trying not to have a panic attack , cry or worry

this morning i had the biggest panc attack felt like a knife in my chest and up in to my arm pit (had this before ) this was the stronght i've ever had couldn't breath hyperventilated .

managed to text a neighbour that came and helped got medical help , they've said i'm ok and to try and keep calm .

i'm having panic attacks because i'm not able to get hold of my daughter (she's at uni 300mils away and has depression and her heart beats to fast so i worry about her , she also gets abuse from one of her house mates which puts me on adge ) she normally text me loads but nothing (it was her birthday yesterday but nothing ) i know she's 18 and i shouldn't worry but with both are health problems i can't help it . i'm scared to death she's ill or he's hit or pushed her wish to god she'd text call or pick up her phone going mad here

this is just adding to the pain i'm already in

just trying to hang in there while crying my eyes out

21 Replies

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  • So sorry Tracy, are you saying your daughter is abused by a housemate and he might have hit her????

    Are you sure about this. No offence meant at all. If this is happening you need to do contact the uni or get your daughter to report it. Can she find somewhere else to live?

    Can you ring anyone else at the uni and ask about her?

    Sue

  • Tracie please get in touch with the uni she is at and they will find out for you . my heart goes out to you but we are all here for you . please let us know what happens . PLEASE RING THE UNI X

  • Tracy I have messaged your inbox

    xxxxx

  • Aw Tracy this is awful for you. Sounds like Sue has given you good advice, if all else fails I would ring the police. Hope you get in contact with her very soon and everything is fine with her. Please let us know what has happened as soon as you know. Easy to say try not to worry but how can you not. Take care, Angela xx

  • deffinately ring the university, you will make yourself even more ill with the stress and worry, you need to know if your daughter is safe. do it now!

    Irene x

  • if the uni cant help you phone the police x

  • Hi right please try to calm yourself down you need to keep calm so you can try and sort this out now the first thing to do is to call the universty and ask if someone there can go and checjk that all is okin her roomstell them why you are worried about her condition so they know your not jus phoning to see if she been drinking or something silly they may not take you seriosly if they thought tat

    if they can they may be able to tell you if she has attended her lectures

    also i would explain to them about the room mate situation too but not to let her know that they are aware of it as she would prob go nuts

    The thing is with mobiles they often get no signal in fact 1 hour ago i kepyt calling my partner and he had no signal an d same with my daughter who lives 30 mins away she had terrible signal until she bought a booster for 25 from vodafone her network

    if you have no luck with the univercity keep trying her phone and if there is no answer by 8pm i would call the polic eand explain what has happened and they may go check for you i would also text your daughter so if the signal has gone when it comes back she will know you are worried / is she on contract you could always call the company she is wirth and see if ther is a fault on the signal and ask them if she has used her phone in last few hours they may tell you

    she could have lost her phone but would have thought she would have told you and used a friends phone or a public phone

    there is probably a silly explanation and it doesnt matter how old they are 12/28/57 they are still your kids and you worry now please go sit down with a nice hot cup of tea and try to eat a little something too and go through the things i have said or anyone else has sai and please let us all know how you get on love to you diddle x

  • It doesn't matter how old she is, she's still your daughter . I worry about my son and he's 28 . He lives alone 120 miles away from me and has no landline and is terrible at replying to texts.

    So while you're bound to be worried, panicking isn't going to help.

    As has been suggested, phone the Uni and see if she's been attending lectures and if they can get a message to her asking her to ring you.

    If that doesn't work, phone the local police ( local to her ) and ask them if they can pop round and check she's ok . If you tell them she suffers from depression they will be more inclined to go round quickly.

    Hopefully she's fine and there is a good , logical reason why she hasn't been in touch ( gone out and left her mobile behind , got no signal/credit etc ).

    So try to stay calm and come back and let us know how she is when you reach her.

    Hugs

    xx

  • i ended up messaging the xxxx that does this to find out if she was ok , he let her message for a min ,

    she told me she had pain ripping at her chest and had passed out on the floor she callled for help and he walked away and told her to get it herself .

    he read what she wrote told her she was a fxxxxxx lier and pulled the laptop from her .(how can you leave someone like that)

    he knocked her and pulled her earring which she said was bleeding badly .

    she was going to try and go to hospital to get checked

    called uni amnd told them what going on , said they'd call her check she was ok , they made a note of what i said , said to keep trying her phone and get her away from him to .

    she called a few mins ago crying her eyes out saying i can't do this any more mum , told her to get out of there to go to the reception and tell them what going on that they can help her . he was having a go again she saud got to go. will call you back

    i just kept shouting get out of there get out of there

    going out of my mind here , what do i do next , she's so mad i called the uni , have i made this worse

  • No you haven't made it worse . This is assault and your daughter needs to get away from him.

    It's up to you of course , but if it was me I'd phone the police and ask them to intervene and I'd then phone the UNI and insist they do something . Is your daughter in campus accommodation ? If she is then the UNI has a responsibility to ensure her safety .

  • i agree with Helen...call the police and have him arrested for abuse and ring the uni to DEMAND action is taken NOW xx

  • Tracy, is this guy a house mate or a boyfriend? How long has he been abusing her in this way. Why is he abusing her.

