grief and pain

[Evietime]

l lost my husband 4 weeks ago before watching him

in the last stage of terminal cancer ,

The pain in my body is so much l have been

To the doctors who put my meds up .

I know some of this grief but l feel that this my fibromyalgia

[Gulfstream_Maggie]

So sorry to hear your sad news. Sending hugs your way.

Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. If you have to cry, cry; if you need to scream and shout then do it!

Grief is a strange animal and different for each one of us.

Remember - baby steps all the way. Time will help, I won’t say pain lessens, either physical or emotional, but it will become more manageable.

Look after yourself, we’re all here in this fibro community to listen when you need it.

🤗

[Smoothie2go in reply to Gulfstream_Maggie]

I lost my mom recently and this sparked off a terrible flare , had to take time off work the pain was so debilitating. I found that resting and just taking care of myself helped. Keep moving if you are able . Keeping that blood pumping always helps me,sitting causes me to hurt more. I realise that everyone is different. I tried to think of all the lovely, happy and precious times me and mom spent together. I know it’s hard but you have this forum that always offers love and support. You are not alone my lovely . Take care give your body and spirit time to heal. X

[Boardercolly in reply to Gulfstream_Maggie]

HI such a terrible time for you. I do send my love. We often do not realise how stress can affect us physically. I would suggest the IBS would flare up after such a time. Grief does affect conditions we have. For the IBS I have found that peppermint mint tea bags and peppermint capsules do help. They were both recommended by Doc. Do consider grief counselling and a visit to your GP.

[CheetieCat]

So sorry for your loss Evietime. You've probably been struggling for a long time caring and watching your husband go through the stages of terminal cancer. Your body is letting you know you need to rest and take care of you! Hope you have support close by when you need it. Take care & take time for you (((hugs)))

[Dinkie]

So sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband to cancer so know exactly what it feels like. Just listen to your body, some days will be better than others both from a fibro point of view and from the perspective of grief. Loss is universal but grief is unique to the person experiencing it. I found it would hit suddenly and I would sob (usually in the car when on my own for some reason) uncontrollably. I was told that time doesn't really heal but it does stem the flow of tears. Death is the last taboo and folk just don't know how to react and will often say something inappropriate or worse completely ignore you. Be tolerant and accept any help that is offered

Please just take one day at a time. Honestly you will eventually smile again and see beauty around you.

[Elaine200756]

Oh my goodness Evie, I am so sorry for your loss! Grief is horrible. Going through so much has probably triggered a fibromyalgia flare. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and, as Gulfstream-Maggie says, baby steps.

Last year my bestie lost her husband to cancer. She rang me from the hospital after they had just got his diagnosis, crying, and she said to me, "Elaine, he's dying! What am I going to do?" My response? "S.. t!... What you always do A, one step at a time".

Maybe you can make it for an hour at a time, 5 mins at a time. And some days 1 minute, 1 step at a time. Listen to your body and rest when you need to. Take care. With love and prayer, Elaine xx 💔

[welovespinach]

Hi EvietimeFirst can i offer my condolences, you and your husband's journey has taken great courage and drawn on a strength that has been giving and giving, with no time to rest and recover.

I have had a very similar journey and can say the pain is real both from grief and the physical. Having Fibro throwns in another dimension, as others have said, it really is one moment at a time, catch a breath and let your body be your guide, if its rest.. Then rest! Tears are likely the norm for a while, heartache will be longer and fibro is its own pain in the... B,

accept offers of help and support, rest and recoup when you need it, grief is a journey none of us want and navigation takes aslong as it needs... No pressure to be fixed by a certain date... Try Julia Samuel, podcasts have helped me not feel so alone on my journey.

Sending you much love and light

[Dizzytwo]

Sending you my sincere condolences. I can't add to the advice the other ladies have given. But please give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your loved one 😔

Momo

[Loobyloo1966]

I can't even imagine the sadness. No words can heal your pain but at least you know we are all here for you ♥️ xxx

[SweepSooty]

So sorry for your loss Evietime, I loss my mum to cancer last July and my pain has been off the scale ever since, I know it's meant to get easier with time but I don't think you really ever stop grieffing for someone you love so much. I do hope you are getting support and will find a way to get through each day that works best for you. Sending a hug

[Wordsearch1]

