What should I do?

[hammy17]

Hi. I'm new here, I'm not exactly sure how this works and I haven't posted how I feel on something like this before.

I believe I've been depressed since I was around 11 years old, I'm now 17 and I feel like it's worse than ever. I left school a few months ago, which wasn't the best feeling as I felt like I actually had support there, especially leaving with not the best exam results due to how my depression was making me feel. I went to college and I felt the same so I made an appointment with the doctor. I waited around 2 weeks for an appointment, I eventually got one and I got told that if you're under 21 you can't be given antidepressants because they apparently make you more suicidal. The doctor went onto saying/suggesting that I should move away from where I currently live as according to him, many people in the same environment as me feel the same way. I felt like he didn't bother to actually look into how I feel nor help me in any way, I already feel like everyone is fake. I went on my own and it was hard for me to do that. My sleeping is messed up, I'm constantly over thinking, barely sleeping then when I finally fall asleep I end up sleeping in. I mentioned this to my doctor as I was missing college a lot which is what happened at school and I was given a warning about it. A week after this, I ended up being kicked out of college due to my attendance. I feel like I have no motivation at all.

I'm suicidal. I've self harmed in the past and I really don't want to get back into that situation. I've tried some sort of counselling when I was younger, however I feel like that didn't help me.

I don't see a way out anymore and I feel like my life is completely pointless. I've never asked for help and the one time I do, no one bothers. I'm wondering if there's any point making another appointment, just to be told the same thing.

I'm not sure if anyone bothers to reply but if anyone reads this, please give me your opinion and some advice. I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

[tofler]

Hi hammy17 and sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time, especially with trying to get help when you've asked for it. I think it can be a bit of a lottery when we go to see a GP, therapist or counsellor as some of them are much better than others. Is there anyone at college who you can go back to and explain about why your attendance wasn't good e.g. a student counselling service, support service or welfare department? If there's any way of getting back into college and having regular appointments with the welfare department there, I think that would be a good move for you at the moment. Having someone to talk to when we're struggling is very important but not always easy to find. Are there any college tutors who were more approachable than others? Also, keep making appointments with different doctors at your GP surgery until you find a doc who you think is more helpful and supportive. Maybe ask to be referred to talking therapies again as well, but ask for a different therapist to who you've seen previously or ask for a computerised/online programme for depression (e.g. Mood calmer), there's a few of these different programmes available now. I found the Mood Calmer one to be very helpful in the past. Also, keep searching online because I think there are websites specifically for young people who need mental health support. Thinking about college again, maybe your local careers service could help you get back to college if you explain to them why your attendance wasn't good and that you've been to your GP about struggling with depression etc.

[hammy17 in reply to tofler]

Hi tofler. I'll see what I can do about what you've mentioned. Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it.

[Hidden]

Hammy

If you are any way suicidal, call your GP or better still phone Health Service on 111 they will triage and decide if you need help.

Samaritans will listen, find your local telephone number it the front of the telephone book

This site is also here for you

BOB

[hammy17 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you borderriever.

[Hidden]

Do you have other GPs in Practice ? if so make an appointment to see one of them

If you look on the NHS Choices Forum, look up your GP Surgery and see which Partner specialises in mental health matters, see that GP

BOB

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[hammy17 in reply to Hidden]

I'll take a look, thank you.

[equilibrium123]

Hi, are you aware of your primary issues that cause you to feel depressed?. The way you describe the doctors comments suggests environmental elements may be apart of it?. Treatment for you will require both medication and therapy of some sort as they do work in conjunction by raising serotonin levels in the brain and therapy can help you see things differently. Try learning some coping skills such as breathing and distraction techniques to change anxieties when you feel low and want to slow down your thinking. Where you mention finding everyone fake it will help if you eliminate your all or nothing thinking by changing your perception. Yes there are a lot of people who are fake or nasty or rude but not everyone is!!!.change your negative talk and eventually you will see a difference in your mood. There are lots of people here to help you through this hard time.