Miscarriage at 12 weeks : I haven’t... - Fertility Network UK

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Miscarriage at 12 weeks

JenKath profile image
12 Replies

I haven’t posted for a while as I was lucky enough to get my first ever BFP in September. Things were going well until 9 weeks when I had a bleed and was diagnosed with a subchorionic haematoma but the doctors reassured us that is was common and would resolve itself but I would have more bleeding. I bled on and off for a few weeks, we had a scan at 10wks3 days and all was good. We did the harmony test and found out we were expecting a baby girl (I have genetic issues that could pass on to a boy so we were overjoyed that the baby wouldn’t be affected) and she had low risk of abnormalities. At 11 weeks 5 days I had painful cramps and passed clots so we went back to the EPU for reassurance but were told that there was no longer a baby. We left completely shocked and felt so unprepared for this outcome. The doctors said I would cramp and bleed and pass clots but that it was normal with a SCH.

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else has had a similar experience and if they ever discovered the reason for the miscarriage? I don’t seem to be able to find anyone else with similar experience and I guess I just want to be reassured and wonder if someone has had this experience but then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy? We are hoping to start our third IVF round when we are ready.

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JenKath
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12 Replies
WeeJacs profile image
WeeJacs

Didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry, my situation is slightly similar. I've had 2 miscarriages so I totally understand the heartbreak you are going through at the moment. We decided to have medical management with the 2nd then went on holiday to try and clear our heads. You will get stronger, but it takes time. Look after each other it can be a lonely road, big hugs xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I’m so sorry for your loss xx

MrsAdzee profile image
MrsAdzee

So very sorry for your loss, it’s heartbreaking xxx

Neechi profile image
Neechi

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience, also diagnosed at 9 weeks. I was put on bedrest, but my water broke at 19 weeks. I was put on strict bedrest and admitted to the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy. My daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks, 11 years ago now. The doctors said that the continual bleed irritated the sack and caused the rupture. He said that this is a freak occurance and that I am not at any more risk than anyone else having it occur in subsequent pregnancies.

The loss tore my relationship apart(for the best), so me and that partner did not try again. I have since married my wonderful husband, TTC for 7 years now with MFI. We just had our first fresh transfer today. Hoping that the dr was right about the risk of it happening again.

Hopefully that helps a bit, I know how hopeless one can feel when you feel like your body betrayed you.

Take care of yourself, and be sure to allow yourself to feel your grief. If you need someone to listen, I am here. You are in my thoughts. xo

Missy_22 profile image
Missy_22

I am sorry for this. Your post has really upset as it hit home for me.

In my second ivf we had twins and lots of bleeding. We lost a twin at ten weeks then we had a massive sub haematoma as well. Sadly we lost our girl at 23 weeks. They said bleeding was normal etc but no reason why it happened sadly. I was told it was bad luck and to try again.

We want to start our 6th ivf soon.

Good luck to you xx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot offer you any advice but wish you and your partner the very best of luck moving forward xx

Kathryn1984 profile image
Kathryn1984

I pretty much had exactly the same situation as you. If you check my old posts you’ll see. I bled from 7 weeks. Had two scans where “everything was fine”. Told I had a Hematoma, told it would be ok. Then it progressed to passing clots etc like you, had an ultrasound sound and was told there was no pregnancy left. This happened in April this year and it has been the worst experience of my life. I asked them why I got a SCH? No one could tell me. I asked if the SCH caused the miscarriage, again no one could tell me. I researched like crazy, to no avail. I begged my doctor to test me for thrombaphilla, which they don’t normally do until 3 miscarriages. But I thought that it could be that due to blood clotting. Results came back that I didn’t have it. I got blood test afte blood test. I shouted and screamed. There was no answer anywhere. I have an under active thyroid, I asked war it that? My doctor said no. My thyroid was well medicated and my thyroid hormones where under control.

What I found hardest was the rollercoaster of it ok, no it’s not, it’s ok again, no it’s not. It’s been awful.

Also, whenever someone on here gets a bleed in early pregnancy and they go on for it to be ok, I’m happy for them, but I end up feeling like I was the unlucky one where it didn’t go ok, bleeding for me meant miscarriage, and it wasn’t ok. It really hurts, I’m still not ok mentally, I have good days and bad, but I think I’ll always care the sorrow with me. I feel a physical pain inside, like a hole in my chest, all the time. I think it will only be healed if I manage to have a baby.

I just wanted to reach out and share my story as it’s so similar to yours. I hope you’re getting loved and looked after. The grief is a process, and a journey, and I don’t think we ever get over it, just learn to get on with life carrying it with us.

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

No advice but didnt want to read and run. Im so terribly sorry for your loss!xx

silverlini profile image
silverlini

So sorry to hear this 😔💗

Elynn profile image
Elynn

So sorry you are going through this heartbreak...no words just big hug.

ChristineB05 profile image
ChristineB05

I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing worse than being unprepared and blind sided by such an outcome. I too had my first BFP in July unfortunately I had a blighted ovum and had a D&C at 8 weeks. They tested and I was told it was a boy and there was no reason as to why this occurred such as chromosomal abnormalities.

Thinking of you during this period. Take care of yourself 💗💗

sandra788 profile image
sandra788

Thank you so much for all these comforting words. It was so hard going through mc. And I am so sorry for your losses too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish there’s no more woman who would loss a baby. It is so painful emotionally & physically. I know there is no word that we can offer you for comfort. But knowing that you are not alone... You're in my prayers & in my thoughts. I can see that you are strong women to go through with this. Take care of yourself. I just wish that my sisters were here with me but they are so far from where I am. I don’t have any relative that I can talk to. So I keep reading your comments here and find it so helpful. Thank you so much.

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