So many people suffer from Agrophobia which ties them to their homes sometimes for years,

For a long time I was frightened of heights until I was forced into taking a job as a handyman/gardener, I was expected to climb to a height of some twenty feet to cut back the Ivy why clung to the walls of the house, the way I overcame my fear was to go up the ladder one step and go back down, two steps and back down, I did this higher and higher until I got to the required height and stayed there, slowly I cut the Ivy and in doing this every fortnight I overcame my fear,,,,,for the person with Agrophobia and any other fear it has to be the same, small steps bring confidence and confidence pushes unhealthy fear out of your life,,if you cannot do this alone, get a real friend who will positively help you forward in your quest for freedom,,a 'friend' who advises you to stay as you are is not the friend you want, we are all born free without hang ups, we have to rediscover that inner freedom which makes us truly free in a world gone mad..

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  • HI Aura x I'm a agoraphobic have been now for just over a year, cannot even get out to the doctors without major meltdown. I have tried to boost my confidence in all ways to get my life back, read books had therapy until one day I decided the only way was indeed to bite the bullet so to speak. I had a few days of crying and despair over doing it but eventually got out. The experience was awful but I vowed to carry on, the next day was infact easier and the day after easier still, however then came the bad day and down the ladder I fell, the panic consumed and I run and hid. But I did try to re climb tat ladder and went out again, but the panic consumed immediately and so I hid again. I will try again but for now all confidence i built is shattered and I did all of this with my hubby for support x I agree that facing the fear will get you better, but for me sadly its gonna take a long time I think. Well done on facing your fear though xx Donver x

  • Hi Donver 22, well done for you taking the initiative,however, with regards the panic attacks, is it because a person is thinking too much of how one comes across to other people ? I have had this myself for a long time and now I have been through all the counselling etc, I have come to terms with myself in that I have the right to exist in the way that I want to, I feel for you that after three days the panic set in, I really would like to understand why, there has to be a cause and effect, what is it at the root of your panic ?

  • I think as has been said that it depends on a persons path as to how and why they suffer with the panic. I do tend to over think the people outside but this is due to a specific reason. I have had anxiety near enough all my life the agoraphobic part the newest part of it. I am a firm believer that everyone has the right to be who they are, but sometimes people make it impossible by putting them down for it. I have not got a clue what is at the root of my panic its obvious it stems from childhood as It started when was age 5 but whatever the reason Im clueless. Donver x

  • Donver22, seven years ago I had severe abuse at work which was relentless and left me a wreck, I was under the mental health for some time and the one thing that stood out for me was the doctor advising me to attend a three month course of assertiveness training which I agreed to,,there were about fifteen on the course and one of the things we all had in common was that we couldn't say no to people's demands, we all were being 'put down' and lacked self esteem,,over the next three months we learnt how to respect ourselves and to deal with people with firmness and respect, we learnt the psychology both of ourselves and of other people,,at the end of the course a few people had dropped out not being able to deal with it,however, for me it was the start of a study into psychopathic and Narcissistic behaviour patterns and I have never looked back,,assertiveness training should be introduced into the school curriculum because it teaches understanding and respect of oneself and of other people,,you say that your panic started at age 5,,for myself the training showed clearly that my childhood was a complete mess up, however I can now look from the inside out with understanding and I automatically assess people psychologically as i go about my daily business and foolish talk slides off my back like butter from a knife,,keep fighting but fight for understanding and it will come.x

  • Hi

    I am glad you over came your fear of heights :-)

    I suffer with agoraphobia which can be quite complex as it can come with a multitude of things which unless you have suffered from it can be hard to explain

    I do believe there will be light at the end of the tunnel & we are all aiming for it & will get there , maybe different paths will need to be taken at different speeds but the end result will be the same to over come our fear

    I am glad you found the path for you & it has worked , I hope it long continues :-)

    Take Care

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Hi Whywhy, because I have a personal friend who suffers from this condition I am really interested to hear from others who are bravely trying to overcome by various means, my friend's agrophobia is due to a real fear due to circumstances in the area where we are,her fear is real but is there a base fear in general ? can we expand and talk about this ?

  • Hi auralius

    It can be quite complex as I have said to talk about & there can be all different reasons to why someone becomes agoraphobic & personally I feel if we can get to the core of those reasons & deal with them it can be a good start to over coming this

    I wish your friend lots of luck & it is admirable that you wish to help them , maybe you can give them the link to this site & by talking to others that will relate to them may help

    Have a lovely evening :-)

    xxx

  • thank you whywhy and I will certainly do this x

  • Hi Auralius

    Your post reminded me of some advice I was given by he counsellor who treated me for my ptsd. I had a particular fear of supermarkets & had experienced panic attacks while there. I should probably say at this point that I lived alone.

    She told me to go up the 1st aisle then come back to the entrance, look at it & remind myself, 'I can leave at any time'. I continued this at each aisle, it helped. As you say, small steps.

    Having said that I was very lucky in that my ptsd was caused by an incident at work & they had specialist counsellors on retainer for such situations. I had the benefit of her help for almost 12 months. She came to my home & she was wonderful, often staying much longer than her paid for hour. With her help I progressed from someone who would not shower & wear the same clothes for a week, not go out unless unavoidable & with no desire to go on, to a functioning adult.

    The final piece of the puzzle for me was the unanticipated arrival of a daughter. Suddenly I had someone totally dependant on me, (her father disappeared) there was no alternative. If she was to be fed, clothed etc then I HAD to do it. I always say, my daughter saved my life, without her I probably would have turned back to not going out & not caring really.

    My apologies for the long reply. It is, of course, an interesting topic. My point is, while I credit my daughter's arrival for overcoming (to some extent) my anxiety & fears, I doubt very much that it would have been possible without the excellent help I received from that counsellor first.

    Well done for facing your fear of heights, I am delighted you found a way that worked for you. Unfortunately, as you know, we are all different & if there was one guaranteed way to beat this we'd all be doing it.

    Hope your friend finds a way that works

    x

  • Hi Thomson1898,congratulations on the arrival of your daughter, though as you say we are all different,isn't it to a large extent the forgetting of oneself, not being self absorbed and, as you had to do for the sake of your daughter focusing your mind on her dependancy of you,,on the subject of ptsd,there is a technique called EMDR which replicates rem sleep pattern, it involves moving the eyes to the right and to the left and blinking as fast as possible, this should be done at any time in the day when flashbacks etc are a problem..thanks for the reply.x

  • Hi Auralius

    I have not been able to go out alone for the last 10 years until recently when I decided that I wanted at least some of my life back. I am doing small journeys with my daughter, as I live on a farm in a small village I have started to walk the perimeter of the fields with the dogs,it is only a small breakthrough but like you I am determined to keep moving forwards. Thank you for sharing your bravery, it has truly inspired me to believe there is hope.

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