Why do I feel so alone always.....??

[Anonymus7]

am a single child, was brought up in a very restricted environment. My mother brought me up as a single parent who hardly had time for me, as she was always busy with work. Now I am 26, I had 2 relationships which didn't work out. I always feel that I am alone....so alone...that once I tried to commit suicide. I always have this feeling of loneliness which depresses me. I have been in depression for last 12 years. I hardly talk to people I hardly make friends I think I don't have a life. I am always sad. I always keep thinking about my past and things which never worked out in the past like my relationships. I don't have much people around me and even if they come close I eventually drive them away. I cry too much...I don't have control over my emotions. I don't want to live life this pathetically but I never feel better. Even in a room full of people I feel alone and lonely but still I can never make an effort to talk to people...to smile...to make friends and even if someone tries to be friendly I shut out. I don't understand why I feel and behave this way....Pls Help!!!

[jennyjolly]

You can change this.

The emphasis is on 'You'

You have what it takes to leave this uncomfortable comfort zone of isolation

Where no one can upset/reject or hurt you.

You can get strong enough to deal with that possibility

As you will meet others who will love and welcome you.

The world is full of lovely, kind people and the opposite too

Could you join a church or other social meeting group

Therapy would be very helpful and possibly the appropriate meds too.

Worth paying a visit to your Dr soon as you can

Start enjoying life again and make new friends.

Sending all good wishes

[Anonymus7 in reply to jennyjolly]

Thanks a lot Jenny...joining a church sounds like a good advice....I hope I'll be strong enough to pull myself out of this zone....thnx

[jennyjolly in reply to Anonymus7]

You have to do things that improve your strength.

Different for each person,

Reinforce the good habits which strengthen,reinforce neural brain pathways and leads to improvement

If you keep giving in to bad habits that also reinforces them in the

wrong way and keeps you weak.

So the more you give in to negative thinking.. that reinforces those pathways that keep you negative.

Buy some positive thinking books eg The Secret which will reinforce your positive thinking/acting

The positive thinking in these books helps to replace your own negative thoughts with more helpful,positive ones.

The right church would be a great idea as you would make some good,supportive friends of your age group.

All good wishes for the happy life you deserve..xx

[Kainan]

I can fully relate, and I often tell myself that same thing: that I will feel lonely even in a room full of people. I'm 24 and I have never been in a relationship. And rather than defeating myself saying things like why don't I have a girlfriend because I'm a decent human being and have so much to give, I just try to make the best every day and laugh and reflect, but not criticize. The life you live is how you make it and that starts with the perspective you take on things. We cannot drive forward if we keep looking in the rear view mirror.

[Anonymus7 in reply to Kainan]

Surely Kainan....you are right about the perspective part but the sad part is I know these things but still not able to change my feelings of depression....

[Kainan in reply to Anonymus7]

But I feel like you will in time. Time changes a lot of things, and how we think of ourselves and of the life we live is no exception. Do you have a hobby that you feel really proud doing? If we keep utilizing our strengths we will feel happy.

[Agora1]

Hi Anonymus7, they say we are a product of our upbringing. Starting with being an only child to having a mother who had to provide for you as both mother and father. The fact that you had a very restricted environment tells me your mother wanted to protect you in every way that she could. She had to be busy with work in order for you two to survive. I can only imagine how lonely it was for you. No one to talk with while growing up. No one to share your sadness and loneliness most likely brought you to where you are today. Afraid to get close to anyone who may reach out to you. You never really knew what it was like to interact with others. The only thing you knew is a mom on her own . Your crying too much and not having control over your emotions tells me you need emotional support right now in order to be able to move on in life. I also think your past relationships didn't work out because you are afraid to trust. My best advice would be to get into therapy (one on one) in order to talk out your fears and doubts so that you don't become a mirror of your mom's life. Your mother did the best she could, now it's your turn to become the best you can. It can and will happen. xx

[bellebella]

When I read your words I hear myself

I wish I could tell you the secret to feeling better

The most important thing is to keep respecting yourself, it's hard to not have friends, I sadly know, but remember you can be your own best friend, lame I know, and things can change, just don't give up

Not every one will turn away, some people will stick around

Remember you attract like for like

You have to try and find a little bit of joy in your heart, something to hold on to, it's the essence of who you are and that's what will help (in time)

I believe in a lot of things I struggle with at the moment, but what helped when I was in a better place was this postcard swapping I was doing - postcrossing - take a look at it's website, it's lovely getting postcards from all around the world and I had penpals from it to who are really nice.

Sadly people don't like hearing that we don't feel great, thats why this place is so good, but there are little steps you can make, I've had hypnotism in the past and that can make a difference to some people, hobbies are good too, there are also lots of good youtube videos, I especially like the ones about manifesting positive vibes (they do take some work), also I just found Gala Darling who has a really good website about self love (also takes some work but worth it if you can- I'm working towards reading in properly)

Don't give up!

[smjtty]

PEOPLE ARE SO COLD IT IS HARD TO FIND SOME ONE TO TALK TO I WAS A

ONLY CHILD WITH A MESSED UP HOME LIFE I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU

[Agora1 in reply to smjtty]

I'm sorry smjtty. I didn't realize this all started when you were young.

[smjtty in reply to Agora1]

NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU