Help advice would just be appreciated

Hi there, I am a male in my early 30's, I have a few health issues that have resulted in me becoming much like a recluse because i am ashamed. I have had a problem with my bowels for around 4 years and had a hemoriods operation under my old doctor 4 years ago, then i moved to a new doctor who would not re- refer me back to the surgical centre, they said its invasive and they will try something else, this was against my wishes and they treated me with supositries for over a year which i had to stop using because they where actually inflaming the situation. Because I have depression they where trying to say its all in your head. However I would like to say that if its all in my head why did i go to a and e because the pain was so excruciating. Only to be told to return to my doctor. Now another thing that has been happening practically all the time is i have had tonsillitis and or problems swallowing. I went to the doctors and not even a look just oh its that again so just have some more antibiotics. My bowels have got so bad that I can;t tell when i will actually go and i have so many accidents. My doctor blames everything in my depression although he doesn't actually seem to believe in depression. I have had enough. Iv recently had some strange raised rashes come on my upper leg near my groin looked like someone had bit me on one side. These come and go so i'm not too worried or that is what i try and tell myself. Today i noticed some skin on my shins that is very tender and has some blood spots at top and then what looks like dark red underneath for about a 6 x 4" diameter on each leg. I have not to my knowledge had any injury. All I know is i have been finding it extremely hard to breath recently and getting short of breath very easily. I have also at times had considerable pain in my chest. The past couple of weeks my back has started getting quite bad. I am scared because my doctor has never given me a proper check over, i have asked to be seen at another surgery but still await a reply. I just feel very alone.

Sorry to bother you all and take care


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8 Replies

  • I am so sorry Rob! That all sounds absolutely awful what you have and are going threw. I have ulcerative colitis and share a bit of what it is like to be worried about accidents and to have pain in that region of the body. It is a rough topic and a socially unacceptable topic for many to talk about openly. But that is just what you and I need, right? You have to talk about it and share with others. My mother used to embarrass me in public all the time intentionally saying embarrassing things. Like bowel disease is a joke . It hurt a lot for sure to be made fun of something that is so painful and not my choice!

    To just confess with confidence from your post I have suffered from hemmriods too. The raw bloody sting and pain is very bad. I don't have them much since my Ulcerative Colitus has been under control. But I do relate painfully. What a person eats can help or hinder hemmriods - so please google a list of foods to avoid to help you reduce your chances of developing more- and healing the ones you have. There is a medication over the counter in my country called Tucks. May you have it too? It is a fairly large medicated pad you put outside the region and it soothes the area. You just tuck it in the region and leave it for a while kinda like a compress for you. Inside ones are hard to medicate. I was on suppositories years ago and they made me feel awful. Then I got a pill form of the same medication- for me it was Sallfalk- and it worked much better. My doctor said the suppositories were better because they soothed the area inflamed by my ulcerative colitis. But they always made me feel like I had less control of my system. And they left me feelings uncomfortable with the greasy texture or for some reason that I can't quite describe.

    Baby wipes are something I use instead of toilet tissue. It will make you feel cleaner and just helps soothe your private area stressed from bowel issues. I also had serious kidney issues at one time and just washing your thighs with baby wipes can really help with rashes. Also changing your underpants a couple times a day and using talc. Not that your underpants would be dirty - it is just like putting a fresh cloth around a sore area.

    I feel you need to take your files and go start fresh with a new doctor. Depression is one thing that make people have accidents. Especially with urine. Someone is too tired and suffering from depression might not even have it in them to get up and go to the washroom. In the height of my depression I actually used a bedpan for peeing I the morning- because I was so depressed getting up in the morning for the toliet was too much for me. This is the first time I ever admitted that - but it is true.

    However your bowel issues I don't feel are at all on par with depression. Do you know a famous singer called Macy Grey? She talked about depression and how she would pee in her pants because she was just so depressed to get up. That is very serious depression! She told that story to help other people who felt that same way. That is likely why your doctor is linking your accidents to depression. But I think it has to do with all the stress to your body dealing with the hemmriods.

    Please consider going to a hospital in the emergency department because of shortness of breath. You need to get those rashes checked out too. You should not have to suffer this way! Please keep everyone here updated on your progress. I am very sorry you feel alone. I often do too when I am feeling sick and no one understands how I feel. But I sincerely care. And there is a lot of people you will meet on this board who will too. ❤️❤️❤️

  • Hi Rob, it certainly sounds as though there's a lot going on for you at the moment. Is there another doctor at the pratice you could see? I had a really good relationship with my old GP and because I liked her I trusted everything she said. She left very suddenly and I was forced to see a new one. It was probably the best thing I did because she's really efficient and looks at things in a totally different way to my old GP. Sometimes a fresh look from anew pair of eyes is really useful x

  • Don't know about medicine but read this book. DR ATKINS THE VITA NUTRIENT SOLUTION. used on Good luck

  • Welcome and hope you find another surgery to support you soon.

  • Hello Rob, you don't have to put up with this. Life is too short. See another GP regarding the haemorrhoids. I've had them as well. Don't know if they are internal or external. But I did take steroid cream which did help a lot. Also salty baths which helps the healing process as well as keeping regular, to stop constipation which doesn't help. I hope this is of use. Andy

  • Thank you for your time to reply. I have been to A&E on Sunday due to a large bleed from back passage that did not stop. I have to have several biopsies for the rashes and also surgery for my back passage to do an exam and fix what may be the problem. I think just putting the thing on here and people giving me the courage enabled me to stand up to it. I have felt very tired and lethargic. but would like to thank everyone once again. Thank you and take care.

  • Please keep up us updated on the results of your tests! Hope you are feeling better soon!💐

  • Unfortunately I had a bit of a lapse and took an overdose, however now the teams that I was working with have been bulloxed and my doctor is imminently due to change. I will say this please no one take 300mg x 30 x 4 boxes it really can fuck you up, I was extremely lucky and notified someone almost immediately but the consequences of me surviving without brain damage was very low. I had a seizure that lasted sometime in A&E and then for a couple of days did not know whether I would be able to walk again. I will say this, I should have been stronger and I should have pushed more to get the help I needed. If anyone ever feels like they need extra help/ support then please feel free to contact me. I would never want anyone to feel as low as I did and end up in the same situation. On the plus note, this last week I have been busy trying to sort out all the problems and pissing my Mental Health teams off until they sort the problems out. They are doing but I should have pushed much earlier. Thank you so much for your support oh and my new doctor for Mental Health is also my Bowel Surgeon so should be great fun...

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