Not so good

Last few months have been dreadful even for me and i've not been good for a long time. Diagnosed officially in May/June and still on a merrigoround for medication and treatment to try and sort me out onto an even keel. My mothers had an affair and then blamed it all on everyone else that no one trusts her after everything thats come out. Whenever new stuff gets found out she claims she's depressed but all other times she is adamant that she's not ill. I've been living out of bags at friends and my boyfriends to avoid it all and try to help myself as my pain is only getting worse from stress, frustration, anger and total lack of sleep. I've been moved onto sertraline, zomorph and looking to go onto pregabalin but nothings working and my gps are back at their 'we'll see how you go' phase when i am at the end of my tether and everyone knows it. I am at a loss at what else to do. Neithrr of my parents have the remotest support or guidance for me as they only care about if they divorce who gets what and both are trying to 'win' me on their side against the other. I cant live like this.

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  • hi Sally that is just sounds about right me,me,me all the time don't care about anybody when there a red flashing warning light that just about to blow up, i know doctors can be a bit slow but one thing you have do right apart from moving away from the stress and that's come here, you will get more support on here from many people that either know what you going though or can just be there for you to put your head on a caring shoulder, my heart goes out to you, you need help with what your going though and you need it now, i'm bigalan its been nice to meet you but i wish for different reason hang in there you are among friends that will help as best has we can take care hope to speak to you again sally from your new friend bigalan or Alan if you like

  • Been to out of hours dr at huddersfield royal. Dr not impressed with my gps lack of enthusiasm to try move me forwards. He's put me on liquid morphine as well as zomorph to try and help relax me to sleep for a few hours. Not really the direction i was hoping to go in in the long run but its better than trying cope as i am for now. I long to come off opioids for good but without pregabalin or gabapentin i have no idea how i'd manage in 9-10/10 constantly. I am trying to do physio, psychology and ot therapies. It all feels like i'm on a step backwards with all the nonsense my parents are throwing into the air. Thanks for your advice. I am not giving up but just find it very difficult to see the way through the pain, exhaustion, low moods etc

    Sally

  • hi sally you are an amazing person and very pretty to by your picture, do you know doctors are happy unless that can moan about something, but has for you my dear friend i was on liquid morphine and i tell you wow i thought i was flying it was great the pain easy off but you know about it when your next dose was, may i suggest something to you there an old saying don't run before you can walk, which mean try your best for what you can do then keep building yourself up, i know its hard for you with your parents going on like they do in fact who's the children here? where was i yes just do what you can do until you feel stronger enough to cope, i know i can't tell people what to do but just remember this i've been there and still am and this is how i've learnt to cope not easy but it can be done take care sally like i said your a beautiful person don't let them break you keep in there my friend take care your friend Alan xx

  • Oh bless - as bigalan has said, first and best move to get away from it all.

    I completely cut myself from my family when I was 17 - it was a decision I made for my own sanity.

    I have no regrets. I love my dad and I still keep in contact with him. My mother and all her lies and deceit were my problem too - and she went to her grave a bitter and lonely lady. It is very sad but true.

    I have learned over the years and especially now that you cannot change people into what you think they should be - no matter how much it hurts and no matter how wrong you think they are.

    All you can do is be the person you want to be and choose the people you want to have in your life and that make you feel happy. No matter what anybody throws at you or does, they cannot take the good that is within you and you should not let their bad deeds fester inside you. Do not allow them to transfer their anxieties and woes on to you.

    Look after yourself and find something positive to focus on. It will help you get through and make you feel a little better.

    You may not believe it is possible to feel better - but take it from experience that when you remove the stress and replace it with positive things, you will feel a whole lot better - not cured but the weight will be lightened.

    Take care and keep strong xx

  • Been to out of hours dr at huddersfield royal. Dr not impressed with my gps lack of enthusiasm to try move me forwards. He's put me on liquid morphine as well as zomorph to try and help relax me to sleep for a few hours. Not really the direction i was hoping to go in in the long run but its better than trying cope as i am for now. least i have the odd relative and friend who lives nearby for a distraction from all the stress. Thanks for your advice

    Sally

  • Oh my love , so sorry your not getting support you need if you don't mind me asking how old are you . As there are agency out there to help depend on age who will help with bonds for private flats etc you should proberly get in touch with CAB , social services adult section , in Wales there is a group called gwynfa the later even has rooms to let you have while they sort out fixed accomadation for you ? If your aged between 18 and 25 .also furniture grants and white goods.

    You need to find some stability and if your parents are being that stupid and self absorbent . Take yourself out of it and put yourself first , have you any grandparents or other relatives that can help .

    wish I could be of more help .

    Gentle hugs

    Take care

    Chris x

  • 27. I am awaiting news from my council on my application for accomodation. Taking quite a while despite explaining my concerns and my health issues. I can only spend days at a time with my boyfriend or friends. My grandmothers dont wish to get that involved.

    Thanks for your support.

    Sally

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I sincerely hope that you can stay out of it all for your own health's sake. It would be wonderful for you if the council could find you somewhere of your own and then hopefully you would endure less stress and anxiety and maybe (just maybe) start to feel a little better.

    It must genuinely be a very difficult situation for you as they are your mum and dad and nothing in your life can prepare you for this kind of upheaval with your parents? I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Thanks for your support. I ended up needing my 20mg zomorph plus in total 25ml of oramorph during the night to settle me enough to sleep. Only got 3.5hours sleep but a lot better than what i have been getting.

    Sally

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I sincerely hope that you manage to get a good sleep tonight.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Sally that's what we all suffer its rotten I know but chin up try to be happy x

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