Confused

[BrokenPromise]

Why do I put up with so much, and then when it's over, I miss the person that hurts me? In the moment I'm praying for it to be over, or change, and when it does change it's good, yet I find myself looking for reasons to escape & when it's ended for a moment of time, apart of me wish it didn't.

The person I thought was a good match for me turned out to have demons hes fighting. I stuck it out for a little over 2yrs. I helped every way, even if it effected me.

He suffers with addiction and repeats a cycle of sobriety, then relapses around a certain time. I know you can't help someone who's not ready, but I tried my hardest to love him through it. I have many family and friends fighting too, so it's hard for me to let go..

My fault is my heart. I know deep down this isn't good for me and I've been through some traumatic events. Even if I'm not wrong, I also feel like I'm wrong. I'm exhausted mentally and trying to let go.

I'm wondering have you ever been in a relationship with someone who's fighting demons? Family, or friends. Was it worth it to stick around? How does, or how has, a loved one struggling, effect you/ a person??

[Springvale23]

I felt the same. I was in a 25 year marriage with a recovering alcoholic , who had issues with control and everything had to be his way. I went for counselling and tried to plan an escape but still stayed silent and remained in the relationship. Then he met someone else and left me. I was devastated and had a breakdown. I couldn’t cope with the rejection.

When we were together he blew hot and cold. After unacceptable behaviour he was really kind to me and I was over the moon. Then the same cycle started again. I couldn’t break free as I longed for the honeymoon period after his bad behaviour. I felt I had tolerated so much and in the end there was no reward for my kindness.

That was 6 years ago and I still wonder why I put up with all and yet at times I wish he would come and see me.

I believe for me it’s all to do with rejection. I can’t stand being abandoned even though it was not a healthy relationship, I still had hope that one day things would be better.

You are no alone feeling the way you do.

[BrokenPromise in reply to Springvale23]

I'm Sorry to hear you went through that, I know how tough that is. I was in a relationship for about 11 yrs with a physically & emotionally abusive alcoholic. I ended up having kids with that man and now I have to coparent. I find myself in a struggle trying to deal with it and the suppressed feelings and trauma begin to arise. It took many years later to realize the effects it had on me, it's one of my biggest struggles. I understand exactly how you feel, even though it wasn't healthy for me, I still stuck around. He ended up cheating and staying with the other person, it was a good thing though because I couldn't let go. It was hard. Idk why I allowed it for so long, or why I didn't let go. I don't think identifying red flags are a thing for me, I find myself attracting what is familiar and I feel comfortable in. It's actually pretty crazy, I'm still learning on how to heal and change my ways.We live and we learn. I'm so glad for you that you didn't continue to suffer 🥺

I wish you complete healing & thank you for sharing 💕

[Springvale23 in reply to BrokenPromise]

Thankyou for your lovely reply. I wish you well.

I often wonder why we allow others to control us and can’t walk away. It is very common in relationships. But glad I a free now.

[BrokenPromise in reply to Springvale23]

I wish you well too. Take care! ✨