miscarriage 11-12 weeks

Hi

on here for advice moving forward and reassurance.

Been feeling very low after my missed miscarriage at 11-12 weeks. Was having weekly scan at my hospital. It was an IVF pregnancy (2 untested embryos) of which one took. Had clexane, Prednisolone, lubion (after transfer as level was low at 20 on day of transfer) cyclogest, Estrelle solo.

NIPT at 10 weeks came back low risk but at the private clinic they spotted in an otherwise normal looking fetus, fetal tachycardia of 200. Which worried me and that the baby was measuring two days behind on scan.

At my booking appointment, mentioned this to the midwife who sent my bloods off and my TSH was slightly low at 0.6 and thyroxine level upper limit of normal. I stopped the levothyroxine (25mcg), started before my ivf cycles a year earlier as TSH was 3.5.

I have a known fibroid, initially thought to be subserosal and quite big 8cm pretransfer. But consultant did hysteroscopy before transfer and was happy that the fibroid was not affecting the cavity.

Scan post medical management shows I have passed products but fibroid has decreased in size from 12.5 cm @ 11 weeks to 7cm, however it looks more like it is intramural and is abutting endometrial cavity. Transfer of embryos was tricky!

Had to have two lots of medication for miscarriage as consultant didn’t want to do D&C worried about uterine perforation, haemorrhage and ashermanns syndrome.

Now awaiting MRI scan and myomectomy before I transfer one of my three day 3 embryos. Which at my age of 43, I find hard to believe will work. The embryos transferred in April were day 5s 4cc and 3bb.

Will also be seen in clinic for thrombophilia screen before any planned transfers in the future. As this pregnancy was plagued by bleeding at 5, 6 and 8 weeks and subchoronic haematoma.

Feeling very low, was meant to be half way through pregnancy on my 44th birthday.

Instead I will be attending a cremation service along with all the other parents who have lost their water babies too soon.

sorry if I’ve waffled, I think it’s because how sad I feel.

[Elmo13]

Hi there,

Just read this and couldn’t move on without messaging. Wanted to say I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know what an awfully sad time this must be having had a missed miscarriage at 8 wks and a spontaneous miscarriage at 6-7 weeks. I’m a similar age to you also.

I know everybody’s situation is different but from my own personal experience, as dark as things feel now, it will get better- even though it will always hurt a bit I guess.

You’re going through so much and it’s a lot to deal with both physically and mentally. I hope you’ve got the support around you to slowly rebuild and regain your strength.

Sending love. X

[Hidden in reply to Elmo13]

Thanks Elmo13. My heart feels very heavy. I have a lot of support, it still feels like a lonely journey. I know with time I come to terms with the loss and grief. Atm it still feels very raw. I’m sure you understand the pain. I hope it works out for you too. This journey is a rollercoaster

[Fruitandflowers]

I'm so sorry. I had to have D&C earlier this year when I was about 9 weeks after an fresh transfer and although I knew from really early on that it wasn't looking good, my body didn't recognise anything was wrong and the doctors were very reluctant to do anything. The whole process was pretty traumatic and the scans and waiting felt never ending, and having wanted the pregnancy so much I went to just wanting it all to be over. The hormonal, emotional and physical effects were pretty massive and I kept randomly bursting into tears for weeks after and I felt absolutely bereft and empty all the time. I couldn't imagine it at the time but once the hormones had settled and the physical effects had gone I did start to feel normal again. I'm about to have a FET and am trying to be really positive and hopeful. So whilst it's dark now and these things do scar, you will feel better and can try again when and if you feel ready x

[Hidden]

hi Fruitandflowers

Thanks for your lovely msg. It’s so painful and traumatic as you say. I’m also randomly bursting into tears heading back to work on Thursday. I have been in sick leave for the pregnancy due to the bleeding. Was hoping to be able to share good news but now just hoping that I manage to keep it together and not burst into tears if someone asks me where I’ve been. Only my managers and a few close colleagues were aware of the pregnancy. I wish you all the best with your FET x

[Fruitandflowers in reply to Hidden]

Yep, we'd started to tell a few people as I show very early and get terrible morning sickness, and because I have a little girl from my last transfer I thought maybe we'd cracked it and would be fine... the 'untelling' people was quite hard. But everyone has been amazing and although it goes against my nature, as soon as you share, the number of people (men and women) who open up with their own stories has been very comforting, or cathartic. Cry away, everyone understands x

[Cinderella5]

Oh my love, there are no real words....not really.😪 My heart breaks reading your post and for your loss.💔 I don't come here very often now but I wanted to say that your are in a well supported community. Feeling low as you say is I'm sure an understatement....huge hugs.xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks Cinderella5

The grief has been all consuming. Then waiting to see if I’d passed the products seemed to further complicate matters. Atm I feel like i’m just existing and not able to enjoy the things I did before. I’m trying to be kind to myself and patient. Work has been very understanding.

