Overthinking

[Andypandy30]

Hi I'm needing a bit of support today . Well usually every day but today Iv got myself in s tizz . I have trouble going out . Sometimes I can push myself other times I can't . Had a very stressful day yesterday due to a bereavement in the family circle a cousin with a young family . Thing is I can't get this out of my mind . And my daughter has a meeting at her school today . I really don't think I can push myself too much . Feeling very fragile . And emotional . Her dad has offered to take her but I feel so guilty . Iv been worrying about it all week . I just diddnt want to let her down as its a new school . Which is difficult for me . A new school a new direction all new things for me to cope with . I'm getting so worked up . I want to be able to support my daughter but feel I cud end up ruining it for her by panicking and the easy option is to let her go with her daddy .?i can then put a plan in place over the summer to get used to travelling this new route which is what I have to do wen going somewhere new . I just feel so bad im letting her down .?

[Hidden]

You're not letting her down if you feel fragile at this moment. Have your husband take her this time, and once you get used to the new school, new route (practice new route) your mind set will be stronger and more in control. There will be many more opportunities to participate with your daughter in the new school, and I'm sure she will understand. Don't feel guilty because another day will be brighter and hopefully less stressful.

[Andypandy30 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind reply . I did all the paperwork and phoned the school to check and they said it was an informal meeting . To receive forms etc . I will not be missing anything important . Thank goodness . Secretary was lovely . And said the same as you that there will be many more times to attend. I think my daughter will be fine with that as long as she knows she is loved and I cared enough to support her . Which I will try to do in future xxx

[BonnieSue]

Andypandy,

I suspect she knows how much you love her and understands you have fears about going out sometimes. I'm sure she's seen that before, yet she's also seen and felt the love and caring you give her every day. Remember she just went on a great trip that you helped her get ready for and allowed her to go on even though you had some misgivings about letting her go? I doubt she's forgotten that already. And now her Dad has stepped up to the plate and done what Dads should do. Not a bad thing at all. He took a turn. You'll certainly be taking a turn other times when you're more ready.

Would it help to take her to school a few times and walk in just to say hi to a teacher or get as close to a classroom as possible so you'll get used to doing that and not be nervous about it? Or would your daughter not want you to come into school with her? Some kids find that embarrassing. You could do it after school where she could show you around the school...show you the gym or track or other places so you get used to driving and being at the school. Maybe she would like to do that with you. Just some thoughts.

I know she knows how you love her and she might be proud to be able to help you get comfortable around her school.

[Andypandy30]

Great advice suesz thank you . I will keep u updated xx

[Agora1]

Hi Andypandy, reading your post brought back memories of my daughter being in school and how difficult it was for me to go to school meetings, open house etc. I wasn't even agoraphobic then but very anxious. So much so that we bought a house 4 houses from the school so I could stand in front of the house and watch her come and go w/o physically having to walk there. When I couldn't make it, I had her dad go there and not feel guilty. In a perfect world, it would have been nice for me to be there like the other mothers but hey, I was the perfect mother at home. And she knew she was loved. CBT teaches us to face the thing we fear, but sometimes when our mind gets flooded with so many things going on, we need to step back and reset. I am very sorry about your bereavement in your family. With your daughter having a new school that adds to a lot of new things for you to cope with. Give yourself some time to adjust and I think you will see things get better by not pushing yourself right now. xx

[Yodhvh]

I really felt for you when I read your post.

[Andypandy30]

Think you yodhvh it's hard but nice to get the support when I feel like this . It would be good to feel normal xxx

[Andypandy30]

Thank you agora I really appreciate the understanding .its tough but I trying not to beat myself up about it . Constant worry tho xx

[Agora1]

I know Andypandy. I care. We are all here if you need help getting through this. I only wish there was a support forum like this when I was going through the beginning stages of anxiety. I hope it makes you feel less alone. xx

[Andypandy30]

Definitely don't know where I'd be without lovely people like u and others .xx