I don’t really know where to begin to be honest ! I would say I have suffered some form of mental health through out most of my life since a young age. I had a difficult child hood and then brought my self up with no family support or love. I have always been alone and I also have a child! I am a great mum but then I have days when I feel like I’m the worst Mum ever and my child would be better off without me. I live a ordinary boring life I’m not someone you would think suffers with mental health but I do I know I do but I have never gotten any help or admitted it! I’m not quiet sure what is wrong with me? Sometimes I don’t sleep other days I don’t want to get out of bed ! Iv got my self in huge debt buying things in attempt to make my self happier but ofcourse that hasn’t worked !
I have days I’m angry and loose my temper, other days I’m ok and feel fine. I have a mix of emotions and I find it very confusing and ignore how I feel.
A few years ago I was with someone and I was genuinely happy, the happiest I had been in a long while. When the relationship ended things went very bad I got in loads of debt and also lost my job as I was always late ! Things got worse I started hoarding without realising it ! cleaning the house became impossible and I just wanted to be in bed ! I just about managed to care for my child but I stopped caring for myself. Right now I’m in a better place I’m working in a job I enjoy and I’m slowly feeling like myself. But I still have troubles at home with all the mess ! I’m actually a clean and tidy person but the amount of stuff I have laying around is over whelming I don’t know where to start ! I’m so ashamed I don’t let people in my house if my friends come around unexpectedly I ignore the door because I don’t want them to see, I then start to ignoring them out of embarrassment. I don’t have many friends and isolate myself.
I just need some help and advice please ?