Thanks for your msg. Support from guys on here has been a big help.

[Alwaysbelieving]

I’m so sorry to read you post. Sending so much love and strength your way 🤍🤍🤍 x

[flamingopher]

sending big hugs, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must take a lot of strength.

I just wanted to say don’t discount your day 3 embryos, I had very low yields with only one to transfer each round and both my day 5s ended in chemical pregnancies, while my last ditch last chance day 3 is now a beautiful 6 month old little boy.

Wishing you the best for your journey xx

[Hidden in reply to flamingopher]

Oh your story @flamingopher has given me hope. I have to wait three months after myomectomy before I can transfer. Including waiting for MRI scan and then consultation with surgeon and then be listed. I really wanted this baby but unfortunately it wasn’t to be. I suppose this time will help with healing both physically and mentally. The last few months have been a real rollercoaster so it might be good to have to have this break.

[Orangeflowers]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm hoping the future gets brighter for you. Those frozens should give you hope x

[Hidden in reply to Orangeflowers]

Hi Orangeflowers

Thanks so much. Your words give me comfort during this difficult time.

[Sandydaiz]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the devastation only too well. I wish you so much luck with your next transfer. Sounds like you are in good hands with your medical team.x

[Hidden]

Thanks Sandydaiz. Not a club anyone wants to be part of. Medical team have been very supportive. I wish I had insisted on having the fibroid removed before the transfer in April. Anyway, what’s done is done now.

[Angie_uk]

hey there I’m so sorry about your loss. It’s devastating and I’ve been there as had a natural 6 week miscarriage age 39 and again natural missed miscarriage age 41 at 11 weeks. I did IVF after that (3 cycles) but it hasn’t worked. I did my own research and asked for and paid for a thrombophillia screen to find out I’m a MTHFR gene carrier. It can increase chances of miscarriage and I’m now on extra folate only prescribed by a doctor. I think if you have frozens left and u can afford it do extra testing and rule stuff out. At our age we can’t do much about egg quality but these other factors should be ruled out. I also think the fact you have some eggs is such a hope! I have none banked as only managed to get 1 egg but the PGTA showed its not viable 😢 I know it’s hard to see after your loss but you are in a fortunate position if you can work on a few more things to increase your chances and try again 😊. Good luck 🤞🏼

[Hidden in reply to Angie_uk]

Hi Angie_uk

Thanks for the advice. I’m sorry to read about your losses too- it’s heartbreaking. We didn’t PGTA as recommended by the clinic. And with day 3 embryos I’m going in blindly again. I’m not sure I could go through another miscarriage. I’m sorry to hear that IVF cycles didn’t work. It’s really draining physically, mentally and financially too.

I was taking 5mg folic acid as I was on steroids. Perhaps I need to be on folate instead. Have to wait 6 weeks post miscarriage before they will do bloods. But I will definitely enquire about this when I see my consultant.

Wishing you all the best on your journey. One thing I’ve realised is that we are all warriors.

[Citizenerased83]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. It is utterly heartbreaking and the grief can be all consuming. I had two miscarriages, three months apart from each other so understand your sadness. I really hope it works out for you and you have a baby soon. Sending you lots of hugs. Be gentle on yourself. Xx

[Hidden]

Thanks for your heartfelt msg . I’m sorry to hear of your heartache too. Wishing you a baby soon aswell

[Axel131]

Hi Ms_here, I'm so very sorry that you're going through this loss and trauma, it's just awful and although you feel you're only existing now, it's all part of the grief process and there is eventually another side of where you won't feel all consumed by it, so just hold onto that in your dark days. I wanted to say two things, I've been pregnant twice with thyroid levels like that and it was fine. My TSH is very low due to the meds I'm on and the T4 is always mid to upper level so don't stress too much about that. I also got pregnant with a day 3 at 43 and he was a chromosomally normal boy. Sadly he passed after birth due to a genetic condition that I carry but that's completely random and specific to me, otherwise he would have been perfectly healthy so definitely a chance for yours. Hoping you can get through this time as best as you can xx

[Hidden in reply to Axel131]

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss Axel131

Thanks for the reassurance about the Thyroid function tests. I’m having blood repeated soon to check my levels.

My grief come in waves now. Just as I feel ok, suddenly the tears start coming and I’m so sad. I know that it will take time and I will get through this.

Take care and I wish you well.