I have just spent 2 days helping a friend paint their new home and it made me feel wonderful. I normally have no reason to leave the house on a daily basis apart from shopping and the odd walk. I am on ESA support for 2 years and I am so bored and feel hopeless. My friends have all started families I now rarely see them and I live alone.
Now the painting is over I fear I may not have anything to do and will not see anyone for a long time. I have even thought, screw the ESA and just get any job, but have been advised this is a bad idea while unwell. I would like to do something everyday but with people who understand my depression anxiety and physical health conditions. I rarely see my family they live quite far away and do not enjoy socialising with me. I do see people occasionally but a reason to leave the house everyday is what I need. It is saturday afternoon and I am alone lying on my bed. I feel I have no options what so ever. I am lonely and feel depression starting to take hold. I could ring someone but an hour on the phone is not enough. I want to know I will have something to do tomorrow or at least someone to see for the day.
I do not understand the term ESA Support group, where is the support? Why in this day an age is there no activity for people like me as well as all the others lonely in their homes right now. I have spent most of the day looking for help and things to do but it seems their is very little. I feel so lonely their are old people in my street whose families visit them everyday I hear phones ringing next door constantly while I sit in silence.
My depression became so bad recently I had to go to A and E as I thought I may harm myself. After this a psychiatrist told me I need a routine and that was it. I thought I am ill and being ill stops me from having a routine why don't you help me get one, she just got me out of her consolation room as quick as possible after a generalised diagnosis.
Living alone with physical and mental illness is almost unbearable for me. There must be more to life. I have hobbies buy all solo activities virtually no contact with people except for medical interactions. I really do not know If I can cope with one more day like this.