Not a good week :(

[msBrightside]

Have been completely exhausted and late for college twice with the tense morning muscles. Found out yesterday I had to be in toady & had to stay off to rest, as 4days was just too much for me. I feel such a failure.

Doesn't help I argued about the morning schedule with my sister. We argue easily so I put off telling her she was making me only have 40 mins to get ready every morning. I had been working around her getring up at 5am on certain days for the last 2weeks but it resulted in me being late and more exhausted it's difficult as it is for me to wake up. She gets up 2 hrs before she leaves and I leave 1hour before her. So I'm waking at 6 am and waiting half an hour to get in the bathroom. Got up before her and I was in her way apparently. Got shouted at by her on my first day of college.

It is pretty petty I am probably sucked into the drama of a 21year old (her age). She is highly strung. I am just ranting so feel free to ignore lol but what really hurt me is she said I shouldn't be going to college, im stupid to do so and it's my fault if I can't get up. Also added at one point that I'm selfish and feeling sorry for myself expecting everyone to run around after me. Which isn't the case there is 5 other people in my house and if I can't manage to make myself something I don't eat. I never expect or ask anyone except my mum occasionally to get me a drink or that if I can't get down the stairs on really bad days.

Think it's just one of they days today! Got a few days off and hopefully be back to myself in no time. Especially for college monday, I'm not giving up

[lou60]

How awful for you, I think it is very brave of you to go to college don't be put off, it sounds like the usual morning carry on to me however you can do without the barbed comments when you are struggling to get going each day. I suggest you show your sister some info about your illness. For many of us it takes an age just to get moving, factor in the need to be somewhere by a certain time you increase the stress. I wish the best for the future. Lou XX

[msBrightside in reply to lou60]

I Appreciate your comment Lou Thanks x

It is just the usual sibling Bickers that most people grow out of. She makes the same comments that she knows will hurt me though. That turns it more serious to me.

I tried to educate her on it before, as teens we argued constantly that I didn't listen to her. My brain wanders off in conversations, I get forgetful and sometimes don't have the capacity of energy to talk. When I was diagnosed I recognised many of these traits and showed her a print out she said I was totally at it and it was just me. So I haven't bothered since. May be a good idea to try though

I really want to stick in at college I love it & I have a meeting with learning support Monday. Hoping that will help.

I don't really know how to go about telling my lecturers and class mates about my illness. I'm very weirdly private possibly guarded withdraw people I don't know.

Think it is mostly stress thanks for helping me realise that XX

[Shadows-walker]

Hi try not to stress over your silly selfish little sister I will say what you can't ,you are doing a grand job ,can your mum have a word with her ,would she listen , ? Don't give up get some rest try not to stress, one day your sister will realise that she has been very wrong ,but that will take time you might want to tell her beauty comes from within ,I am very annoyed for you at the moment will chat to you later x

[msBrightside in reply to Shadows-walker]

Hey hope you are doing alrite too x

Thanks, I think my mum will have a word with her. Spoke alot about it with my mum today, she thinks my sis would be horrified to know how much she upset me. My nana thinks everyone says silly things in arguments & I should just forgive and forget. I feel like my sister doesn't think she's wrong in what she has said though. She knew exactly what she was saying its not the first time and she's not sorry so I don't feel I should just bow down and forgive her easily. I feel daft for forgiving her the last few times she has said the same things.

On a positive my nana brought me a brand new keyboard to practice on and I'm planning on convincing my dad to help me out with guitar.

That's my weekend sorted, few days of rest and I'll be fine. Got the doctors tomorrow too. Hope you have had a good day x

[Fogginut]

Pff sisters.....I feel your pain

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

People have already said what I wanted to so I shall just add a *hug*

xxx

[msBrightside in reply to Fogginut]

Aw thank you soo true can't live with them can't live without them ♡

xxx

[TheAuthor]

Hi msBrightside

I am so sorry to read that you are feeling so awful with things at the moment, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I completely understand how much this must hurt you, and I agree with the others that maybe your mum could speak to your sister for you, and explain that you are ill and being spoken to in this way will only make you feel worse.

I want to wish you all the best of luck with your course, and I think that you are to be admired and praised for your bravery and fight in the face of such adversity as Fibro!

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

[msBrightside in reply to TheAuthor]

Hi Ken,

Thanks for your comments

Feel a bit more positive now, haven't resolved things with my sis but she will be away in cancun with her boyfriend for the next two weeks. So should be easier next week to get to college.

Appreciate your help and encouragement. I am excited to get back to college on Monday.

Shaunna x

[rosewine]

So sorry to hear that things have been so difficult between you and your sister it looks as though she just doesn;t have an understanding of how difficult it is to get yourself up in the mornings. I am going to a wedding this weekend and travelling up tomorrow so I can have a rest before the ceremony on Sat. My couisin wants to meet me on our arrival which is lovely of him but I don;t think he could understand why I couldn;t give him a specific time of arrival as it is all according to how I am in the morning what time we will set off. it is very difficult for healthy people to understand and I think they just think we are being awkward to spite them. I am glad it looks as though your Mom is going to have a word and at least you can look forward to having 2 weeks peace whilst she is away. I am so glad you are enjoying college just keep that in your mind when things get difficult. Hope you get on well at the docs and and with the learning support on Mondayx

[msBrightside in reply to rosewine]

She has acknowledged tonight that she doesn't understand. But made out that it's just the same as her being tired. So frustrating, talking to a brick wall in her world she's never in the wrong. I'm apparently out of order for asking her to get up earlier when I didn't even ask that. I asked could we work something out.

