Sad and lonely

I found out 12 weeks ago that my husband has been cheating on me. I am devastated. My whole world has been turned upside down.

He has been coming back then leaving me again. Not knowing what he wants. My children are all grown up and have families of their own. They all have an opinion on what's gone on. Anyway, I have had enough of him coming and going and have now put a stop to it. Its over, I need now to get over him................but how?

Its a strain to get up in the morning, I could so easily stay there all day, but I don't.

I have a few friends that come round to see me a couple of times a week.

I am hurting, inside and out. I am lonely.

I went to bingo with a friend last night. I bumped into another old friend I haven't seen in about 10 years. They asked how I was and I burst into tears. It hit me then. It is real, he has left me..........................

9 Replies

  • Oh God, nanatre, how awful for you. I don't know what I'd do if my hubby were to leave me. I don't want to sound cruel, but it's best that you've told him not to come round any more, & now can start healing. You need to take care of yourself, you need to take time out, to love yourself. It's just like a bereavement, you need time to deal with this. Take a couple of days out to have a 'duvet day' - spend a day, or two, having breakfast in bed, watching telly, resting up, even eating ice cream in bed, if that's what you want!

    Gentle Hugs,

    Julie xxx

  • Sorry that you are going through such a tough time, as said take care of yourself now, you have done the right thing.

  • So sorry that this has happened to you. Take each day at a time. Cry, scream whatever feels right at the time. I would guess you have been married a long time, so it's like a bereavement. You are right to put a stop to him dropping in, as this does not help you. Try to surround yourself with people who you trust. You will get through it, but it will take time. Sending you healing thoughts x

  • i am really sorry to hear that i understand your felling very well. my husband did to like yours did to you.when i red your writing i start to cry and know how painful it is ,but you have to take care yourself

  • Hi Nature,

    I cannot pretend to understand how you feel, but please accept my condolences at your loss. I know you hurt right now, and maybe having trouble coming to terms with the fact he has lost, but with time it will get better.

    If you want to talk to me, send an email to and I will send you my telephone number. I have Samaritan training and if you want it, emotional support. Hang in there. It is rough now, but that will not always be the case.

    Much love


  • Hi Hun how desperate you feel right now I send my love and I am about if you want a chat have lots of empathy. You have a brilliant offer from Elizabeth if you feel like taking her up on it. I know how lonely we can feel so dont feel alone chat with someone. xgins

  • Keep your chin up what you are going through is the worst thung ever but you have done the right thing and shown amazing strength of character . Things will improve and there is a life after this for you !!! Stay strong ,dont be afraid to cry be angry its all part of the healing process xxxx goid luck xxxxx im rooting for you !

  • Hi,

    I feel your pain,went thru the same thing 4 years ago.i was pregnant with my son at the time.

    The best advice I can give you is to look after yourself- a nice bubble bath,buying yourself flowers etc. Its also ok to stay in bed on some days when you cant face the world.Its also good to go out and about too.its good that you have such good friends.Take up their offers to go out,it will keep you busy and sometimes just getting out of the house can lift your mood. :)

    Things will get better,I promise. You need to give yourself time to grief, get angry :(. Men can be selfish and cruel but not all of them I like that.

    See your GP if things get harder/unbearable.they might offer you CBT/counselling. I found it really helpful. Together with anti-depressants,i was able to cope. I know that these are not for everyone but there is no harm in trying,i think.

    I am now studying to be a mental health nurse as I want to help others like me.I am here for you if you want to chat send me a PM.

    Sending you lots of hugs. xxx

  • Thank you all so much. I just wish I knew what was going on in his head. He is lying to me and would never ever lie.

    This woman threw herself at him and he responded. She is married, has had many affairs, and was still seeing 2 other men when she came onto my husband. She told him she was an estate agent and lived in a cottage. She is the cleaner of this cottage and is not an estate agent. She is rather posh and he cannot believe she likes him.

    Its a flattery thing........but, he wanted both of us. He just wouldnt or couldnt make his mind up so I told him to leave me alone. He messed me about for weeks, but is leaving me alone now.

    I know I will be ok. I have wonderful children. And amazing friends. It just hurts, I know he would kill anyone that put me through all this stress.........I have to stop thinking about it all, it sends me cuckoo.

    Thanks again, you lot are amazing.........I am tired today......think I will have an early night


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