These are the last of the Cracker jokes, they are cracker jokes not because they are cracking good but like they came out of a cracker. Some of these I heard when I was at school and I am 64 now so they are not new.
What goes up but never comes down?Your Age
What did one wall say to the other?I’ll meet you at the corner
Why was six scared of seven?Because Seven Eight Nine
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?Up his Sleevies
How do snails keep their shells shiny?They use snail polish
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun?Sir
What bow can’t be untied?A Rainbow
Why are tall people the laziest?Because they lie in bed the longest
What is brown and sticky?A Stick
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?A Carrot
Where would you find a dog with no legs?Right where you left him
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the Guts
Why do birds fly south in winter?Because it’s to far to walk.
What’s the best way to stop food going bad?Eat it
Why do black sheep eat less than white sheep?Because there aren’t as many of them
What do you call a fish with no eyes?A Fish
Why would you invite a mushroom to your party?Because he’s a fungi to be with.
What goes ha, ha, ha, clonk?A man laughing his head off
What do you give a man who has everything?Antibiotics
Why is it so difficult to train a dog to dance?Because they have two left feet
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?To the baa-baa shop
Why does the golfer wear two pairs of socks?In case he gets a hole in one
Why did the thief take a bath?So he could make a clean getaway
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?A Woolly jumper
When is a door not a door?When it is a arjar
What did the letter say to the stamp?Stick to me and we will go places
Why did the teacher wear Sunglasses?Because his students were so bright
Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank?T check his balance
Why was the Egyptian boy confused?Because his daddy was a mummy
What did the Hat say to the scarf?You hang around while I go on ahead
What wobbles as it flies?A jellycopter
What do you get if you walk under a cow?A pat on the head
What bird id always out of breath?A Puffin
What is a frog’s favourite drink?Croaka cola.
Sorry about the spacing but it is great in word but just does not transfer well.
Take care and kindest regards
Terry
Ps. The x-ray shows an improvement but they still want to do a Bronchoscopy and get a biopsy. I don't mind so long as I am out or at least not with it when they do it as the thought of them going into the lung through my nose just does not make me look foreword to it.
The Rheumatologyst I saw today was a pig!!
