lonely and sleepless nights

does any one else have a partner but spnds the nights in differant bedrooms......

its strange because i want him near me but i dont like him touching me as it hurts and then sets me off for the rest of the night , and i fall asleep around 5 in the morning then the dogs wake me up at 7 to go out for there little jobs, well one does the other is a very large bull mastif.... if you know what i mean lol...

any way thats me done fingers getting type sore , take care guys hug s xx

12 Replies

  • y partner spends the night in a different house !!! we have been together 8 years but my fibro i have hd 2 and diagnosed last july, but there is no way he could sleep here at min, he used to stay fri/sat night but last time he stayed was new years eve, it is awful i just have so much pain and move around. get up/down twist turn put this cover there that pillow there it really would not be fair on him. but thank god he is a patient and carinhg person and he is ok with it but it does worry me that one day he will say thats it i am off. i have spoken to him and told him he has not got to stay but he does so that alone says something, so you are not alone in your sityation i am sure you will get many answers of people wh are like you. take care love to you diddle x

  • oh my god, you took my concerns right out of my mouth. my husband constantly tells me he loves me but for over two years has litterally spent his time in the spare bedroom. he works full time and needs his sleep and my constant fidgeting and getting up wake him. i do understand, we do manage a few night here and there but it is rare and i don;t mind that much any more. it is tough for the whole family in varying ways, but it does sadden me the impact has been so immense. it scares me a little about the loss of intimacy just because it is another chink in my feeling of isolation. as my family all work i spend most of my time alone in the house. i have been shocked how so called friends have reacted. they all at some time think this condition is psychological, because i end up upset. there are those who just make snide digs and those who talk behind your back. all my true friends work so i feel very lonely most of the time. i think i will get on with things but each day i end up exhausted and in pain and frustrated by the lack of things i manage,

    big hug


  • Bless you but like me you must have a very understanding partner who loves you no matter what and that is nice and quite rare these days i wonder if he was younger would he go off but who knows you cant sit all day worrying what may happen jus live for the here and now today he is there and loves me and hopefully tommorrow hw will be but if he decideds to go then thats another thing i will have to deal with and i will i have done it before, but here oi go negative again lol anyway glad you got a lovely partner and long may you remain so take care love to you Diddle x

  • Bless you are so sweet you really are. you take care of yourself and enjoy your day love yo you Diddle x

  • this just sounds like my life, people just don't get it, xx

  • thats very true love does and you certainly do find out who your really true friends are when something like this comes up love to you diddle x

  • HI Pammy, you certainly aren't alone in this. Over the last year I think I've spent 50 per cent of the time sleeping on the sofa, partly cos that's where I fall asleep in the early evening and my boyfriend can't rouse me; partly because I can't get comfy in bed. When I sleep on the sofa I usually wake up around 2am and it's unfair to go to bed and disturb him when he's working the next morning. He is very understanding about the fibro, sometimes gently takes the mickey out of me and makes me laugh, and he understands why I don't go to bed with him. It does means that when you do feel ok and want to cuddle up, it feels more special. Enjoy your day.

  • My DH spends his nights in our spare room too. Has been in there about 18 months permanently and probably prev 2 years on and off. He too has a demanding job and needs his sleep, I'd love him to be with me and when I realised I couldn't have that (for his sake) I have to confess I moved one of the dogs in with me for nightime company.

    Poor husband gets minimal cuddles, no sex and still wants to stay.

    I have to say - we might have FM but we're a hell of a lot luckier in love than many.

    x x x

  • I've had my own bed for years :) and love it. My husband snored so much and thrashed about and talked in his sleep so I went in the spare room as I was shattered every day. He also sang in the clubs in London many nights a week and didn't get in till the early hours and woke me up :(

    He's been in a home for the last 6 years so I have my bed and my room to myself and don't have to worry about whether anyone is happy with it or not lol. It can be a bit lonely mind you...... :( xx

  • I was amazed and relieved to read how many of you are in the same boat as me! We dont have separate beds but might as well have really. I go to bed about 8 exhausted and lay there watching tv till I think there is half a chance of sleep, He watches tv downstairs and comes to bed when I`m asleep. I often get up and go down for several hrs during the night, intimacy a long forgotten joy. I miss him sometimes so much and get lonely like you diddle but thats the way it is. I can`t change anything, and as we have been married thirty years this time I suppose I am lucky. I wish we could wear a badge to say how we feel when people think we are fine but we feel like a road accident in progress I get weary trying to be "ok" when I`m not. Gentle hugs to all.

  • ummmm been married 15 years now and miss the cuddles but i think we may make it through i just miss the intimacy and the well being it brought. we have been dealing with severe fibro for over four years now . t has made my husband more caring as he worries so where it will all led. he hates seeing me so hindered and compromised but most he hates seeing me in pain xxx

  • this has made me love him more but sometimes i think he don't deserve to suffer so much too.

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