Hi All, been a bit quiet of late as haven't felt I've anything much to say but been following all the posts and chipping in now and again. Sorry to say that now I've put paw to keypad it's to have a whinge.
I've been doing much better of late. Keeping my head down, trying to get my head round the new diagnoses of fibro, osteopenia(and the resulting amazing shrinking woman phenomenon) and worsening scoliosis that has decided to twist my rib cage in a very sexy manner. Managed to damp down the rising panic with the help of the rheumy OT at the hospital and guided meditation/mindfulness training and hopefully talking to her next month about the possibility of some CBT. Don't know if it's starting a calcium and vit D supplement or adopting the 5:2 eating plan (or a combination of both) but I've had less pain, far less fog and hypersensitivity and generally been feeling much brighter. Also managed to shift 5lb! Big bonus as I adopted the eating plan because it's supposed to improve cognitive function and hoped it might also stop the weight rise that amitriptyline was causing, didn't think I'd actually start shifting the weight gain. Anyhoo, we had someone leave at work last month and her replacement doesn't start for another month so been chipping in and doing extra hours - mainly another killer ten hour day on a Monday instead of the usual 6-7. I very foolishly agreed to go in a further two afternoons this week as someone else was on holiday and they were very short staffed. Nobody else volunteered to work as much so beginning to think the "mug" tattoo I used to have on my forehead is suddenly visible again. Also fitted in a hydrotherapy session which leaves me pretty knackered. Usually go home and rest but this week dashes home and jumped in the bath (not literally you understand - more like flopped into bath like ageing wrinkly walrus) and then dashed off to work. Plan had been to go home and have a nice refreshing shower but my back was so sore I couldn't stand still for long enough to get wet 
Well yesterday it started up good and proper. First off my feet thought they'd like to act as if I was walking on daggers and then someone attached electrodes to my back. I must have looked a right sight hopping and staggering across the surgery and then intermittently jumping in my seat whenever they turned the current on! Today I feel as if I've slid back almost as far as I've come. Hurts to sit, hurts to lie down and barely the energy to stagger to loo and kettle. Just realised that sounds as if the two might be connected! Luckily not yet regressed so much that I'm using the one to fill the other but give it time! As for my mood - best not go there! Is nice and cloudy outside now but earlier was sunny and glorious but found myself scowling at the day for being so cheerful. Luckily I am on my own for much of the day so can scowl and grump to my heart's content. I know tomorrow will be better and I'll hopefully be able to get out and about, especially if daughter's expected hangover isn't too fearsome and Monday have managed to blag a couple of free tickets to see a new movie. Not sure it'll be quite my thing as promises gore, sex and suicidal references (such joy!) but is an adaptation of a teen book with 15 cert so shouldn't be too bad. And anyway, a free outing is a free outing. All I need do now is remember not to be such a pr*t in future and to say no a bit more often. Perhaps my fibro buddies can set up a rota to take it in turns to remind me xx
x
why do i feel so guilty for having fibro?
Why didn't I just have a shower!!!!
Its time to pay the piper
Acceptance that I have to change my job/career goals 
Hi. Cant believe I have found some support :-)
