These are some silly jokes who's origin is probably a Christmas Cracker.
Why was the broom late? Because it overswept.
Which dog keeps the best time? A Watchdog
What lies at the bottom of the ocean an shivers? A nervous wreck
What do you call a surgeon with eight arms? A Doctorpus
What is fastest, hot or cold? Hot because you can catch cold
Why do gorillas have big noses? Because they have big fingers
What are the wettest animals? Reindeer
What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn? Where’s pop corn?
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A Stick
What do prisoners use to call one another? A Cell Phone
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? He had Mittens
Where does Tarzan buy his clothes? At the Jungle sale
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Clause? Claustrophobic
What ring is square? A Boxing Ring
That is enough for tonight (probably more than enough)
But you can wait for tomorrow for some more, exciting isn't it.
Take care and kindest regards
PS. go to hospital tomorrow to see if they can see what the shadow on my lung is, hopefully it will have gone with all the antibiotics and anti-coagulants they gave me.