Depressed

[JAN663]

I'm feeling depressed and done every day is a struggle no one even bother ring or check I'm ok so called friends dont bother anymore I've got no one hate this life

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Hello , I am more than sad too read your post , people really do not get the fact if they got a horrid condition how would they feel if it was the other way round☹️sometimes I would rather have my own company than have friends /people that are so shallow and thoughtless, we always talk here as we do get the day too day struggles, what are your family like ? anyone supportive and can give you some company?. Have you had a catch up lately with your doctor or practioner nurse about depression , I’ve been there more than once when I needed too let it all out and how Fibro can make us feel. May I ask do you take any medication for depression in order too help you. xx

[JAN663 in reply to Yassytina]

I have 2 brothers my eldest is the closest but he's got his own life lost both my parents I'm single now no kids I had loads of friends but none bother anymore yeah I take antidepressants my mood changes just wish I had someone talk to who understands thank you for messaging I just feel so isolated

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer in reply to JAN663]

I do get it , I can go from being smiley @happy ie when I see my little grandboys , but other days it’s feels like the worlds against you , that’s why I volunteer here too chat as we do understand 100% , do you have any Fibromaylia groups in your area? there s 2 near me that get together once a month ,also we have a community cafe that do coffees ,eats and lots of people go on their own for a chat , twice a week. Some days il just pop in the car and have a coffee on my own , I do not drive so far nowadays but sometimes it’s easier too pop out on my own , my favourite haunt is the garden centre the staff know me there 😉I have a.little walk too break the day up . My husband is good and does understand so he will give me space if i need it . I hope these friends never get a condition too change their live ☹️as they would wish they had supported you more, xx

[JAN663 in reply to Yassytina]

Thankyou

[Delilahmy]

hi JAN I’m so sad to hear you are in this place …. I think it’s a place many of us visit …. I’ve definately. Sending you a gentle hug …. And hoping this passes soon

[JAN663 in reply to Delilahmy]

Thankyou

[keokar]

Hi Jan, sending you a hello and a hug today. 🤗 I know how you feel, have moved to a new area, 2 years ago, with family, then after 25 years broke up with partner over infedlity, been pushed out home, had no home or friends and fibro, and been in housing home since Feb, which is weird, having new life and very lonely. Have days where get upset,but makes Illness worse, and don't make you feel good, so trying to make best of things. I have one friend who rings, but mostly people text, I think people forget how you feel, and wrapped up in own life's, so you end up feeling lost and lonely. Hope when you get a good day , just go out in fresh air and walk, find groups if around, go to cinema or take time for you, and do what's best for you. Sorry for rant, but hope friends and family come to realize, that you are there, need a talk or rant, and feel lonely as they haven't go the same things in there life, like you been going through. You can speak any time I will say hello if you ever want to. Take care. Karen. x

[JAN663 in reply to keokar]

Thankyou so much Karen going speak to someone today about my depression take care

[smiile]

How lovely that people have reached out to you about their own struggles with support and advice. Such a kind forum. Hope you get the help you are looking for today xx

[JAN663 in reply to smiile]

Thankyou yeah nice to no people understand

[Nipper11]

Hello Jan663.

There is an emotional side to all of us that's never very far away when things feel overwhelming 😔. The best thing to do is remember how you use to be and focus on little things you can change to help your mindset and body living with this illness.

First of all ask your GP to put you forward for the pain clinic they help you deal with mindset and pain and talk you through troubled times .

There are a few courses out there you doctor could put you forward too in understanding living with long term illness.

Go on line and look for talking therapist website you can complete the form on line and they will talk to you over a period of time to help you through this.

look at YouTube and start chair exercises to keep your body moving to lower pain levels.

do something which helps you focus on other projects and not your pain. Look at a hobby one that can make you relax. Be positive ✨️ when you can as you will get through this.

The biggest challenge for me was my mobility. my fibromyalgia took some of that away from me however I still walk with sticks and won't let this horrible illness take over me.

I do not talk to my friends about the way i struggle anymore because people stop listening 😒 at first this upset me and after having a talk with myself I decided I don’t need people to understand my world and my everyday emotions and struggles that's for me to understand to deal with them.

I can offen be with people around me but on my own and therefore totally understand your words of saddness.

Start your day with simple little things you can do. Plan you mindset to do something that makes you feel your achievements however small.

Do things that can relax you and keep your mind focused in your happiness and not your illness .

If possible go swimming or a bike ride 🤔 or a nice walk. If you could get yourself an cat or dog 🐕 or a bird 🐦 pets are better than friends. Or give your time to charity and look to help in there shops or help a animal rescue charity 😉. They are always grateful. A little bit of help goes a long way. Try not to think of yourself on your own as there are many others that would like to get to know you and play a part in your life . You just need to focus on stepping in to a new world for you . Take a step back from your illness and your feelings. Look in the mirror each day and smile 😃 because you are worth it.

