I am spiralling again and I don’t really even know what I’m asking on here but I feel like I just need to write something to get it out.
My first FET was just a BFN and I just felt it hadn’t worked straight away and second was a chemical and I had this feeling at the beginning it had worked and then my gut told me no at the end so I have been right with how I’ve felt both times.
d
This time, I was SO positive in the beginning. I was so relaxed and had loads of little signs this was the one. I’m an early tester and won’t apologise for that because I’m a control freak and even though seeing negative is horrible it gives me some sort of control over a situation I really don’t have any control over.
I now just don’t know how I feel and am so scared it hasn’t worked.
I don’t know if I’m feeling like this because it hasn’t worked or because I’m trying to protect myself by not believing it - either way I just am so upset already.
tested 3dp and today 4dp, both stark white which I know is fine as v early but I feel I just need some people telling to pull my big girl pants up and hear some positive later BFP stories…
Any advise or positive stories or anything welcome to distract my brain from being insane.
xx
Written by
Trg25
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Day 3/4 is still very early, some people don't get lines till day 9/10. I know you said you like testing early but maybe worth not testing for a couple of days? Might make you feel better.
I know I am mad.. When I did my 3dp test I knew it would be negative, it was almost like a test run for me that I knew would be BFN so it wouldn't upset me as much if that makes any sense at all.. I feel like if I waited until 7 or 8 days then I would be fully expecting a positive so would then absolutely lose the plot. The only BFN I have got during IVF (had one child naturally) turned out to be a chemical and was a day 8 so now I am convinced if I see one that late it will be bad anyway.
I know testing is a very personal thing, I've done 5 transfers and always waited till at least day 9. This last transfer my OTD was day 13 and it felt like an eternity but I made my myself wait as I knew if I saw lots of negatives (which I expected after 4 failed transfers!) it would kill me.
You are 100% right, it is very personal and everyone has different ways of coping and they are all as valid as the other. Whatever gives you even a glimmer of sanity during this period, do it.
I hope you got your BFP on your last transfer. 5 is really tough, I do need to check myself sometimes when I am moaning about being on the 3rd when so many women have SO many more.
3 transfers is still tough. By 5 I had kinda given up on it working as I had never seen a positive test before so I just made myself wait to delay the bad news. I was so shocked when I saw 2 super clear lines on day 13! I'm currently 13 weeks and it still doesn't feel real!
This is such a hard one. I always feel like I'm teetering down a wobbly line of being positive and hopeful, and being negative and protecting myself. Either way the outcome has never been easy to handle.
I would say for me, my gut instinct has often been wrong. I've lead by "symptoms" that were just side affects from the meds, and the one time I felt tiny implantation sensations I completely dismissed them, and it turned out to be positive.
My point is really that you have 50/50 chance of your gut instinct being right - and it doesn't mean that this one hasn't worked. 3/4dp 5dt is early. There are LOADS of stories on here where late positives have been successful. I've had 9 FETs and always been too scared to test early so I wouldn't have a clue when my actual positive test would have shown up. Could have been day 3 / could have been day 9. Each FET / pregnancy is different and you can't really base one on the last experience.
So, you don't have to be super positive now, but you don't have to be negative either. Try and walk the tightrope somewhere in the middle.
Thank you so much for replying, sometimes you just need someone who knows how your feeling to talk to.
That is literally it, I know for a fact no one would think I was a fool if I was extremely confident and it hadn't worked.. but I would feel foolish myself for getting my own hopes up if that makes sense.
The picture they took of the embryo just before was taken at 11:11am and even that I was saying 'It's a sign! That's the angel number!' haha.. but now I am thinking I cannot imagine actually seeing that positive and being pregnant again so maybe it isn't going to work.
My god, I think I have officially lost the plot. Unless you have done an IVF 2WW you cannot even imagine how it feels can you.. absolute torture.
I'm not going to lie, I will most likely test first thing tomorrow morning too and every day up until OTD which is Monday 10th Feb (11dpt).
I 100% understand that feeling of feeling foolish - it's a horrible protection thing but it makes you feel so stupid. We know there is nothing wrong with being positive, but it's very exposing.
Yep the 2ww is so hard - and the wait from a positive test to first scan is equally as terrible! Just so much waiting and hoping but trying not to hope. It's such a head f**c.
I would absolutely keep testing if it helps you - I always buried my head in the sand but that's also hard too because then ALL the pressure rests on test day. I was always hoping for a "sign" that would make me be sure either way, but there isn't one - we literally just have to wait.
