Need help staying motivated. WWYD?

[SnowRuby]

Hi all,

I have been browsing this forum for a while now and I am SO thankful for you all. I am not ready to give up my "journey" but I need help staying motivated.

I'm 41, have secondary unexplained infertility and have done 4 rounds of egg retrievals in the last year.

1st round - 3 eggs retrieved, 2 didn't develop past day 5, 1 is frozen (PGTA inconclusive)

2nd round - was a back to back cycle, no eggs retrieved

3rd round - ICSI - 6 eggs retrieved, 3 didn't fertilise, 3 fertilised, 2 not suitable for biopsy or transfer, 1 didn't develop

4th round - ICSI - 5 eggs retrieved, 4 not mature enough to fertilise, 1 which did didn't make it past day 5.

Since had a HyCosy - all fine. On probiotics, omega, Vit D, 75mg aspirin, CoQ10, prenatal. Acupuncture every week. In the 2 months where we tried naturally, I contracted a UTI so ended up on antibiotics.

We have decided to change clinics and the second clinic has said that AMH has increased from 7.9pmol/l to 12.3pmol/l in the last year. Sperm analysis was done early 2024 came back normal and new clinic hasn't suggested retesting. Endometrium lining has been on the thinner side at around 6-7mm, I think (my period only lasts 2-3 days). New clinic recommends short antagonist protocol using Pergoveris stimulation, also oestrogen priming and a fresh transfer instead of PGTA testing. DR also suggested doing a FET on the inconclusive embryo, so I think we will do that first before further treatment?

I am also going through a bereavement at the moment so struggling with grief in addition to the grief of these 4 rounds.

If you are still reading, thank you. My question is What Would You Do? And how do I stay motivated?

[Bobby_39]

My goodness, I’m sorry that you have been through so much and now a bereavement on top. That’s a huge amount to cope with and you must look after yourself.

I think you know in your gut what the right decision for you personally is (at least that is how I’ve navigated my journey!) so trust your gut and follow that. It’s so easy to get caught up in lots of different and conflicting opinions on this rollercoaster and you lose your own compass.

It sounds as though you get a decent number of eggs but quality is the challenge, so if I were in your shoes I’d prioritise my mental health and the immediate grief of bereavement first, and then maybe take the leap and transfer the frozen embryo once I’m feeling stronger and ready to cope. You don’t want to layer more stress onto what is already a difficult time for you.

Then once you know if that has worked or not, consider your next move and whether you want to do another EC with a new clinic. So one step at a time.

I hope that helps, good luck and keep us posted xx

[SnowRuby in reply to Bobby_39]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. One step at a time, this will be my new mantra xx

[Vassi]

Sending you love and prayers right now, you've been through a lot and it's totally understandable to be feeling this way.It sounds like you're on the right track with your new clinic. I'd look at doing the fet first but there is nothing wrong with taking a short break right now until you're feeling better. I promise it will do you a world of good and you will find your motivation again. Allow yourself a bit of time.

Wishing you all the best xx

[SnowRuby in reply to Vassi]

Thank you xx

[Amethyst5]

Hi Snow Ruby,

So sorry you are going through so much. There are so many difficult decisions to make on this journey and so much pressure to make the right one. Do what feels right for you. It’s totally understandable when you’ve been through so much that motivation is a struggle. I paused my treatment for a couple of months here and there when I felt it was getting too stressful for some serious self care time and it really helped me navigate through it. When I got overwhelmed I almost had to allow myself to turn away from it for a bit and fill myself up so I could be strong enough to face it again. IVF is such a relentless and exhausting process even when things in the rest of your life are relatively good. Whatever you decide to do please take some time to grieve and nurture yourself, go for massages, walks in nature, good food, whatever relaxes you and you find the most enjoyment and solace in. You’ll get there. Take care and the very best of luck to you💝x

[SnowRuby in reply to Amethyst5]

This has helped so much, thank you. Currently taking a break by the sea to fill my cup xx

[Rox28]

I've had 4 fresh transfers, 1 frozen and 1 cancelled before egg collection as only had 4 follicles. 2 of those I got positive but were chemical so didn't work. It's literally trial and error. Deffo take time to make sure you feel a bit better, I wouldn't go into a transfer if you don't feel good as you wanna be as best as you can be physically & mentally. Personally, I always bleed before the end of the 2ww when I do fresh, the prev one I thought I'll give it another go because the consultant said it shouldn't be any less chance than frozen but I bled from 4dp til I stopped the progesterone on day 11 so never again for me, sticking to frozen.

[SnowRuby in reply to Rox28]

Thank you xx