Yes, it's that time of year again - sunshine, strawberries, picnics and summer fetes - and also a proliferation of all things creepy, crawly and hungry for my blood!
I was lying in bed yesterday at about 4am, listening to the seagulls screeching, and thinking of making a cup of tea, when I heard a different sound - much quieter, but infinitely more sinister.
'Eeeeeeeeee' it went 'Eeeeee-eeeeeee' - the unmistakable sound of a mosquito looking for breakfast
I was out of bed as fast as an old biddy like myself can manage, and unmindful of kindness to all living creatures, or the dangers of filling the environment with poisons, I sprayed my bedroom liberally with insecticide, leapt into the bathroom, and covered myself with midge repellant.
Alas, too late - I am now ornamented with large, red, itchy lumps - the critter got me!
Yours, clutching the calamine bottle