Hi wasn't going to post on here for a bit as I felt the need to sort my head out, but I'm really struggling today. I can't get motivated it was hard just to convince myself to get out of bed this morning. It's a loverly day outside and I should be able to enjoy it, but that would be easy wouldn't it.
For those of you that have been following my blogs since I joined you've probably got a good idea what's caused me to feel this way. You will know that the situation of me feeling like I was left in limbo after the breaking up with my OH. She was sending me a lot of mixed signals on wether or not I still had a chance to resolve things with her. I finally got the answers I was after Friday night it wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was an answer none the less. It has helped me gain the closure I wanted.
Yesterday although upset I had a fairly good day until I helped my mum out with her shopping. I started to feel very on edge and claustrophobic. With my heart racing and my breathing all over the place. I managed to get through it with running for the hills, but it was tough. Again this is nothing I've suffered from before until the anxiety started.
Today so far has been tough as I said I can't get motivated I've got a few things I need to do, but just can't bring myself to do them. I hate feeling like this I'm usually someone who can just get on with things and shrug them off, but this has completely knocked me for six.
I know given time things will get better, but I can't see that at the minute. All I want to do is speak to her I know that's a stupidly bad idea.
I feel like there are so many more important things in life to be getting this worked up about and that's making me feel worse. I feel like I should just be able to get on with things. Just think my brain has got it in for me at the moment.
This blog has been such a god send through all this and the people on it have been so supportive and helpful and I'd never be able to thank the people who have helped me enough.
I think I've gone on enough for now I just needed to vent a bit.
Hope everyone's weekend is going better than mine. Enjoy this lovely Sunday peeps.