Starting our fertility journey

Hi everyone. It's taken me a little while to post anything on here, but have really started to rely on seeing people's journeys progress! Here's a little bit about me...

I'm 29, me and hubby have been ttc for over 2 years. It's been a rollercoaster as hubby rapidly became very ill within the first year and was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Once he got better and was in remission, we then found out his rheumatoid has caused antisperm antibodies (100% bound in the first analysis!) so ICSI is our only option. Then I have PCOS which seems relatively under control, I have pretty frequent cycles unless I'm stressed! I've had a battle through the past few years to lose 6.5 stone to be eligible, but could do with another stone. Problem is my body has decided to stay put on the weight front! We have had our initial consultation, and have our Consenting appointment next week. I'm having a short protocol as my AMH is high (42,no idea how high this is?!), injections get delivered tomorrow! I've been put on Gonal F and Cetrotide.

I'm absolutely petrified about the whole thing. I feel like the only person on the planet going through it as I personally don't know anyone with fertility problems, which is why when I saw this group it's made me feel better about things and not so alone. I'm really scared about the EC, I'm not good at procedures and - such a wuss! I'm really scared about coming out of the journey the other end with no baby as we seem to have had so much bad luck so far. If one more person on my Facebook announces a pregnancy I think I might lose it! I'm even scared about writing this post!

Anyway, I will stop myself there, but thank you for all your posts that have helped me, and thank you if you have made it to the bottom of my post without getting bored or falling asleep! ☺️

17 Replies

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  • Hi πŸ‘‹πŸ½ it's great on here I don't know anyone with fertility problems so it's good to find a group like this so you don't feel so alone 😊 good luck on your journey your thoughts and feelings are the same as mine so I don't think your going crazy xx

  • Don't be silly...nothing boring about your post. It was just honest and moving...it is your truth.

    I joined this forum a few months ago and haven't looked back. The ladies on here are amongst the kindest you will ever know and amongst the bravest. There are tears and heartbreak here, but also announcements of joy, fulfilment and reward.

    The unknown is always a scary place, until you have been there. The ability to share with all the superstar women on here will, I hope, give you strength and encouragement and make the daunting a little less frightening.

    So welcome and whatever your journey, keep sharing it. You are definitely not alone...

    Wishing you only the best xx

  • I definitely feel better since joining this site and posting my first comment. I felt like the only person in the world going through it but now I don't feel so lonely. Feeling distracted with my thoughts this week with my Consenting appointment coming up on Friday, but having ofsted coming in has tried to change those distracted thoughts 😣 lol xx

  • Hi there - I've just got past the EC and am now anxiously waiting for transfer - of all the things that have been difficult in this crazy roller coaster of a journey I was surprised how ok the EC was - once you've got through a few weeks of injections you'll be tough as anything! Good luck to you over the next stages of your journey! X

  • So good to hear. I had a coil fitted once and it was such a horrendous experience and I felt really ill after which hasn't helped my levels of freaking out! But hopefully it will be ok and worth it in the end! Hope you have had your transfer and everything is progressing well for you xx

  • U have had some bad luck bless you but hopefully that all changes here and soon u will be letting us know about your BFP!!! Good luck! ❀️❀️❀️

  • You can do this πŸ’ͺ🏻 You'll be surprised at your own strength πŸ’ͺ🏻 😊

  • Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your comments, it's surprising how much hearing encouraging comments help from people that actually understand what we're about to go through. All the medication arrived yesterday. Gonal F and cetrotide. The Gonal F looks fine it's a pen, but the cetrotide πŸ’‰ 😳 Jeez that's a needle and a half! Would people say round 1 is better not knowing what's ahead or harder because of the unknown?! Good luck to all of you too on your journeys xx

  • I think it's completely normal to be scared of the entire process and then deadling with the outcome. All I can say is there is no point worrying about something that hasnt happened yet so just try and deal with one day at a time instead of the whole process because I think there is really to much to think about and too many scenarios to consider.

    Before all this started I was a complete wuss too but I've figured all I need to do is pop some pills do some injections (everyone says it's not as bad as you think) and then the rest is in the doctors hands, we lie on the bed and they do there job.

    EveryOne on here is so supportive and has loads of advise to really help put you at ease so hope you feel a bit better xxx

  • That does make me feel better thank you. I think the build up to big things like this is the worst because the unknown makes you overthink everything! You are right with the take one step at a time, I keep looking at all the scenarios and I have no idea if any of those will even apply to me!

    Thank you for being the voice of reason! Xx

  • I think us girls are naturally wired to over think every scenario, but once we've recognised this we can take steps to try and control this as it just drives you crazy having all that stuff running through your mind - mediation is great for clearing the mind but takes some practice and strong will xxx

  • I think too in this instance it's us girls having to do the physical journey so we overthink things because we don't know what will happen to our bodies and how out of control we are about what is going to happen! Although I'm scared I just want to start it now, the anticipation is driving me mad! Maybe I should try some form of meditation! Never tried it before! Xx

  • I know what you mean it just always feels that your waiting for the next tests, next results, next af.

    I've been reading 'a guide to mindfulness and finding peace in a frantic world' and the book comes along with some meditation tutorials, you can download these online as well. The book takes you through each practice for example you do the first session twice a day for 6 days and then you move onto the next one and it's an 8 week program in total it just helps me having something else to focus on and a little project because this is something I can control like you say the rest is sadly out of our hands. At least with the mindfulness meditation it helps to get rid of some of my anxiety and helps to ground me xxx

  • My husband has been diagnosed with anti-sperm antibodies as well. We have just had our referral sent for IUI. God knows how long it will eve. Take to get our first appointment through! But I totally feel the same as you. I'm overwhelmed by the journey ahead 😩 Xx

  • It's so scary what is ahead, but we will all get through this together, through good and bad. Being on here has made me feel more positive about it all already ☺ xx

  • I was put on both those drugs! If you have any questions, feel free to message me. Don't worry we all feel alone but we are not. Everyone on this forum knows how you feel! Xx

  • Hi! Your definitely not alone, I felt that way, as like yourself, we don't know anyone else struggling just hundreds of announcements on Facebook 😒 Haha. But this is the perfect place!! For support and help and advice. Good luck with your cycle and procudures- and remember, if your struggling, EYES ON THE PRIZE!! πŸŽπŸ‘ΆπŸΌπŸŽ€

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