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss grief does affect fibromyalgia l lost a very lovely friend very suddenly a couple of months ago and my fibromyalgia flared up badly l understand how you are feeling and my thoughts are with you at this very difficult time take care 😘💞 xx

[Smilesalot]

Condolences on losing ur husband sweetie🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗Also I am really sorry that you're dealing with so much pain as well🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗Dawn😢🤗

[marguLIS]

I am truly sorry for you having to go through that, especially when you may be struggling yourself. You are braver than you know, but ask for help, support , a hug or a gin . Whatever you need. All I can do is send you a gentle, warm, loving hug. I wish you well on your journey. x

[Evietime in reply to marguLIS]

thankyou

[Lovecavatese]

I’ve just seen your post, and feel compelled to message you. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Life is so short, I hope you have people in your life to support you. Sending you my sympathy and hope that your fibromyalgia will abate quickly. Warm thoughts and hugs , take care of yourself and rest when you can. ❤️❤️❤️

[Sarahvit]

I am so sorry for your loss. Grieving most definitely will make the fibromyalgia worse. I lost my husband back in January of 22. I think I am still recovering from the loss. There is just so much to do after losing your husband. Just when I thought everything was done a piece of mail comes in with my husband’s name on it. I think there was something coming in today’s mail with my husband’s name on it according to the inform delivery email. Be gentle on yourself and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Gentle hugs. 💔🙏🏼❤️‍🩹🤗💖

[KimiJay]

So very sorry for your loss and the pain of it. Blessings and gentle hugs. xx

[Evietime in reply to KimiJay]

Thankyou

[Evietime in reply to KimiJay]

thankyou

[Evietime in reply to KimiJay]

thank you

[Debsdelight72]

Holy💩 Evietime,

So sorry for your loss, please tell me he went with you and family at his side? Sorry if that sounds a bit nosy and grim, I'm just asking because I wanted you all to say goodbye and the important love shared at this time has been expressed

You are at a stage where you MUST grieve the process, people say, It gets easier over time? I'm sorry to say it won't, But you will learn how to cope with it, If people ask how can they help, tell them, Even if it's to go and milk,

I know it sounds daft but trust me it does help (and you have milk)

I was told my Nana and Gramps passed, after their funeral, I was gutted😢 I still talk to them and sometimes I'm sure they listen,

Two months later we had a call to say Hubby's Mum was in the hospital, We arranged for time off at work and animals looked after, We were a four hour drive away, We were an hour away and got the call to say she had gone, That just floored us, I showed Hubby he could still say See you later, Thank god she just looked like she was having a kip,

A year later!

Yes you guessed it, Thankfully we got to spend some quality time with him before he passed away too.

(Thank goodness we don't drink or smoke anymore.)

We still find ourselves laughing and joking about their antics they got up to, It's been over 10 years now and we don't wake up upset because they are not around anymore,

I wish you such love and understanding (gentle) hugs please accept them for the hard times and the manner I give to you,

Take care

Debs x

[Evietime in reply to Debsdelight72]

We was with him ,miss him every day xxx

[Debsdelight72 in reply to Evietime]

Of course and thank you,

You know that once a member of the Fibro family, It's a ticket to, No matter how small you think something is or you need comfort We are here xx

[honeybug]

Hi Evietime 😊🌿🌸🦋

🥀🌿🥀🌿🥀🌿🥀🌿🥀🌿🥀🌿🥀

So very sorry to hear about your loss. I just said a special prayer for you sweetie. Please take care sending you comforting hugs.

Love and prayers

EvaJo/aka EJ 😊🤗♥️🥰🙏🕊🌿🌸🦋

[Nitrostar207]

So sorry to hear your extremely sad news. Be kind to yourself, grief comes in waves and they can have such a colossal effect on your Fibro, try to do some mindfulness colouring, this can help to take your mind off the things going on around you, or go for a walk, if you can manage that. Sending you big ((hugs)) 🙏take care and look after yourself first.

[Debsdelight72]

Hey Evietime,

Just checking in really and hoping your getting your rest and people are helping with your grief and Fibro, I hope you also have support around you and I send you love and kindness,

Take care

Debs

[Joblogg]

I am sorry for your loss and really feel for you it is so early . I lost my dad in oct last year and today has been a flare up of the fibromyalgia. I know it is still grief related . I am still crying every day . I hope you can find relief with analgesics, and a controlled dose will help . God bless to you and take care xxxxxxx