Support needed

Hi everyone ,

This is a first for me but my mood is low and all I want to do is sleep , hide away , and lately had feelings of just not coping and ' done in' . I visited the doctors four weeks ago and know been diagnosed with depression .

It's debilitating and feel so lonely, I read some posts and it seems like I'm not alone . I am due to go back to work next week and have started to have negative dreams about the situation .

I have family and a great partner but putting a face on when they around is making me feel even more desperate .

Any support would be greatly appreciated

20 Replies

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  • Are you on antidepressants ,they take a few weeks to kick in ,I also suffer from depression ,a few tips for you,possative thinking ,be good to yourself have treats ,make sure you eat regularly AS low blood sugar can make you feel horrible ,they say exercise does you the world of good (hav'nt tried that one yet ha ha )nice pictures ,and smells you like they all help ,hope you get on OK and this helps a bit ,be possitive you will get better xsusan

  • Thanks Susan , I have read about the exercise but can't seem to get motivated. On fluxetinile . So hopefully they will kick in soon . Just knowing someone understands is a big help . Fed up with people saying pull yourself together , thanks again

    Cloudy

  • Don't put to much pressure on yourself Cloudy...like Susan says be nice to yourself, maybe only try and do one or two things you want to aim for a day...like having a bath, going for a walk (dont have to be long)....when i was at my lowest what i would do is print of a list of affirmations or write em down and keep them in my pocket at all times and each time i felt i could cope or do something id get them out do my breathing and read them over and over till i felt "right I can do it"....Exercise really does work, Im living proof, had GAD since early childhood and always been active but after a breakdown in adulthood it was either be on medication for life or exercise regularly to get the natural serotonin, its a way of life now, a natural part of my day....Keep talking about it, don't hide it as this will only make you worse...You are in the right place for support, this site is full of great understanding people, glad i discovered it...take care Dee x

  • Hi Cloudy. I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I understand what you mean when you say that putting on a face makes you feel down. I felt I was having to act motivated to prove to my partner and family that I was coping (he was lovely but I don't think anybody can truly understand depression) but at one point I just broke down and said something along the lines of I just have to do me and need to be left to fix this myself.

    I basically scrapped everything and almost acted like I was 'reborn' (that sounds a bit cheesy sorry) I focused on finding enjoyment in the simplest of things such as my cup of tea in the morning, lighting my candles at night and buying myself some new books (I soon realised I never treat myself) My partner gave me my space which I appreciated so much. I stayed in bed until I felt well enough to get up. I walked our dog on my own to get back my strength and independance. I too had to go back to work and actually had another full blown attack on my first day back and had to leave the office for another few days. It took me weeks to feel any sense of calm but it was worth the effort. This site helped me so much too.

    I would say if you have any hobbies, maybe absorb yourself in them starting slowly. They're hobbies for a reason because they bring you joy so find the joy in them again. And make the effort to continue that joy after work when you go back.

    I hope you feel better. xxxx

  • Thank you Dee . It's so great to know I'm not alone . I will take your advice and get exercising .In the past I exercised greatly , but recently have. Not . The affirmations sound good too will also give them a try . Thanks again

  • Thank you Mandy I am overwhelmed with the support . I think taking and accepting time for me will help . My partner doesn't understand and I find myself withdrawing from him . It's like you have to try and fix this. Going to try and get out today. And I love tea too

  • Hi this is a first for me but I wanted to share my experience in the hope that it will help you and others. You are not alone and please don't lose sight of the fact that you will get better. Try to eat well and drink lots of water. Set small goals such as a ten minute walk then build up as you get stronger. It does take a while for the medications to work. I found it helpful to write down how I was feeling when things were really bad then I had a shower and practised relaxing - hard at first but it does help take care love eve39

  • Hi Cloudy,

    The antidepressant medication can take up to 6-7 weeks for some people before it starts to 'kick in'. I suppose it varies with different people, but keep in there. ( I can't read on your post if you have started on any medication yet), so if you're not feeling any better see your GP about this.

    Some medication can make you feel worse at the start ( my experience anyway) but do carry on and it deffo gets better.

    Also Deecey had some sound advice. really good. Small steps to begin with and get your confidence built up. That is what gets a knock but it will come back.

    xx

  • Hi Cloudy

    Cant add more than whats said , hope you fell better soon hun

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Thanks all

  • Hi again cloudy

    Just wanted to say that my partner didn't understand and I withdrew from him and everyone for the first few weeks. I printed info for him to read so he could understand that this is not like a broken leg, you can't see it and it takes time to heal. Talk to your doctor if you don't feel better soon I needed to switch medications. Take care of yourself

    Love eve39

  • Thanks everyone for all the positive words . I never knew how much just knowing that others understand is great comfort . Got out and about today and also ensured I ate well . I also wrote ten positive affirmations and when I felt the negative thinking kicking in and rebutted them with more positive thoughts . I am also a Christian so I also wonder why me ?

  • I want anyone that is reading this to use it in the spirit it was intended,you might not agree with it and that's ok,but read it without bias and you might find something useful.

