Completely unsure and worried

[shadow45]

Here i sit at 9 20am I have to be at work in one hour and I am in the dumper. I just can't get past the feeling I am not going to be able to do this job I think I have taken on a job in a far too busy a place Its opening day and its going to be mad. I know I will have help but my anxiety has pushed all my knowledge out of my head how d o I do this how do I do that It's like i've forgotten everything I know about cooking I just want to go and tell them I can't do it But then what I just come home and sit in front to=f the tv all day again Oh man I wish this was over over over. If I don't d o this job what lies ahead for me I still have terrible loneliness as well I wake up to it everyday realizing that there is no one within 500 miles that I love I miss my parents so much now I know I am just a little boy trapped inside a mans body .How am I going to get through this today.. I took my Xanax and it should help me with the worst of the anxiety.Ill go and try to make the best of it But when I think Ill have to be there for 8 hours I just can't see how Ill do it. These are the times I wish I believed in God so I could pray to Him for some help I keep thinking why did I take this job on I was ready to move out of this town I had it all arranged then I got this job and changed my plans now I feel like imade a huge mistake I just want to get into my car and drive away from all this mess...But where would I go Im so lost right now... and I have to go into a busy kitchen and try and pull myself together. Please God help me....

[Hidden]

Hi Steve.

Come on mate,once you get to work and get into the swing of things you will wonder why you were worried at all.Take your xanax and a deep breath and go for it.I have every faith in you as have everyone else on here.

Be strong Kenny

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

I need that... you made my day Kenny.... good on ya mate steve

[Hidden]

HI Steve x You can do it I know you can, this is the first step to the rest of your life and it can be done xx Once you are there you will not have time to think and worry about anxiety and half of the problem with anxiety is the mind having time to over think x You will be back at home before you know it smiling about your first great day xx Go for it I know you can do it x Your never alone we are all here, if you need us x Donna x

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Feeling like a bit of an arse ... it all went really well ....I just fell into place automatically. How are you these days/... much love steve

[Hidden]

Hello Steve

I can imagine your fear , I think with anxiety comes lots of self doubt !

All the what if's are endless , yet most of the time not justified , but in are heads they are very much so & very real

Sometimes the fear causing the anxiety is a lot to do with if we fail what will others think about us , when really it does not matter what they think , but to us with low self esteem it seems the worse thing that could happen if we fail & we get negatives feedback from others

Go today & do your best , whatever that turns out to be you will have achieved a huge goal because you will have faced the fear & pushed the anxiety to one side , even if just for today & then see what tomorrow brings

I don't know if there is a God but you can pray to anything that maybe out there , sometimes I pray to loved ones I have lost to help me , or a star in the sky anything , it really doesn't matter what it is , but it can give you comfort

Wishing you lots of luck , you can do this !

Look forward to hearing how successful you were

Take care

Munchies

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

I did think of it as a vacation from the daily ...BS.... Something came over me as I was leaving the house and I just knew it was going to be ok... cheers steve

[Yummimummi]

Hey Steve

Bless you, it is easy to run isn't it.

Anxiety feeds off fear, so as hard as it is you need to face your fear.

You've done really well so far, so be proud of the steps that you have made

Once you get into work, just mention how you are feeling. It is normal to feel some anxiety when starting a new job. Try to keep in mind your breathing and keep things calm if you can. Once you have done this a few times and established a routine and made new friends, it will get easier, I promise

Who knows you probably start going out in the evening with your new friends and start enjoying yourself

I wish you luck and hugs xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Yummimummi]

You are very sweet Thank you for this much love steve

[Hidden]

hi steve,you are always going to be so nervous starting a new job, even tho you have worked as a chef before, you are facing your anxiety head on, so well done for that, if you can manage that initial first hour in the kitchen, am sure it will all start to come back to you, best of luck on your new start. jasper

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Jasper, It all went so well Just flowed through the day from one thing to the next. Sous chef asked if I would like to make the Pasta special for the dining room So all in all it went so much better than I could have imagined....bless you much love steve

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

well done steve, so proud of you. jasper x

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

Not been about,so I've just read your posts,You did so well,understandably you were scared and unsure,everyone us with a new job,and with our anxiety etc,it's 10 times worse,but hey you got through with flying colours and sounded as if you enjoyed it.

Great to hear.Love Anne xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

I had a bit of a blip today I get to work and the sous chef is still going on about how Ill be running the kitchen when he has his days off. So I went to the chef again and laid out exactly what I thought I was capable of. The chef shared with me a terrible story about his daughter and then anxiety that was born from it So he understands where I am coming from..... We1ll see how tomorrow goes....steve

[nothingwrong]

Hope it went well and gives you the confidence to carry on . once you feel comfortable in there you'll probably start having a laugh with colleagues and won't even think about yourself at all. Don't forget to use this to your advantage keep your mind focused on the job , best of luck.

[Hidden]

Well done Steve, you should be so....proud of yourself.

Eunice xx