So this is my first time i've signed up to anything like this.
And it kind of feels good to speak out to the unknown. I do have a good supportive network around me but its so refreshing to just type away everything.
So whats got me to here? Simple, i finally cracked. From last year when i miscarried, now i know it was a blessing in disguise (harsh that sounds but i mean it in the nicest way possible).. me and my partner are not ready in no shape or form for a child but it still wasn't pleasant to go through. Then i found out after christmas my boyfriend was texting his ex AGAIN may i add, and this time with pictures, god i've made him out to be awful but we got through it. Then there was an incident where we had to move back to my parents from his parents, and being back here is ok, but im 21 and it feels like ive taken a step backwards and now i feel a bit like a child. Then me and my partner found out we have both contracted genital warts from my previous partner and it took nearly a year to make an appearance. Safe to say i was absolutely devastated, i've never had anything like that before in my life and it scared me, now me and my partner are rarely intimate because i feel disgusting, unattractive and i feel ashamed. He however is just patient as ever. My god that man has so much patience its unreal. And out of all of this that was happening the only good thing that was going for me was my job, i work in the fast food industry but i (did) love it, and i was looking to go up further, so i was buzzing when my area manager met me to discuss my future, i was on a high it was exactly what i needed, then i went into work the next day and i found out that i failed on out secret shop! Everything i said and my efforts i put into my job felt like it had just gone down the drain. Thats when i really started to realise my anxiety was creeping back with a vengence. And its done that big time, i can't even begin to explain how i feel (felt) i was being physically ill to the point where work had to send me home. Everyone started to get worried about me then my mum came and spoke to me to which i then completely broke and told her everything. I felt better for it, and she took me to the doctors to which they have put me on citalopram. And in my own choice i haven't took them yet. Because i do feel better and i don't want to rely on tablets and become a vegetable. Jeeez i've rambled a bit haven't i??
So this is why i've come here. To rant and speak to others about mine and other's concerns.
Anxiety and depression is the lonliest thing in the world even if you do have the best family and friends like i have. Now im not alone.
I hope to come back to this soon.
Written by
char239
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Thankyou tara i've just been having a look around and everyone is just so understanding. Its so refreshing!!
Looking forward to getting back on track and helping others!
Hi there,sometimes I feel like im going to explode in a fit of rage,other times I want to break down in tears,i count to ten and visit this site,it somehow calms me a little for whatever reason.Maybe the fact that there are many of us feeling this way is a help to us all,either way keep visiting,it helps,take care.
Yeah its soo nice to know i've got this to turn to when i just need to let it all out, knowing there are so many people that feel like i do.
Your right
Thankyou, you too!
Welcome char & Tara
You will get lots of support on here from people that understand , keep talking
Love
whywhy
xxx
Hello char and welcome we are all here for each other so never feel alone in how you feeling just have a rant or ask a question and someone will try to help. You have got a lot on your plate hun. Meds are a personal choice but they can help to prop you up until you feel stronger. Let us know how you are when you can take care love eve x
Hi Char and welcome to Anxiety UK.You are among friends here.
Hi and welcome Char. I haven't been here long myself and have found a great bunch of people here.
I will say though that Doctors these days are very aware that dependence on drugs is to be avoided. Most of the newer drugs are very different from the old days. Its not a case of being drugged up but to raise the level of serotonin in the brain which should result in your feeling a lot better. Once you are feeling better it is much easier to try and sort out your problems.
Bev x
Welcome char, my daughter misscarried, and like you it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, she is no longer with the bloke but has found someone more supportive now. I contracted hep c from my former partner of 21yrs, my daughters dad who I split with 11yrs ago and he passed on 2 weeks ago. When I met my girlfriend who I have been with now for 10 yrs, we lived with her parents which I found really hard going. Do not despair, you will find your way. Nothing stays the same and things do get better. You will find friends on this site and we do care so please keep posting your thoughts and feelings xxx cookie
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i've just been having a look around and everyone is just so understanding. Its so refreshing!! 
Day of the party has dawned
Something new every single day.. 
Completely unsure and worried
First panic attack/too scared to sleep