There is so many Achievements you can gain ✨️ however, small steps will help you get there. Be kind to yourself. Get your nails painted or your hair done or a massage anything which make you feel good about yourself.

I not sure any of my suggestions will help you 🤔 but I hope some will . We all have these dark days and get through them and so will you . A bug hug 🫂 🤗 and we are always here if needed 💖 xx

[Dizzytwo Moderator in reply to Nipper11]

Thank you for a very helpful and thoughtful reply. Like you said nipper you don't know if your suggestions helped the OP but I know your reply helped lift me out of the doldrums today thank you xx

Momo

[Nipper11 in reply to Dizzytwo]

Bless you. Have a good day 😊 take care Dizzytwo xx

[JAN663 in reply to Nipper11]

Thankyou for your kind words yeah I'm going speak to someone about my depression

[Nipper11 in reply to JAN663]

That's great news your going to share your feelings and frustrations. 1st step for change. That's a very brave thing to talk . Go for it . Xx

[JAN663 in reply to Nipper11]

Thank you yeah I feel ready to tell someone how I'm feeling and get some help

[AllthatGlitters in reply to Nipper11]

Totally agree with the animal side. I would be lost without my Maine Coon 😻she adores me and I adore her. More reliable than any friend I have ever had x

[MaggieSylvie]

If you don't tell them - perhaps you don't stay in touch - they won't know how you are, and just like you, they may have their own problems, health and otherwise, so reach out to just one of them and tell them how you are feeling. You can't do more than that, I feel, other than to just get out there.

[JAN663 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thankyou

[Alecinthesun]

Hey, you have got us!😀 Sending you lots of love and gentle hugs xxx I know the feeling but people from time to time can be flawed, consumed with their own problems and their own self that they don't really see others, being healthy is just not enough for some people! There are lots of lovely people connecting on this forum so we can be there for each other xxx I am just wondering if getting a pet might help, I know it can be hard looking after another being when you are struggling, but animals give such unconditional love. I have seen self-cleaning cat litter trays, there might be a way? Comfort animals can help when you feel alone and unloved, they help me a lot when I am down and they don't judge you when your hair is a mess and you can't get dressed; they just look at you with pure love.

[JAN663 in reply to Alecinthesun]

Thanyou for all you kind words I'm going speak to a therapist tomorrow regarding how I feel I can't believe how many people I reached out to me offering support just like to thank you all

[JAN663 in reply to Alecinthesun]

Thank you for your kind words speaking to someone tomo regarding how I'm feeling

[Nipper11 in reply to JAN663]

So good to hear you are reaching out you deserve to get support and help you get through this journey. Keep talking. Always remember your never on your own because members in this group care about helping each other

where they can. Big hugs 🫂 🤗 xx

[Wobblygirl]

I've suffered with long term depression over the years and do understand...The sadness when it strikes and the lack of compassion from folk around is heartbreaking,I know...

Mine was from a different cause+I lost my profession... Now I have fibromyalgia I am living such a slow life but the slow pace has helped my depression!?! The agonies of fibro are quite hideous+so painful and existing independently is a constant struggle...

However, I look for the minutiae of life to bring me small pockets of joy nowadays, like a beautiful flower or insect as I walk just a short stroll... And the sky!

I know I sound like a PollyAnna but I've found changing my mindset has helped me survive...

I do daily TV and puzzles and hv 2cope w simple meals and enjoy deadheading as my only form of gardening! It's a small life+there's not a lot of excitement but I hv chosen to accept this style of living w fibro and low mood...

As my health frailties increase (I can't use my right arm anymore! So life is pretty limited!) I enjoy what I can+probably email a friend once a week+accept I won't probably hear from them for a few wks...

It's horrible waiting 4 a reply and obviously I know what the loneliness is like... I do try+keep my offerings light+airy+always enquire abt them too...

I can really empathise with all you're going through... And it really is the pits!!!

But try+think outside the painful box?

I now do a meet+greet sitting down voluntary job at my local museum. Only once a month but those 3hrs are enough!!!

And my GP has offered me to meet a social prescriber to check if there's any support out there??? I look forward to my appt this week. Maybe you could offload the reality of your life to yr GP to see if there's a social prescriber service available to you???

I'll let you know how my appt goes...

I'll probably cry a lot as no one ever wants to listen to me... I'm almost sure you feel the same?

I am fortunate enough to pay 4 a cleaner+a gardener now and that is a social interaction as well as the bonus of the work they do... I hope you can buy in some

essential services as it does help somewhat...

I did try Meals on Wheels but that's not 4 me!!! Made me feel bloody ancient too!

Please do let us know how you are, as this site is full of wonderful folk who understand and care and someone out there will definitely identify with any weird symptom you may have!!!

It's a wonderful community & I know I really do rely/enjoy the wide ranging contributions that truly can connect us...

Try and plan a simple task each day to provide some sort of achievement...

Sometimes a shower+wiping down the glass doors is the only achievement 4 me, just 2b clean+put on fresh clothes is fabulous??? Other days I can't even do that!

