Trying for sibling - same plan didn’t work, miscarriage again!

[SCHNOW]

As we still have 2 PGS tested embryos on freeze, we would like to try a sibling for our son. I followed the same plans that I had my son - same doctors, same immunology treatment plan. I had positive pregnancy test 2 weeks after transfer, I thought it would be ok this time as we already had a successful case. However, when I went for the 7 weeks scan, doctor told me the yolk sack was much smaller than 7 weeks and was empty. It is my 3rd miscarriage, same as the previous 2 miscarriages which never heard heartbeat. Now I realize that we are so lucky to have my son because it might not be successful. It is really a hard rocket science for some people.

The doctor asked me to wait for another 10 days to confirm the miscarriage. I know there is no hope this time and just wait for the D&C to get it over asap.

All the ivf warriors, how long do you rest after a miscarriage before you start a new FET?

[Nenad]

hi there, I’m really sorry about your miscarriage, it’s really hard.

I usually like to wait for a period after a miscarriage then get into an FET the following cycle, so basically the 2nd cycle after a miscarriage. This is to ensure things are back to normal and your body is reset and ready for treatment.

hope you have support around you xx

[Twiglet2]

I’m so so sorry we had similar in October, our 3rd miscarriage too and it did make me look at my son with even more awe and gratitude than ever before, he really is a miracle!!

After our scans finally confirmed it all at about 9-10 weeks I had the miscarriage naturally at home and my periods returned to normal the following month (November) so I called up with this period now in December as I feel ready 2 months later (they can’t fit me in though until March which is annoying!! ) But I feel ready to go again next month so about 3 months after hearing the rubbish news and having the miscarriage for me. I hope you heal physically soon and have people to lean on emotionally especially at this time of year xx

[SCHNOW in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you for your message, good to know someone has the similar situation as me. Before this failed FET, all my family and myself thought - it should work because it worked before. But the reality is not that! Mentally I am ok as I already have one kid so we are not that desperate as before having my son. So I think I will start the new FET as soon as my body is ready after D&C.

[SCHNOW in reply to Twiglet2]

Hope it will work for both of us next time. All the best !

[Fruitandflowers]

I'm sorry, I also felt like because it had worked once I would have less trouble the next time, but the next round I did (for banking) was a disaster and the fresh transfer of the one egg we got ended in PUL and D&C around 10 weeks. I wish they'd let me have the surgery sooner as it was obvious from the very beginning it wasn't viable and I ended up very unwell and in urgent surgery. Then I had my first BFN on a FET following exactly the same protocol as I did in my successful transfer, which was a massive blow to my fragile confidence in the whole 'it's worked once theory'. In terms of waiting, I think it depends on how the miscarriage is managed and your recovery - if natural and no complications I guess as soon as your period after the miscarriage would be a starting point, but my clinic wanted at least one more ntural period to make sure everything was ok. Whereas on two prior losses at much earlier stages I was able to go again on the next natural period, and one of them is my LG, so I know you technically don't have to wait if you're recovered. That's all the physical side, and a massive additional consideration is your mental health and are you ready, plus will you beat yourself up for doing it early if it doesn't work, even if the reality is that it probably made no difference and so is it better to wait a month for that sake.

[SCHNOW in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Yes, all my family and myself have the same thought - it should work because it worked before. Such a shock this time. I wish I could have D&C early this time but due to Xmas holiday and ivf clinic insisted me to wait 10 days more to confirm the miscarriage. It will drag the miscarriage from week 7 to week 10. I hope we all can have some good news next time. All the best to you!

[Leesalou]

sending hugs,

We tried for a sibling for my son,

We had 3 frozen embryos

1st frostie was unsuccessful we did in October 22 , we left it so long as I wasn't sure I could cope with another failed one, but something told me they was there for a reason, so we decided to do another.

2nd we did in January 23 which was successful but unfortunately ended up in a miscarriage at 8 weeks , we was crushed it was over my son and my birthday, it was the longest mc ever, it broke me but I had one frostie left and thought it must be the one, after further test Saline scan we decided to do the final frostie ,

Which we did in sept 23 and it was unsuccessful.

I don't think I'll ever get over the 2nd frostie the miscarriage as I just felt why positive then to cruelly be taken away, and why did I have the 3 for them all to be nothing,

I'll always be forever grateful for my som who's be 6 in March , who wants a sibling more than anything, and I'd love to give him that but looks like we won't,

If we had the money then we would try one last go with a fresh but I'm 40 soon to be 41, so not really got much chance,

We did look into adopting but unfortunately as we have no spare room we aren't considered.

But I feel like we are missing a piece to our jigsaw. And that our journey isn't over, We shall see,

So we left ours long time in between that was mainly down to me not sure if we should do it, in hindsight we should of maybe done it earlier but we was happy and content until we had to decided what to do with the frozen embryos.

Wish you lots of luck and baby dust for when you do your next cycle

X

[SCHNOW in reply to Leesalou]

Thank you so much for your time to reply me. I also discussed with my husband about the 3rd one could not work etc. I am 40 this year so the immune treatment might not work the same as I was 37. We couldn’t do it early as my son is just about 2 and I had c section etc. This is the earliest time we can try the sibling. We all think as long as we have tried our best to transfer all the rest embryos then we don’t have any regrets. When my son asks us why he doesn’t have sibling we can reply we tried our best but it didn’t work. This will be his first lesson for life is not always going as planned but the most important thing is do not leave any regrets. We also don’t think it is realistic to do another fresh cycle after 40s as the chance is quite low plus the time and cost spend. It is still good to be single child and I am sure your son will understand his mum is brave and tried her best to have a sibling for him. Lots of hugs.