Doctor update

Was at doctor yesterday. Didn't want to go as i not much cope leaving house on my own . But anyway got my daughters car and went. Was absolutely scared stiff . Thought I was going to take a panic attack but didn't . The short side of this story is I am staying on vitin b12 tablets and iron another month then blood again and see what results say. Have had the offer of my gabapentin increased past 300mg 3 times a day and not sure what to do.

But also I spoke to her about the not wanting to leave house scenario and that I've had a few panic attacks during the night that have woke me up..... She offered psychologist and i said no. becaise I know I have to try and leave the house I also know I have to motivate myself more and get a hobbies or something . I told her that the last time I attended psychologist she made me feel 5 years old . So I wasn't going to go i would try and start leaving housing and mixing with people but to be honest she just kept saying you can't keep staying low u have to get yourself out there and promise to do a little bit everyday. I said know what she is saying but I was also trying to say look it isn't easy. I am in so much pain most days. Or my eyes hurt or noise is affecting me. Or my tummy in agony or I have a migraine and the heat is making me short of breath or my skin is dry and itchy . That there is always something that is making me feel crap.. But there is times when I just get up and go shopping and nobody would think there was anything wrong even myself . Till get home and sleep for 2 hours ..... But she just couldn't get what I was trying to say....... I want to be sociable. I want to go out every day. I want to go for long walks and not feel shattered afterwards. I want to have an appetite and get dressed up and do my hair and make up and look great . But in reality it never going to happen in my lifetime again.... And as caring as the doctor is trying to be I can't get her to I derstandhow terrifyingly is for me to leave house sometimes. And how crap I Anniston the times .... Help ? Any ideas ? And if i can't get my doctor to help me how do I manage to apply for pip and get ESA to allow me to stay on sick. I really am struggling here mates .... Big hugs and thanks for reading and any advice given xxx

10 Replies

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  • Hi I am so sorry about how you are feeling and I know how hard it is, I was diagnosed social agoraphobia for 10 years,and panicked every time I even thought about going out. If I had to go out I would look out my window check street clear run to car. I had all sorts of help but didn't work.I even worked from home. Then one day my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer and I was the only daughter and she really need me,it was hard the first time I took her to the hospital, but she was with me,each treatment each time it got easier to leave the house.

    By the time she died 8months I was able to mix with people and can now even go out with out a care.( That's when I am not in pain) so one day when you're ready u to can make that move lol.

    If you're doctor won't listen see another!

    Let me know how you are getting on and try not to get to worry that doesn't help your fibromyalgia, I am always here if you need to chat

    Trace x

  • thanks... i can go out. but not often. it like the mood will take me and i will go and then once i am out i am like i need home or i cope.. but most of the time it just going that is causing the problem. it so annoying because there is a lot i want to do but means leaving the house ...thank you xxx

  • Are there friends or family members who could go with you for very short trips as a support and then slowly make it longer and then doing the same but on your own. I would also for the time being (unless it is an absolute necessity not force youself to go out when you are feeling bad as even those of us with no problems with leaving the house can often not wait to get back to the house if we are feeling bad. If you do have a problem then you can mix up wanting to come back with fear rather than it being a rational decision because you are feeling ill.

    Have you any specific interests that you love that you could pursue as if you have a real purpose for going out that can also help. If I know I am going somewhere the next day I also prepare for it making sure everything is ready the night before, hair washed, makeup stuff and clothes out so I do not exhaust myself on the day and that seems to help immensely in coping.

    Build up your walking slowly. Unfortunately, we have to accept that perhaps hiking for holidays is out, I used to walk for hours but a slow amble can be very enjoyable and also gives you time to smell the roses, as they say. I think the panic attacks in the night might be related to being woken up suddenly by pain and being very disorientated by this which is only natural. Anyone suddenly woken up is not at their best. Try to slowly breathe when this happens and acknowledge what has probably led to it it might be less frightening.

    You might also feel weak when you go out if your iron and B vitamins are low as it can cause extreme fatigue and hopefully if these levels rise that will help.

    Good luck with everything please let us know how you are getting on.x

  • I had severe agrophobia a number of years ago and still have quite high anxieties but now I have the strategies that work for me that allow me to 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. Have you heard of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) ? I've had 3 or 4 different sets of sessions over the years but with the last one I had (3 years ago now) everything finally seemed to click in place. The things the therapist was talking about (actually, more what she got me to think aloud/talk about) and how she taught me that I can manage things myself. I know that you've already felt like a child with a psychologist but sometimes you need to try out different people to find what/who works best for you, below is what started to work for me, and it may or may not be helpful for you.

    Do you have a small local shop within walking distance for you? If you can manage the distance it'd be a good way to get out of the house (for a paper/magazine/bar of chocolate) but without the pressure of being out for a long amount of time. You need to be able to take 'baby steps' and build up to a longer time out of the house. Start as small as you need to - a 5 minute breath of fresh air standing outside your house, a walk to the end of your road, whatever is managable for you is important. Try once a week/once a day/whenever you feel you can again it needs to be completely managable for you as only you know what will be a reasonable challenge and what is too overwhelming to start with.

    I don't always post often on this forum but I do check it regularly so if you want a chat feel free to send me a message. *gentle hugs*

  • Hi

    I may be completely wrong here and it could just possibly be me, but I find that if I get really ill (for instance when I had pneumonia in May) I start to get very panicky.

    It seems the worse the physical illness is, the worse my anxiety attacks are. (This is completely apart from my Fibro pain).

    Sometimes I get to the front door and I literally cannot open the door through fear.

    I get very angry with myself when this happens because it is so illogical and I am a very logical person.

    My advice would be to set yourself some extremely small goals. For instance to leave the house say, every other day, and take a short walk somewhere.

    Don't punish yourself if you don't manage whatever your goal is, just accept that today you cannot manage it.

    Acceptance is amazing if you can manage it. You could get yourself a diary or notebook and write down your achievements and goals and concentrate on them.

    I know how hard it is. It may be worth seeing another psychologist. If you click with your counsellor they can be very helpful.

    You can apply for PIP and ESA without the support of your GP.

    Gentle hugs

    Lu xx

  • I am not scared of leaving the house i can take the dogs out the front no bother to the fields opposite house . I cant walk far so thwy run about chasing a ball and when my legs get really sore i go back upstairs . It just i cant summon up a reason to go out . I know i cant do shops . I am ok in the car but j dont even want to do that ... I do now and then just go ouf .. Shopping etc But it leas and less now ..... A fee year agoi couldnt do the shops etc at all ... I can handle it now . But in my time .. But yestwrday i was great until i was on my own and then when it came time to leave i was making sure nobody was outside but once i got in car i was ok tili got to docs .... I just feel silly ... It crazy ...

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that you are not feeling too well and I sincerely hope that you feel better soon. I want t genuinely wish you all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thanks Ken x

  • Hi audh this sounds a little bit of a mix. Agoraphobia/monophobia/depression (thank goodness I checked that autocorrect had put homophobia oops). Please try the psychologist again. I am not sure how long ago you tried them but they have all changed. They are now using a different therapy throughout the NHS called the mindfulness act. If you don't want to go through the doctor there is several on YouTube and I can recommend a book called the happiness trap by Dr Russ Harris. As for the financial side you can but try. Good luck x

  • Thank you ... And that made me laugh x

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