My first post- New year

[Jaimie]

Its new years eve, im 16 and am sat on my own watching tv. I was going to go to a party, but after walking there outside the door anxiety got the better of me. I suddenly freaked out and i had to leave, now im just in my house feeling stupid that i didn't go, but i just cant face going. Thoughts?

[fadedlizard]

Hi Jaimie,

New Years Eve seems to be bringing a lot of newbies to the site - I'm sure there's no connection!!!!!

Seriously though it is the most awful feeling - all dressed up and suddenly you can't get through the door. Now not only are you anxious you're beating yourself because you feel you should have been able to do it!!! After all it's only a party ~ "ONLY" Jaimie!!! Believe me, there is no only about it. Parties must be one of the most stressful things out there - and that's before you factor in your anxiety problems.

If it was me I'd curl up in front of the tv (where do you think I am) and read a few of the posts on here. You'll find a wealth of advice and support. You are going to get through this. This is NOT how you will spend every new years from now on, I promise. But there is an alternative ~ can you phone a friend who's at the party and ask them to come and meet you so you can go in together? Just a thought.

Love and best wishes,

Lizard.x

[Jaimie in reply to fadedlizard]

Thanks Lizard, I've calmed down a bit, sat in front of some rubbish on the TV (: This is an interesting site to be sure, but reading though these posts help you see how other people have it worse and stuff. Makes my problems seem a lot more manageable (:

[fadedlizard in reply to Jaimie]

Glad you're feeling better.

Rose is definitely right, hang around and you'll see this really is the best support network in the world

[BriarRose]

Hi, Jaimie - nothing much to add to Lizard;s brilliant post - yeah, I'm curled up in front of the tv too lol - but she's right, parties can be horribly stressful! I can (and have) done public speaking, a bit of acting - but chuck me in a party and I'm hidng in the corner wishing i was home with a book - and I'm old enough to be your (great?) grandmother lol!

Suggestion - put the box on, watch the fireworks - always brilliant over the Thames, listen to Big Ben, and say "Hello, 2013, you're going to be a great year for me, and I'm going to see you out in style in a year's time!"

Happy New Year, hun, and welcome to the best support network in the universe!!!!

Love

Rose

xxxxxx

[Jaimie in reply to BriarRose]

Haha, thanks. I haven't done any acting since my anxiety began about four months ago, Nearly passed out backstage of a pantomime, had to sit outside and miss the final performance ): I've been building up confidence ever since

[fadedlizard in reply to BriarRose]

Hope you're enjoying the fireworks, Rose.x

[BriarRose in reply to fadedlizard]

Thanks, Lizard, loved 'em! Happy new Year! xxx

[Hidden in reply to BriarRose]

Rose. I love the expression 'curled up'. Reminds me of a cat. We can learn so much from cats. When tired they sleep, when playful they play. Heads down and 'sod the lot of them' and off to sleep. No tossing and turning, thoughts going over in their minds. Yes, we can learn a lot. Happy New Year, Rose. love. j.

[BriarRose in reply to Hidden]

Yep, Jonathan, I'm coming back as a cat! xxx

[BriarRose]

It'll come, hun! xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi Jamie

16 a difficult age , most of your mates may enjoy a party & all that goes with it & you may just not be ready yet , & thats why you feel anxious

I have a son who is now nearly 19 & he never went to parties when others were , he just didnt feel ready & even now he is legal to go out & drink he has only been about 6 times , only has a couple of drinks & is back early , he enjoys it , but like he says "its just not his thing " it doesnt do alot for him , he would rather go to a football match , but that is fine , there is nothing wrong with him , but he just doesnt go with the flow , if its not what he wants to do , which I think he is very sensible & he is doing well in life & has friends & a girlfriend etc

Now if you really wanted to be at that party but you just couldnt do it or you get anxious over other things as well , can you talk to your mum & dad about it , as we do understand & I am sure they would have good advice & support you

You are still young & like Lizard says there will be plenty more New Years !

To much pressure can be put on young ones nowadays & when you are not ready , which there will be more than you feel that way , it leaves you feeling down , but you shouldnt

Maybe you are wondering what to say to your mates if they ask where you were , if you feel you cannot tell the truth , well on this occassion I would just say I started to make my way there but started feeling unwell & had to go home , but if you have a close friend you can trust then tell them the truth & next time you can ask them to meet you

I hope you can talk to your mum & dad though how you are feeling

You can always come on here though & people will listen to you

Happy New Year

whywhy

[Jaimie in reply to Hidden]

Thanks whywhy , What you said has made a lot of sense. Before I went on sites like this, I spent a while 'window shopping' on the internet, seeing other people anxiety problems and how they have dealt with them. The one thing they could all agree on is that you must tell people, so from the start I have told my parents, and friends close enough to be trusted. I have never really felt worried about work before- My older sister was two years above me academically, so my workload seemed pretty insignificant compared to hers. I'm not usually worried about parties or anything either, just to night for some reason ):

[Hidden]

Well thats really good to hear that you have good parents & close friends you can confide in , keep telling them , along with talking on here if it helps , you are still young , a couple more years you may be totally different in how you feel about things , but do things when you want & dont feel pressured , you have all the time in the world !

Just put tonight down to one of those things , sometimes there is no explanation

I have every faith you will grow into a lovely confident young man !

whywhy

[Hidden]

Hi Jaimie and welcome to this site. You will find a lot of people suffer anxiety, so you're not alone, and never will be. There are a lot of nice people on here who will give you sound advice and sometimes a shoulder to cry on.

All the best for the new year.

Lin x

[Lindenlea]

Lindenlea I know the feelings only to well, I should have gone to my own sons to christmas dinner, but as much as I wanted to go, ( and I really did ) he was coming to pick me up, but my husband has altizheimers, and my cousin was coming tosit with himin our home as he is unable to walk, and eat normal food I have to mash it allup, bless him, I suffer from anxiety many years and cant even go out alone, or stay alone at any time, so I rang and told my dear son, I am sorry but I could not make it, .my thoughts were with him and family, but it was too much for me to do. I would so loved to have gone.