Do relationships work if your not normale

[Artsmithy]

i told my girlfriend i had suffered with anixitiy and she just said after a short pause "i can be in a relationship with someone who is anxious your going to drag me down with you" i feel rubish, Were not together, i have meet some else but i feel that now i cant open up o anyone on how i feeling

[thunderacer]

Well said muffinchops, Artsmithy, she was the one that isn't normal and you are better off without, most people have compassion and would want to make their partners happier, it just shows what a self obsessed selfish girl she was! Sorry if i am wrong! Good luck and i believe you are better to get things out in the open as soon as appropriate, it saves hurt later if they don't understand. Steve

[Wildmage]

You are perfectly normal, never think you are not. Having Anxiety does not make you a bad person or abnormal in anyway. Anxiety is just nerves that have been over stressed, over thinking things and this makes a person feel shaky and unsure. A person with anxiety is not set like this forever. You just have to keep building your own confidence up and relax more. Don't force yourself to get well, this won't work, just relax and try not to over think everything.

This girl sounds like she has no idea what anxiety is...if she did she would understand. Anyone who does not understand, is not worth your time. I am sure you are a fine young man and will/or have met the right person for you....

[suffolkrelic]

Similar happened to me, I was actually engaged, but she lost patience with me and left and married someone else. It’s still heart breaking to think about even now. I’ve asked myself if it was my fault, expecting her to be patient, that I drove her away with my problems. Been lonely since.

[sthemotlee]

Normal is subjective. Frankly normal as a common standard is dependent on where you live, and who you live and work with. You are confusing your idea of normal with the shallow relationship ideas of your ex girlfriend. Perhaps life will eventually expand for her. For yourself, you must resist opening up to friends and girlfriends until you have built a meaning full relatuinship. With some people, I have heard it said that their relationship was almost immediately two people on the same planet, and able to understand each other including their deepest feelings. But in normal life, it takes time to learn about each other and then a time will arrive when your communications will be able to be mutually shared and understood. Please be patient. There is no point jumping the gun Life has its own way of taking you where you want to go. Lighten up and enjoy what life has to offer you. Best wishes.

[formidible]

If someone really loves you they would accept you warts and all. Its appalling what she did to you and makes you wonder why she was in the relationship in the first place. You don't need that kind of person or treatment - what you need is care and understanding. I'm sure you will get the help you need without her.

[Hidden]

. I have been married 20 years & suffered with anxiety , told hubby after a few dates & its never put him of , if you get a good one & there are some , they see the good things in us & we all are good people , that out weighs the anxiety we suffer from & they love us no matter what

So I say yes , relationships Can work , even when you suffer with anxiety , if you are lucky & find a good one & you will never no unless you tell them & eventually we have to as its hard to go undercover with this when the time is right , tell her , you will see then if this is someone that is right for you

love

whywhy

xxx

[rose12]

Thats awful and why would she be dragged down? Anxiety doesn't have to affect the other person in a negative way. If someone opened up to me I would support them . Ofcourse if someone has extreme behaviour it could be difficult I guess. Anyway I think you have to be open as it comes out anyway so maybe best to know where you stand from the beginning. I have been known to tell someone on the first date but that because I blush and feel like I want to explain. If someone cant cope with it is is goodbye I am afraid . Hope that helps x

[robbie12]

Ditto what everyone else has said.Also,what exactly is 'normal' anyway? The people on anxiety uk share a common identity,we suffer from the condition of anxiety.We could argue that here,we are all normal.

As for your girlfriend,if she really cared she would be supportive no matter what.You are better off without her and I might dare to suggest that it could be her dragging you down rather than the other way.Take good care and know you are among friends here.

[Hidden]

hi artsmithy. what fantastic replies to your question. every reply was spot on.just must agree with every reply, the spirit from this site is awesome, by the way she was an arse...e

[Artsmithy]

Thanks everyone for your great relays, reading them are very helpful and has mad me feel more positive.

[Artsmithy]

Hey, thank you ever so much for your kind relpy.