angry and short temper alday..........

[Pickle165]

i feel like going up a mountain and screaming my head off, im so frustrated with everything. ive recently been on the phone to a debt collecter who keeps phoning me and claims he can call me up to three times a day before its classed as harassment! that really wound me up. think im going through the start of a brake up with my boyfriend who i have been with for five years this summer, i just dont know how much more i can take. he sulks and throws strops alot and the other day on the way back from the vet we was having some silly conversaion about me getting the time of the appointment wrong by ten mins and he just lost it in the car driving along and shouted at me like a child, he went red in the face like he was gonna burst. after that i sent him home and did not invite him in my house where i was expected to wait on him at dinner time, i thought why bloody should i. i really do think he may have bi ploar light like his sister becouse he can change so quick and it really draggs me down. my mum said she feels hes a bit of a control freak becouse of some of the stuff he has said, he doesnt seem to want me to get better yet i always wish him luck although the nice wishes are running low now im afraid to say.

ive tried to talk to him about getting help but he is in complete denial as are the whole family!!!!!!!!! should have had him looked at while we were in the vets!!!!!!

got my second session of cbt tomorrow and again i dont want to go, i feel like screaming and crying at the same time while having a panic attack. havnt really done much today cos i just want to close the curtains and sit in the dark listening to soft music.

having the weirdest dreams that im not even gonna do into, no one on here would ever talk to me again!!!! im not really a angry person which is why its so stange for me to feel this way. i found an app on my phone called inner garden so ive attached a picture and if anyones looking for me ill be on the bench in the middle of the bridge and stream seariously thinking about throwing myself off..........thinking about it its probably about a coupe of foot deep. doh!

[Hidden]

I think we all get like that sometimes, I know I do, and then I get alot of guilt.

Get to that CBT tomorrow, you'll have something to say to him.

I feel for you

Love

B

xxx

[Hidden]

Hello,I been to the vets also today,didnt see you there,anyways,dont you be worrying about the debt collectors,you either have it or you don't,I guess you recognise the number now,dont answer or do what I do,answer but don't speak,winds them up!As for your boyfriend,put you first,very important that and don't be waiting on him because its expected all the time then.I know its hard after 5 years but if that's it,thats it.By strange coincidence,I have been talking to 2 people about strange dreams today,my young friend was burying bodies her boyfriend was storing in the bedroom but started to smell so she put them in the garden,I was protecting my ex and son from a nutter and had to kill him,my other friend wont even tell me about her dream that I was in, so who knows! You see,its not just you,sweet dreams!!

[Hidden]

Hi Sam

Don't throw yourself of ...we would miss you

Not sure about the debt collector been able to phone 3 times a day , but if you went to CAB they would sort it out ...

I once had problems & when they contacted them it soon stopped

Only other thing does a number show when they phone , if it does programme it in , that is them & then you will see when it rings & don't pick it up , but I would try CAB

I no , you don't feel like your counselling ,but at least they will see you when you are feeling stressed out , & when you come out you might feel better , keep going I no its hard , but it will get better

Let us no if the counselling goes ok , will be thinking about you

Love

whywhy

xxx

[marcusvanbreugel]

Dear Sam1981,

I am sorry to read that you going through a rough or a bad time at the moment.

I do hope things improve for you quickly.

big hugs,

Marcus xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Sam I know how you feel. My long term dream is to go into the middle of a poppy field and just scream the place down. One day I will.

Bev x