Today I'm going to an art film in the Community Centre (on the hottest day of the year! Yuk!!!) and hv planned my salad 4 tonight so I'm pleased with today!

Probably 2moro will be rather less constructive but we hv to hunt out the positives and keep facing forward...

Good luck my lovely take the v best of care of yourself as possible!

Wxx

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Wobblygirl]

I can relate to you. Today I have a hospital appointment and then on to visit my partner in the same hospital. I've had a shower (no glass or anything to wipe down) and I've got things I ought to do, but if driving for an hour and a half to and from the hospital, seeing my haematologist and then my partner, and then getting some food from a supermarket, that will be enough for me just for today. It wasn't just FM that robbed me of my profession - it was the spinal compression fractures. But I'm old. Nobody expects me to be working, though they are not surprised if I do some form of work.

Loose Women - they are my "friends", or my daily ones anyway.

[Africanmonkey]

I know how you are going on, I am just the same now. I am married and help my wife with her job as a carer but I end up doing all the work and then have to buy everything and pay all the bills so I have nothing left at the end of the month while she sends her money back home for her family

[Debsdelight72]

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo,Nooooooo and another just in-case,

JAN663,

You must know by now this evil piece of 💩💩💩 We call Fibro,(I call it a curse) just won't give you a break,

Your friends (🤨🤨🤨) are not your friends,

If they were a few would give you a great big HUG Here is one to keep you going

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Mine decided the 💩💩💩 sneaky way!

Hi Debs just wanted to see if you are coming to sing along and get drunk tomorrow because when your drunk you play silly beggars🤢🤢🤢🤢and everyone laughs at you,(not with you)

If you don't come it's gonna get hard to get this party started,(ooh a song pun not intended but I'll take it)

They used to tell me I was the sole of the party, Thank you kindly 🤪🤪🤪.very muchly

Most of them were work mates as well, So someone would be secretly recording me and show the rest of the depot, Oh well they would have a laugh, Bovvered? Bovered? Am I bovvered though? Yes I was bothered!

For people just want me there because to laugh at my antics? Hmmmm? I said why don't we all go for a sit down supper and chat? No? nobody?

So I'd agree ,only for me to be feeling awful the next day or not being able to get out of bed!

Sorry peeps It's a no show, I felt guilty for letting them down, I had to give up work so money was tight, Once a fortnight my Hubby would take me to a nice little country pub and sit and talk, Much better 😊, Two drinks and home, all around much better evening and felt fine (apart from normal Fibro stuff) The calls stopped coming and I was no fun anymore and i was just saying I was ill to get off going out or work!!!

Yeah that's what must have been it????? 🙄🙄 I'm not sure what peed me off the most? Texts not answered, Calls stopped, No face book group together chats and silly jokes ect ect,

It wasn't Fibro that took my so called friends away from me, But it was Fibro that showed me they were NOT my true friends in the first place, A true friend is asking, Are you okay? Do you need any groceries? Shall I come over for a chat and a brew?

Or you find more in a Fibro group who know exactly how you feel and will give you a boost just by saying Hi I hope you have a great day,

Which translates to, Hi I'm alive and ready to fight this 💩💩y curse another day and I'm not feeling great because we never do these days,I've had some medicine and I'm going to sit down while they get going, Perfect timing to have a brew (again) and called someone close to you and say,

Hi, have you got time for quick natter, The weather's great shall we go to where ever????

I am a recluse and haven't been out except for appointments, I'm working on it, 👍

It might not feel like it at the moment but you'll have some break through and AHA!! I'm strong and will not let Fibro win,

I really hope you see that you are never alone here you have your Fibro family and kick Fibros butt xxxx

Feel better soon and take care, Debs x

[fmlife in reply to Debsdelight72]

your so right

[klr31]

I think a lot of us feel this way and wish we had someone to talk to who would understand.

Karen

[Ineedadvice]

Hi, I don’t post often but your post made me feel like I’m not the only one that feels like you. It’s so difficult fibromyalgia and having to cope with mental health and several other health conditions, it never ends. I’m getting to the point where I am losing more and more ability and I’m only 52. I genuinely would be happy to message you but I’ve been on here a long time and not sure that’s allowed. There must be so many people with our condition and more, it would be good to have a place where people could help each other. I’m struggling to find groups to join as I feel inadequate.

Admin is there a group where we can all talk to one another on chat or something or if local meet for coffee.

This life is so lonely and you get scared to join groups incase you’re not able to keep up physically.

Just as a footnote, this heat is unbearable, does anyone agree. I feel like sleeping but can’t 🙄☺️

[fmlife]

hi Jan👋

its mind blowing what fm does to us, the only people ive found who understand totally are fm sufferers. and the furr, well perhaps he just likes the company, so pleased you reached out. its very isolating.

so what is your plan today, mine was to enjoy the heatwave, yet was wearing the thickest largest jumper had due to being so cold🤯