I think the deep rooted issue is I've been ill most of my life and maybe it's made her feel a lack of attention and gave her a chip on her shoulder.

Instead of acknowledging she feels bad about the way she's treated me, she's turning it to hate towards me.

My mum tried to mediate between us instead of just talking to her. It helped me get it all of my chest. Didn't work for my sister she just got defensive and annoyed feeling I was making her look bad. Saying I'm ruining the excitement of her holiday too "/

I kbow exactly what you mean i have that problem with everyone it's like yeah I'll meet you sometime that day lol even the doctor got annoyed when I missed an appointment one day he is a nice guy though and sorted me one for later that day.

Thanks hopefully feel better than the last time I went to the doctors. Got to fill in my PIP forms too, feel I shouldn't tell him I'm at college if im wanting him to help support it.

Hope you are feeling as well as possible and enjoy the wedding I bet your cousin will just be glad to see you x

[clare_hart]

Aw, ms Brightside. I am sorry. After the news of your starting school, I was so hopeful that you would have a great experience. I still think you will.

Who knew what a brat your sister would be. 21 and that immature? I hope she turns out to be a blip on the radar and you have a wonderful time the rest of each day.

[msBrightside in reply to clare_hart]

Aw thanks I'm hopeful it is just one of they weeks. Did enjoy college for the most part except for the timetable change. Had a great jam with the band Monday worked on stand by me with a rock vibe and had a great recording session Tuesday. Wednesday I was just out of the game but headed in anyway to get sent home lol we did manage 2 songs though my drummer and bassist were missing.

I think I need to stop rising to the immaturity it becomes so petty with my sister. Think it's something we need to grow out of. I don't feel like being around her at all at the moment. Her words were so hurtful and unnecessary. Still waiting on a real apology that I'll probably never get. She tried to be my best pal when she came in from work called me ignorant for not replying and I said 'If I got an apology I'd have no need to be ignorant'. So playing it that way gives me zero chance haha

Hope you are getting on ok and wish you all the best x

[clare_hart in reply to msBrightside]

There is no one who knows how to push our buttons as well as a family member! Nuts to that.

[msBrightside in reply to clare_hart]

Yeah that's so true the ones closest to us know how to hurt us the most.

[mitziblue]

So sorry sweetheart!!! It's difficult for many to understand that just because we look normal we still have a lot going on, most of it isn't good. I hope your sister will be more compassionate towards you. You keep your head healed high as I'm very proud of you for trying to go forward and live your life and not letting your health keep you from reaching for your dreams!!! XXX Mitzi

[msBrightside in reply to mitziblue]

Yeah it's almost impossible to get people to understand. I act fine for my own mentality. But it backfires and makes it difficult for people to understand.

Had a long time Thursday night taking It out she was still aggravated. I stayed calm though we didn't really get anywhere. I felt better letting her know how much she upset me.

Yesterday morning we still weren't talking she came to me (for a change) & said I didnt mean to be little your illness and admitted she does find it hard to understand. she said she realises I am unwell but that it is difficult for her feeling she has to tip toe around me. I said I feel the same like I'm always going trying to avoid an argument with her.

Surprisingly she said let's not fight about it, hugged me and said I don't want to go away for two weeks and have you still unhappy with me. So we just squashed it for the sake of a peaceful day lol. It was a weight off my shoulders.

Had a better day yesterday x

Thank you for your support it means a lot XXX shaunna

[mitziblue]

Shaunna, what a pretty name!!! Sweetheart it my help if this happens again to find the best info you can on fibro and give it to them and maybe seeing it in black and white it would help a little. I know it's still along way from really getting people to really get it, but it may be of some help. Hang in there sweetheart!!! I'm very proud of you!!! xxxx Mitzi

[msBrightside in reply to mitziblue]

Aw thank you very much

I did mention to her I wanted to give her more information on it she was not interested though she said she already knows about it. I said it's about understanding it.

I think its a great idea! I might try and give them all a talk or print out on it so she doesn't feel singled out. My dad and brother can be less than understanding at times too.

Thank you it will be worth it in the end xxxx

[mitziblue in reply to msBrightside]

I hope so sweetheart. It's not as though we like feeling this way. One never knows when they to could have a life altering illness or accident that changes how they live their lives. Maybe tell them " Hey what would you do if you were in a car wreck and couldn't walk any longer " how would that change your life? Well, I'm ill on the inside not the outside. Sorry it's invisible!!!! Hope they let up on you honey, as I'm very proud of your courage, most wouldn't even attempt so much. Hang in there and hopefully they'll get it!!! xxxx Mitzi

[msBrightside]

Exactly, I even said to her very sorry my illness has been such an inconvenience for you while we were arguing. I feel like people don't see past the end of their own nose sometimes. I just remind myself it's unlikely for people who haven't experienced it to understand and treasure the few that do have that rare compassion. I have a ton of friends but I'd say their is only about 3 that truly understand and take every effort to be there with me experiencing the highs and lows. It has been an eye opener it's made me realise who my true friends are.

Thank you its encouraging to hear that The support on here Is fabulous! There was a point on Wednesday I got soo upset and thought I can't do this. Think I just took what my sister said about going to college too seriously. Didn't help a few days before that my neighbour said the exact same in a caring way though. I'm studying just now and reminding myself how much I love it.

My nana brought me a massive casino keyboard she's never used. I've been playing away all day. That's encouraged me, the deal is I've to give her a lesson though.

Hoping they'll start realising think because I power through it makes me seem ok. They think oh if she was that bad she wouldn't do this or that. But I push myself to do everything even just getting the remote can be an effort though ha

Hope you had a good day

xxxxShaunna