is to raise awareness of fibro however we can. I will keep a diary re my neighbour and see if she does anything else. At least the other 3 residents in this block saw the bird and realise it can ony have come from the other side of the fence so I have that as proof!
I'm going to try to live my life and deal with problems if and when they come up.
the difference between people who cheat the system is that they don't have something that the rest of us have A CONCIENCE! so they go for there assessment/appeal whatever tell a pack of lies, believe in their own lies so appear confident and they usually end up with getting what they want,there is someone i know who claims they can't even go out the house alone but i have seen them go on a 8 mile bus journey, buy boxes of ammo that are heavy in a rucksack,even though he has a bad back, then 3 times a week goes out to a farm carrying his bag and a big rifle, and can go shooting for a few hours despite having too much pain to lift his arms, i would think a kick back from a gun being shot repeatedly would kill your arms/shouders, he gets every benefit going!!! makes me sick,i got my esa appeal soon ,dreading it xxx p.s don't let your neighbour intimidate you!!
My favourite comment about the house (and lack of housework) was that it is a very relaxed house, and I had a warm glow when one of my sons friends said he always felt very welcome here.
In my opinion I am not the only one who makes it dirty and so far no one has had any food poisioning etc just have to live with the dust.
Yes, it goes on everywhere but I can only 'keep my side of the street clean'. I'm not lying or asking for anything more than I'm entitled to. I could have appealed my DLA application but I know I can't present them with enough back-up from a specialist who I haven't seen yet and am currently just grateful to be getting ESA.
I live alone Jac so really the only person who has to put up with it is me! I do my best!
hi peeps,ive made a few comments on this fantastic site now and feel i should introduce myself,my name is debbie and i have been diagnosed for approx 10 years now after an accident at work, after reading all your posts i felt i just had to reply. i am now in a power wheelchair and am for 95% of the time, i can walk but very little and when i do walk im a liability due to falling when im on my feet, i never go out by myself and i still have my driving licence and drive very little these days but may i add my car is a mobility mpv and is automatic which makes the job easier, i was diagnosed with degenerative discs in my cervical spine after the work accident i also had a heart attack 2 years ago just after my 40th birthday. anyhow enough about me...............i know many people who are claiming benefits which they shouldnt be and they know they are the rogues the goverment are trying to stop, yes it really gets my back up too. there are far to many ppl in this world who are to dam interested in other peoples lives cos their own life is boring...... what i think is so what what other ppl think of me and my disability, so long as the ppl you love know how these disabilities make your life so hard that should be all that counts..............let the sticky beaks make their own judgements after all they only do these things to ppl like us because they are jealous of us, that we are getting something their not well i say let them have the illnesses they would soon learn what life is like for us all. ppl like them are not worth worrying about, enjoy your lives you have ppl and so what, what they think because they dont count anyhow ,dont waste what precious little energy you have left on them....................THERE NOT WORTH IT. soft hugs DEBBIE XX
Benefit system is very flawed. My son after 4 years at university was underemployed and taking any job he could find; so far all are temps through agencies. About a month ago offered one in a factory cleaning, he went, starting at 6 am therefore had to drive 40 miles round trip, after 4 hours was told they did not want him again that week, so he received 4 hours at minimum wage and lost all benefits that week as he missed signing on.
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