Is anxiety making me feel like I'm falling out of love?

[beffyboos]

When I was about 6, I used to tell my mum that I'd be fine if she died and then worry and worry about what this meant. I knew, and she knew that I would NOT be fine. But convinced myself that I would in a cycle of worry so that the worries almost became reality. Now I am worried and have been freaking out that I'm falling out of love with my long term boyfriend who is absolutely amazing. Could this be the same kind of thing and please, if you've experienced anything along these lines, contact me! I'm so worried, its been going on for months now. There are quite a few additional stresses in my life, but I seem not.to worry and think about those... Any ideas? Thank you...

[Hidden]

It could be, as we worry about everything, then start putting up our defences.

Also when we are run down, we dont have any love to give out, and are scared to recieve it as well.

If you get the anxiety dealt with, things will just take their course and all will be well, above all dont start fighting these symptoms, as that will make it bigger.

Relax, enjoy the day with your partner and dont expect anything, just hang out with each other, appreciate what you HAVE not what you think you want/need.

The grass is not always greener on the other side

Wishing you well

B

xxx

[beffyboos in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! But i have no idea whether I'm actually falling out of love, or whether its my worries causing these thoughts that I've never had before..? xx

[Hidden in reply to beffyboos]

It sounds like the anxiety/depression, I've experienced it too...........

[Hidden]

It will be your worries causing these thoughts,I get them .

[Hidden]

I've experienced this many times. When my anxiety/depression was really bad last year I completely shut down, felt numb, pushed everyone away and told myself I'd be fine if I was on my own ( I wouldn't have been). I'm feeling so much better now and my feelings have returned. Ive needed meds and therapy to get me where i am now. talk to your gp about how you are feeling dont struggle on. Take care love eve x

[beffyboos in reply to Hidden]

Eve can you message me about this?x

[Pickle165]

i understand most of what you are saying and can relate to some. ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years and i know i love him very much but anxiety and depression has sencidized me to a degree and i am left wounding about how i really feel. its so hard to have a relationship anyway let alone when you have anxiety and depression smacked on top. x

[Hidden]

I have a long time partner and sometimes think he would be better without me and then I think I would be better without him,but I don't want to chance it incase I regret it,I believe it is only the anxiety that makes me think like that...

Better the devil you know....

[Hidden]

My Oh is suffering. He can go without speaking to me for days. He has just rung me and its been 6 days. He goes off into his own little world. We have just made a pact that he feels crap he at least txts to say that he is that way out and needs space. He just cant cope with things. Have you spoken to him about things. Its hard as a partner of a sufferer aswell. x

[beffyboos in reply to Hidden]

I've spoken to him through it all... Thank you for giving me the other perspective.. I can understand how confusing it can be on both parts.. x

[Rachms11]

I am going through the same thing. Glad to read other pols thoughts

[BB106]

I read somewhere once that the same area of your brain that controls sexual desire also controls anxiety and that it is virtually impossible for the feelings to coexist. So, if this is true, then while you are feeling worried and anxious you would not be able to feel desire at the same time. It is either one or the other. Perhaps if you found a way to quiet your anxiety then the desire would be able to re-emerge. On the other hand, perhaps you need to examine what you really feel for this person. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

[CaptainCrunch]

I just now saw this was a post from 4 years ago and I feel silly for responding now. But I hope my experiences may at least help others that follow this post.

Hello BeffyBoos, I have been married for over 20 years. I can tell you firmly that Love is not a feeling it is a choice. I have Loved my wife extraordinarily, and I have hated her and despised her as well. She is a broken fallible human being just like myself. She makes horrible mistakes, she has disappointed me time and time again. But I choose to love her unconditionally. This means I have to forgive and work hard for my marriage. Eros Loves is all about feelings. It deals with the flesh and is all about what one can get out of the relationship and what will make your self happy. That type of relationship doesn't exist because you can't depend on someone else for your happiness. They are not God. They are flawed humans. I think this is why there is so much divorce. But marriage is hard and also the most beautiful and rewarding gift God gives us. We even together have created life. We have three beautiful babies that we both Love and I am there father and she is there Mother no matter how we feel. Feelings can fade and grow but promises and commitment are the curbs of the road that couples keep bumping against putting us back on the road so we can keeping moving us forward over that next hill. Sorry... I get on a bit of a soapbox when it comes to marriage or loving your spouse.

[Nora-B in reply to CaptainCrunch]

Well said CaptainCrunch. I know this is an old post but so wonderful and true. Sometimes we have to mess up.before we learn.

[veni_may]

Hi, I am aware that it has been 7 years now but I'm in a very similar situation. I am wondering, did you stay together? Was it just anxiety? I am going through a similar thing right now but I have chosen to fight my anxiety. I don't know if I'll succeed because my thoughts keep getting darker.