Exposing is exactly right, it is like we have been through so much heart ache just cannot bare to expose it again as so vulnerable.
I am normally quite a mentally strong person, but my god this has taken it out of me right from the start.
Yeah I don't think I could leave it all until test day, I really do wish I was that person but I am pretty much diagnosed with being a control freak so it just doesn't work for me.. I am currently sitting in the office trying desperately to focus on work to distract myself but it is not working right now
I don't think anyone who hasn't been through IVF can really understand how hard it is - the constant emotional rollercoaster of fear and the amount you have to go through before you even get the privilege of being in a 2WW....
And so many waits; to see how many eggs you get, to see how many fertilise, to see how many make it to blastocyst, to see if they thaw ok, to see if your lining will be thick enough, to see if you get a positive test, to see if the pregnancy is viable, to see if it continues to grow, to see if you actually end up with a baby.... most people just have sex.
I don't think there is anything wrong with testing early - its the only tiny bit of control we have really - to decide when we find out what is actually going on!
You are so right, every single part is just waiting. And waiting is the one thing I do horribly. I thought the 5 day wait to see if embryos had survived was bad enough (I had severe OHSS at that point too so I really was not well in body or mind lol) and thought it couldn't get worse than that... then roll on the next stage :/
I am not even thinking about the wait for a viability scan yet as I just don't want to jinx myself getting there but I can only imagine that is even worse...
hey there I’m also in my TWw got 2 days left and I can relate I’m going mad too lol 😝 every ache I feel like it hasn’t worked and that af is coming constantly prodding my boobs and if they not super sore I feel like it hasn’t worked..spend most of the day checking in the toilet for any cm changes and none so I’ve convinced myself it hasn’t worked.. but I’m too scared to test..you’re not alone the TWw is mentally a rollercoaster.: sending hugs and I hope it’s good news for everyone xx
Haha we have all lost the plot! That is so exciting you are nearly at the end now, I am assuming you have not tested yet?
Oh don't, when it comes to symptom spotting my logical brain is telling me 'it is far to early to be any pregnancy symptoms so it is the medication' but my crazy brain is saying 'but what if it's implantation..... I have a twinge, I have an ache, bla bla' but really its prob just gas or constipation as progesterone affects me there haha.
Sending you hugs and luck too, will be keeping everything crossed for you xx
Thank you! Its really weird because my clinic have advised test date with blood test and I’ll only be 8dp5dt? I thought that might be too early but they said it’s fine but if I want to do a urine test I have to wait till 11dp5dt.
I haven’t tested.. I am too nervous to see just one line again. I’ve kinda buried my head in the sand and secretly preparing myself to handle bad news. Let’s see how today goes.. boobs are sore and things are generally feeling a bit quiet down there.
The whole “don’t google” went out the window lol! I think I’ve read the same google stories on my last transfers too 😅.
That does seem early compared to others but maybe they will just do another blood test a few days later to check the HCG is doubling or something if it is present?
I think mine is about average as I have a blood test 11dp 5dt, they don't even mention home testing but the nurse did say to me if I do one at home over the weekend it will give me a pretty good idea as to what I can expect the bloods to come back with.
If that is what helps you, then keep doing that! My boobs aren't even sore this time I have just had twinges which are extremely minor and i'm sure mean nothing.
Haha me too i find myself asking the same questions to google each time so finding the same answers! xx
Just to say, I truly don't believe there is such a thing as 'testing too early'. Not in the manner in which it is often said -like you're a naughty child who's had a sneaky peak at a Christmas present or something. Well done for not apologising for it. It's your body, your medical information and your bloody experience. Do what works for you, so long as you keep taking the meds.
Of course, there is testing too early for reliable info, which I'd suggest 4-5 days post 5day FT is. So, I wouldn't think you're out yet! Even FRER wouldn't give you an accurate read yet, nor would an HCG blood test.
Keep taking the meds. Take it all one breath at a time. Other than stopping meds, nothing you do or do not do now will change outcome.
Thank you for that message. I do see so many people get judged and almost told off for saying about when they test, you are completely right - like a naughty kid at Christmas!
Yes I am still taking all my meds religiously, lots of water, eating healthy and no alcohol... but half of me thinks (apart from the meds) does anything even make a difference right now? Like I'm not going to drink alcohol but if I want a slice of cake then F*** it right? Or can it really still affect it?
It upsets me that we are scare-mongered in to this type of worry - we are sitting here, scared to eat a piece of chocolate in case it affects implantation. When there are tonnes of women drinking, smoking, taking drugs and still having babies....