    Don't want to upset you even more but would you mind putting some ******* rather than the f word. Sorry mate. Some people might be offended by it.

    Sue

  • sorry sue didn't even notice i'd put the * word

    the guy is a house mate and this has been going on for a few weeks from what i'm told .he wants her for *** and lend him lead him money , cook his food but the min she says something or does something he doesn't like it's kick of time

    uni have said they can't do anything on my say so , till they speak to her or she goes to them .

    have just spoke to her on the phone , she said she's safe next door trying to eat something , she's been checked by the hospital oh said she's ok and to go back if any more problems , she said sorry she was doing this to me and checked i was ok ( i collapsed this moring to with chest pain and coudn't breath) have asked her to keep in touch that if she doesn't want to talk to me thats fine but to massage someone ask them to let me know that she's ok , asked for her friends numbers to so if i hear nothing from her i can ask someone to check on her that she trusts

  • Thank goodness you have had contact with your Daughter, hopefully you can rest a little easier now.

    Take care

    Gentle hugs x x

  • Glad to hear she's ok Tracy but it can't carry on like this can it. Something has to be done. Think we can say *** sex :)

    Good thinking to ask for a friends phone number. It's a shame you can't get up there to her and talk to uni with her. Can you persuade her to talk to whoever she needs to talk to at the uni. What about the other house mates there, don't they stop this guy treating her like this?

    Sue

  • i'm praying that she'll talk the person from uni that said she's keep trying to get hold of her , going to try and message on of her tutor that she gets on well with and think she spoke about this guy to , maybe she can help to .

    just going to keep praying for the best and try my best to hang in there the best i can

    thank you to everyone for your help and for listening

  • hi tracey so glad you got to talk to her but this is a plice matter she has been abused an dsound like she is being held against her will at times the university should kick that person off the campus and his course he is not the sort of person who should be on there and if he is moved he will do it to someone else so i would call the uni again and tell them all this and she needs to go to the police and write a statement i would also tell the uni if they dnt do anything you will go to a higher place and it it will all be made public

    is ther any way you can go down thwre or is there any way the uni can let her home with course work she can do there for couple of weeks while all this is being sorted out i an sure she could be e mailed stuff so she wont fall behinfd i am so angry god knows how you must feel but he needs to be punished and that is down to ubni and police he sounds an awful very mixed up selfish bully

    i hate bullying in any way do you know my youngest who is 19 was bullied badly at primary school by one girl who live sround the corner from us even now and her fiend was bullied still and we went to the school who were useless so we went to the education office and got the girl moved from the class

    it was an awful time it is still in my head and makes me angry but i say to my daughter that girl will get her comuppance in life for what she done jus sit tight and watch but one day she will get punished in some way for that this was 13 years ago but it winds me up now sorry went off on one there lol

    any way you make sure you and daughter get this sorted please dont let this individual get away with this and let us know what happens love to you and your daughter you are not alone love diddle x

  • cant you get to her x

  • Hi Tracey.What an awful situation for you and your daughter.My daughter is 22 and I still worry about her.I have a tattoo that says "Just coz you got the power,that dont mean you got the right".(Its a Motorhead song). I think this applies to that nasty creep abusing your daughter. She needs to find the strength to get rid of him. Stand up and say "Y'know what? you're not doing this to me anymore." I wish you all the good luck in the world. Before they find a pill to cure Fibro and stuff, I wish they'd find a pill to cure bullies.x hugs

  • i've spoken to my daughter last night and today and she's said she doing ok .

    she's emailed one of her tutors (one she gets on well with ) and has made her awhere of what's been going on told her everything that happened yesterday .

    waiting to hear back .

    the uni sent someone from uni security to check on her made sure she was checked ut at the hospital and safe in the house , the guy was there as well as other house mates , the security guy made a point of saying to the guy i hope your taking care of this young lady ( daughter said the guy looked shocked by what the security guy had said , looked a little surprized ) she's a nice young lady and should be treated well . she's been told by security to go there or call if there is any trouble .

    she has sat down with house mates and the guy and drawn up some rules that the two of them are going to follow ( still think she should stay the **** away from him but i can't make her .

    they are going to try and be friends , if they are to hang out with each other its to be with others as much as possible if alone doors are to be kept open so everyone can hear and see what going on ( again i don't like any of this but what can i do )

    my daughter and one of her friends made a point of showing the guy the marks on her , he was shocked by what he'd done so they said but i;m not so sure .

    trouble with my daughter she likes to see the best in everything and give them another chance .

    he so much as looks at her funny and i find out i'll be back on that phone to the uni ,( i was told if i was worried at any tme to call them and i will )

  • People like that, dont change.He is a control freak. Its good that your daughter sees good in people, but she needs to recognise the bad too and not give them the chance to hurt her.If hes already done that, he'll probably do it again,in time. they are always "sorry" and say "i wont ever do that again". Is it possible for her to change Uni's? I wish I could do something to help,coz I cant stand to see people being treated wrong.I hope I havent alarmed you, but things like this go on all too often. She is taking the right steps making rules or boundries.I hope it turns out ok.I would fight for my daughter too coz i love her as much as you obviously love yours. Big Hugs, and dont forget, we're all your friends on here.please keep us updated

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