Hello, i'm Robyn and I've just turned 16..
before I say anything i'd really appreciate some good advice, and i'm also here for anyone else if they'd like to talk
okay, so pretty much ive been dealing with depression since I was only 11 years old and its only ever gotten worse. I have tried to help myself (I don't talk about it with my friends because im scared they think im pathetic) by writing lists of all the good things in my life, forcing myself to think happy thoughts and meeting up with friends more (I get REALLY anxious when I meet people and get plans, and I find the whole thing uncomfortable), but nothing is working. I had therapy sessions when I was 11, and that's when my school had found out I self harmed. I don't self harm anymore but I feel my depression is worse because I feel deeply sad all the time..like, everything could be going fine and I still feel really low. I have always struggled with anxiety and low confidence/self esteem, but I feel I've come out my shell a bit and I still feel the same. My parents just don't understand, ive literally come out with the sentence "I'd like to get help from the doctor, I think Im depressed" and my mum has never been able to deal with it, and shes a nurse. I get really anxious all the time, like when I have to meet up with people, and when the house phone rings (I have a weird phobia of phones) and Its a huge struggle getting through most days. Recently I have been forcing myself to do things out my comfort zone, and ive hated it. I just want to stay in my bed and not do anything all day..i really don't feel it's "just hormones" and I would really appreciate some help..thank you in advance!
Hi Robyn
You say your Mum doesn't understand, and you mention she's a nurse. I'm a teacher and while I can get across a tricky point to a class of 30 kids, I find it incredibly difficult to teach my own children anything. Sometimes when things are too close to home, you just can't transfer the skills that you use every day.
It sounds like you've got a lot going on for you just now, and you've mentioned that you've had therapy in the past. Can I asked why that therapy stopped, and did you feel it worked for you at the time?
Now that you are 16, you don't need your Mum to take you to see a doctor. You can take yourself. However talking to a GP about mental health difficulties can be really hard and I think it would be great if someone could go with you.
I wouldn't advocate trying to go behind your Mum's back, but at the same time, you are entitled to get help for how you're feeling, even if she won't support you.
Are you in the UK? If so, there are lots of charities and support networks you can access.
Take care,
Lucy x
I suppose that makes sense, its just i've tried seeking help a few times before and my mum doesn't want me too because she isn't taking me seriously enough, but as you mention i'm old enough to go by myself so I think I will, but I will tell my mum.
Therapy stopped because it was inside school, and the councillor I had was a stand in (the real school nurse is my aunt so i'm not allowed to speak to her) and she moved, and the school and my family decided they thought it would be better to try and forget about it all and sort of move on, but as ive explained that's not really been working :/ thank you for replying so quickly, i'm new to this website and I am really just trying to reach out to anyone because I don't have anyone to discuss this with in my personal life
thank you, robyn xx
There's always someone here to chat to Robyn.
With all due respect to your family, deciding that you should end your counselling and move on wasn't their decision to make, and it's just left things in the air for you.
I think telling your Mum that you intend to see the GP is a really sensible thing to do. Things are always easier to deal with when they are not surrounded by secrets. By telling her that you're prepared to go on your own, she might well take a minute to realise that you're actually behaving in a very mature way and that your health and wellbeing are important to you.
I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it was only because my secret was out and I wanted everyone to just forget. But i've grown up since then and my thoughts on it are more mature, i'd really like to seek help and go about it in the most normal way possible, I suppose I just needed someone else's opinion to help me decide on what to do. I agree that it was never my families decision to make, and I wish I had sorted things out then (would've saved a lot of hassle.)
I'm also a little bit scared of what to say to the doctor when I go in, I want them to take me seriously and listen, but I don't want to say the wrong thing by accident, could you give me a bit of advice?
again, I really appreciate the support
Morning Robyn & welcome to the forum.
First off let me commend you for seeking help & recognising you have a problem at such a young age. I don't mean to be patronising by pointing out how young you are it just took me about 10 years before I realised I had depression. So for you to realise that already and not only that but also to be wanting to seek help is amazing to me (took me another 10 years to seek help, what can I say I'm stubborn). You are ahead of the curve already. So well done.
Lucy as given you great advice (she usually does) and I can't add anymore really.
As to what to say perhaps you can write down a few things so as to remind you. I've found that I forget to mention everything when I've gone to see a doc about depression because all I want to do is get outta the room as fast as humanly possible. So a few notes would probably have helped me & forced me to keep my butt on the seat for a little longer until everything had been discussed. Lots of times after conversations we tend to think I should have said this or that in response. So that may prove useful.
James
thank you! I've had on and off arguments with myself about going to the doctor or trying to help myself, but its got to the stage where im realising it is taking over my life, therefore I need professional help. Wow, 10 years! better late than never, i'm sorry to hear you've been battling it for so long. Notes would help actually, ive never thought on that before. thank you for the advice/tips!