depression/ relationship

[Doggielover16]

hey y’all, I’m struggling with depression and I think it’s making me doubt my relationship. My boyfriend reassures me that our relationship is good and everything thing is okay and that he loves me, but I just feel numb. Any advice on how to fix this numb feeling?

[Vonus5591]

more going out or walks together, build that relationship. Every now and again do favourite activities, listening and dancing to music that moves you. Keep encouraging each other to open about past, family, politics and religion. Learn about what makes each other feel good and bad. Move onto new topics. Days out at museum, cinema and do it all, swimming and gym. Sports, golf and tennis. Try something new all the time. Get better at something together or just pace youself. Courses, dance or art and crafts.

[Doggielover16 in reply to Vonus5591]

Thanks I’ll try that!

[Curry223]

I’ve had that issue when my fiancé and I started dating. I was so insecure and needed reassurance 24/7 which exhausted him. I started to learn to love myself in many ways. I also believe the numb feeling is a part of depression within yourself. If he loves you and treats you right try not to jeopardize that. Feel secure within yourself and then you will feel secure in the relationship. Being numb sucks, but it’s not permanent. Try getting out the house, doing your fav hobby, or simply talking to someone like you’re doing now. Proud of you for reaching out and God bless

[Doggielover16 in reply to Curry223]

Thanks!

[ellamental]

I was completely paranoid when I met my husband. 17 years on and I totally trust him and adore him and he me. After spinning out with jeslousy one time he said - here is my email password and phone - knock yourself out. This really helped and on and off I would check but eventually I could see that he was fine and it all went back to my childhood where my dad would go out and mum would be crying thinking he was with someone else. Eventually I needed less reassurance ( but it was ok to ask for it and still is) and getting married helped. Its horrid and all consuming and I hope you feel better soon. Don’t underestimate how this will impact your health. All the above ideas from others about doing things you like will help with distraction from your head. I also had group psychotherapy for years which helped but not easy to access these days. Learning to love yourself as curry222 said is key and happens gradually. You are worthy of being in a good relationship. I now feel that if he met someone and fell in love that I would let him go, that I would not want him if his heart was elsewhere and would want him to be happy. That is quite freeing. I also know that if he left for someone new it would hurt but I would carry on and be ok on my own. No one knows what the future holds and rather than let this upset you to the point of feeling numb try and enjoy your time together and just think of the now - worth a try. You will both have some, if not all, happier hours. Take good care of yourself.

[Doggielover16 in reply to ellamental]

Thanks for the advice!