You are so right. Some days I think exactly the same as the above, and then other times I think 'but is it worth it to eat bla bla' as if it didnt work, it probably would have absolutely nothing to do with anything I have done but I would prob still blame myself there?
I think I am going to buy a Lindor chocolate bar at lunch as they are my fave and really enjoy it haha! xx
Thank you for making me not feel as 'crazy' - it keeps me calmer so not going to apologise for it (if anyone thinks I am not calm now they wouldnt like to see me without testing haha).
Have you ever got BFPs? If so, what days did your start showing up? xx
I haven't got any BFP, just watching the trigger second line fading. But this round I just started test today after saw your post, 3 days after a 3day fresh transfer. A happy faint pink second line on both strips, lol. Don't worry too much as I've been shown that worrying wouldn't help either.. xx
Hi. Just keep busy, take all prescribed medication including Folic acid and Vitamin D. Drink lots of water, avoid constipation and test on the day suggested by your clinic. Good luck.Diane
Thank you. Avoiding constipation is hard as the meds block me up (on Cyclogest, Progynova and Lubion)... I am either constipated or the other way, so neither is good I don't think! I am taking all the extra pre-natal vitamins and plenty of water xx
Hi. Bless you, it can’t be easy with bowels that play up. All you can do is to concentrate on a sensible diet with gentle exercise and hope they start to behave. Diane
I was the same with my last transfer, I was so positive until 5 days in....then I was sure it hadn't work. I tested at 6dpt and I got the lightest positive...I am currently nearly 18 weeks pregnant! I would say, wait until 6dpt and test if you are feeling this stress, as you said now is way too early.Wishing you all the best of luck and sending a big cuddle for you xxx
Thank you for your reply, I needed to hear this today. I did again today at 4am as I had a dream I took a test and was positive... and BFN. I am saying to myself though I won't completely lose the plot until its 8dp and still negative. I got a faint bfp last FET on 8dp but it was a chemical. Thank you xx
It is absolutely normal to feel the way you do, especially after both experiences. However, 4dp 5dt is still early, I tested from 3dp 5dt and got a BFP on 6dp 5dt and it was very very faint! So keep positive and keep going. Don’t give up x
I really am hearing more and more that 6dp and 7dp seem to be the most common.. of course there are the early ones and the late ones but the 6 and 7 seem most likely. Thank you very much for replying, everyone is being so kind it is making me want to cry.. stupid meds making me extra emotional!! xx
lol, it’s ok to cry too. I cry even when I stopped the meds 🤣🤣🤣.
Even if you don’t get your BFP by 6dp or 7dp , doesn’t mean you’re out, just keep checking. Remember we’re all different and our body reacts to everything directly!!!! So keep pressing on x
I keep crying about happy things too haha! God it really messes with you doesn't it. Yes I will try to keep remembering that, just wish I was one of those lucky sods that get clear BFPs on basically day 0 haha... okay 4 or 5 but still, feels so unfair its like that added torture the longer it takes (if it takes) xx
Morning TRG, I feel like we may be transfer buddies! Mine was a FET on 30th, my OTD isn't til the 13th but there is absolutely NO way I'm gonna be able to wait that long before testing.
Good on you not beating yourself up for testing, I absolutely can relate and am so keen to test but my partner wants to wait another few days. I've read some of the other comments and found the advice really helpful, a cake or a chocolate bar really won't affect the outcome- and it's the least I think we deserve going though such a tense time!
Sending you a massive squeeze and lots of luck 🤞🫶 x
Yes that was the same as me 30th at 1.30pm. Are you a HPT or blood test on your OTD? Mine is the 10th but it is a blood test which may be why it is slightly earlier?
Thank you, my partner knows I am testing but only because he knows I would be even more neurotic if I didn't test haha. Also, I tell him I am the one who has been prodded, poked, examined, injected and flooded full of meds so if I want to test then that's up to me as it won't change the outcome.
Is this your first FET? Sending you a massive squeeze and luck too xxx
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
I am mad.. When I did my 3dp test I knew it would be negative, it was almost like a test run for me that I knew would be BFN so it wouldn't upset me as much if that makes any sense at all.. I feel like if I waited until 7 or 8 days then I would be fully expecting a positive so would then absolutely lose the plot. The only BFN I have got during IVF (had one child naturally) turned out to be a chemical and was a day 8 so now I am convinced if I see one that late it will be bad anyway.
Going nuts waiting to test!! 
10dp2dt and still BFN
BFN 4DP5DT (silly I know)
Implantation failure tests - NHS??