    I suffered ten years of depression myself,so I think I have earned the right to post it.

    Life's Not Fair

    Every human being on the planet has uttered these words, either to themselves or someone else at least once in their lifetime... and you know what, they were right.

    Now let's have a look at what happens when you have your head buried in the sand and think that life should be fair all of the time.

    Think carefully back to the time that those words were milling around inside your head. What was happening? I guarantee it wasn't pleasant, and I also guarantee it was something you had no control over.

    Now, think how long that same thought persisted. It might have been days or weeks. It might even be years, and you are still suffering even now.

    The next bit of this article is the bit you are not going to like but whether you like it or not, it is the undeniable truth. Life isn't fair, and when you are depressed, angry, jealous, or any other negative emotion, then you are in effect saying that the rules shouldn't apply to you... But they do, and no amount of bad temper or tantrums is going to change that. It may delay you accepting that... but it won't change it.

    Acceptance of the way things ACTUALLY are and not the way you would LIKE things to be is the key and will go a long way to shortening the time it takes for you get your life back on track.

    Let's get something straight here right from the outset. Acceptance does not mean this is something that you would have wanted to happen or that you forgive whomever or whatever is responsible for putting you in this place.

    This is about you accepting what is actually happening in the real world and accepting that unfortunately, just like every other human being, the rules apply to you as well; no matter how much you would like the opposite to be true.

    I suffered ten years of depression after a serious accident by not accepting this one simple truth and was only able to move on once I accepted the fact that life is not fair and the rules applied to me as well.

    Did I like accepting that fact? Definitely not, but it lifted me out of that dark place to where I am today.

    Believe me when I tell you it is neither noble nor brave to suffer in silence and hope that somehow things are going to get better all on their own. When you do this you are denying your own reality and storing up problems for later on.

    You can easily recognise if you are stuck in the life's not fair loop because you will be using phrases like, why me, what have I done to deserve this, etc.

    When you accept that life isn't fair and that sometimes bad things happen to good people, including you, then you will start looking for solutions rather than more problems that don't have an answer.

    If you don't know how to get to that place of acceptance then find someone who does. There is plenty of help out there, if you would only look for it.

    One place you will not find this kind of help is in a self-help book. You need to talk this through with someone who knows what they are talking about. This is a measure of strength, not weakness.

    I hope this article has inspired you to take action to get your life back. If so, I wish you luck on your journey.

    If not, then you are still thinking the rules STILL don't apply to you. If that is the case then all you have to look forward to is more of the same, regardless of how much you would like the opposite to be true.

    Sometimes, there is no fairy tale ending. Just like the end of this article.

  • interesting viewpoint , however , generalising that, only acceptance of a situation is the only way to move from it is the only way back to recovery is for me just an opinion not an absolute truth ,

    If it worked for you I'm glad , but im sure there are many including me who see the benefit in self help books , psycho analysis , Cbt and so much more .

    I asked why me , not because I was sticking my head in the sand only so I could learn from it for the future .

  • I do in many ways believe this, however, some people do not see it this way...therefore, they need alternatives that they believe will help. The mind is a powerful tool and we have the ability to heal ourselves, but some people need guidance on how to do this. But i do like this post because it does bluntly put it how it may be for some.

  • I really really hope that works for you,good luck on your journey.

  • I hope I did not offend you . My dad used to say " opinions are like birthdays , every one has one" . It's just a different view , but if all helps then surely it's a positive step . Any how , if I offended you then I sorry , hope you are well .

  • I know how you feel girl, depression.......so common. You may benefit from talking therapy, someone to listen and understand you. sometimes we go unseen and unheard in life, it all builds up inside and everyone just thinks were so happy, when really its eating us alive from the insides xx hope you get better xx

  • Hi i too feel the same way iam also new hear in fact only joined 5mins ago ive had an awfull lot happen in my life lately and know its what is causing the way iam feeling and i just pretend everything is fine smile an get on with it . but what i do is think of nice things things that have happened even if its not me they happened to it makes me smile and just one smile can make another .I read somewher that if u feel down go for a walk and smile at people passing just a little smile you will be amased how many people smile back and it makes u a little bit more happieryou;ll end up laughing ,Dont sit in and feel sorry for yopurself that makes it worse just put ur coat on an go the shop and see how many peolple u can make smile honest your day will feel brighter in fact just telling you this as put a smile on my face an ive cried all morning so thank you

  • Hi truth ,

    I agree getting out in the fresh air helps . For me it's z catch 22 position . I know in my head that exercise helps , smiling helps too , but when the dark dog arrives these are the very things that are just too hard to do .

    I have managed to stay at work and each day is a step for me forward . It has not been easy but hanging in there . I'm scottish so getting out usually also means a soaking with rain lol . Should not complain we do have plenty water .

    Try getting the emotions out by writing it down . When I was carrying a hurt from my past , ie my ex hurt me , then I wrote him a letter getting all my anger , sadness out . Then when I was ready I set fire to it and subsequently let go of him and the hurt . Just something that helped for me .

    One day at a time -

    Hope today is full of smiles in the inside and out for you .

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