Hi
I've had a rotten endo year this year. I am just 40 and I was diagnosed 19 years ago with stage 4 endo. Last year I was pregnant for the first time naturally, but I found out on Boxing Day that I had a missed miscarriage at 9.5 weeks. My fallopian tube also wrapped around my bowel so I ended up in emergency surgery and my tube was removed. I have recovered well and haven't been on any medication until this week when I had my first Decapeptyl injection. I am working really hard to stay on top of the "ugly thoughts" and make sure I am looking at the positives. But, today, this just all feels totally "INSERT SWEAR WORD OF YOUR CHOICE". My body has been in so much pain this year, recovering and dealing and the last three days have been hideous. I wake up at 5 from the pain, I get in a hot bath, take pain killers, do yoga, breathing exercises, and talk to my endlessly patient mum and other half. Usually I can keep my perspective, but today, its just too bad. I know I would love a baby, and I also know it is getting increasingly unlikely. Consultant mentioned hysterectomy this week and I felt just devastated. I know I can have a happy life with or without children, but right now this all has to go in to the too difficult bucket. I don't know if my body can go through anymore, and the thought of even being pregnant after all of my surgery terrifies me too. Surely that is more pain guaranteed? Any words you can share of encouragement or similar experiences would be so gratefully received today. Thank you ladies. xx
Hi I'm so sorry for what you've been through, I know how hard it is . I'm 42 and was diagnosed with severe endo and adenomyosis last year after trying for a baby for 4 years. Was told the chances of conceiving were so small due to both ovaries being badly damaged and tubes blocked. Had hysterectomy, BSO and excision 2 months ago. So I know how devastating it can be, but it must be harder to have conceived and then miscarried. My heart goes out to you. Just want you to know that you're not alone, if you to talk I'm here.
Hi Jean
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Gosh. There really aren't any words that convey this stuff. Devastated is a strong start. How are you now after your hysterectomy? I am processing the likely prospect of not having kids. I still have my melt down moments. I've learned to contain them to the shower and bath. In those moments I forget how many women are dealing with this stuff. My sister in law had a baby two weeks after my miscarriage which I'm finding really hard. Happy families taking place and I can't join in.
Hi, I was doing ok physicality until a week ago. I've started get a lot of pain with bladder and sharp stabbing pains in vagina. Managed to bring forward my follow up to next week. Emotionally I feel a complete wreck at the moment. Like you I try to let it out when I'm on my own as I know my husband will only worry even more than he already is. I'm hope that once I start on hrt things might improve as the hot flushes have got so bad , I'm not sleeping , so exhausted all the time which doesn't help.
I must admit there are days when I wish it would all just stop, so I come on this site and try and help someone else, which in turn helps me remember that I'm not alone .
I'm always here if you need anything, you can pm me if prefer. Take care .
What a fantastic approach you are taking by coming here and helping others at a time when you are going through so much yourself. You remind me that we are absolutely not alone. There are thousands of us and as I read the posts here there are more and more women being diagnosed each day. I'll send you a note.
Not really I just can't stand the thought of someone else going through this and feel like they're alone.