need to escape!!

Hi all been a few weeks in a recap after a crap life and a few personal stressful situations im a fellow anexity sufferer. my head is so full of crap i could bore u all night and never scratch the surface. i usually am a slave to ocd from my curtains being wonky stupid yes i know to i mark on a wall meaning the whole thing gets scrubbed. but a month ago i deceided bugger off i need a life, now my aniexity only came back big time in oct but since then ive been house bound i was given propalane but i dont like them so i take one a day. but tyou know what since my bugger off stage i can say no attacks at all on a big scale a few on a smaller scale but ive choose to ignore them . i cannot see my councellor cos i cannot leav the house and unless i wanna so away with myself im not alud them at my home. so im asking any ideas the next step is getting out. i want my life back my hubby is very ill and my 2 kids have had near death experience n life is to short bloody hell them 3 are ill and they never complain life is short for them more than me and i do feel guilt that im being like this yet they can live but i cannot break the barrier. i go outside but automatically shut the gate as if to shut out the world. now the thing is i need help fast as my hubby expectin me to go to his mums in april other end of country and if i dont ill be frowned on. also the people round my area are spreading rumurs that me n the hub are divorced n ive moved away. as a surprise to the mum in law has booked me a 2 week break in spain in july hellppp. so please suggestions thaks in advance donver x

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Hi donver

I to have OCD , so I no what it is like , i do think its an add on to anxiety

Dont feel bad as other loved ones are ill & you feel you shouldnt feel this way , this to is an illness & you will just give yourself more pressure

I am about to have counselling of some sort & they have agreed to come here , at least to start with , i have a fear of going out , have a fear of people coming to the house as well , but out of them both I can cope better with them coming here ...I would persue that issue with them , you should be given help & for a while they can & should come to you , have a word with them or GP

I can understand about the breaks that are planned , i would be the same , stop in the day though , dont think about what is coming up in the near future or we wind ourselves up so much more

Take small steps , dont try taking it all on at once

Ignore people around your area , I no its easy for me to say , but who are they , nobody , just people , let them talk if they have nothing better to do , they are sad & have problems if that's what they do , but unlike you , they are not trying to do anything about theirs

Keep posting & get support

Love

whywhy

xxx

[sheffieldwed]

Ah love sounds like you having a really bad time and when your children are ill as well this must put great strain on you do you think your anxiety is due to this i started with mine only a couple of months ago and i had a bad virus i did lose my dad 9 years ago which i dont think i properly grieved for and focused on my poor mum and my 3 young children it has hit home he is never coming back and this hurts like hell and has really knocked me for six setting panic attacks off maybe you need to go back to your gp i was on them but have now gone onto citalopram its been 5 weeks and do feel better as i was at the point of not driving my OH had to take hols off so he could drive me to work and stay with me luckily its my own cleaning business and the people knew it wasnt like me to be like this and was so understanding my gp also said i needed to fight my own fears i started driving close distance where i felt safe taking my phone with me for reassurance and all my friends and family was on standby if i needed them dont get me wrong my anxiety is still here and my panic attacks still come but i am slowly tackling them i have a monitor fitted tmw as i have health anxiety after losing my father with a heart attack and fear i will be the same but i need to keep going for my 3 young children and focusing on their needs a little more now please go back to your gp and take one step at a time and all the people on here are so lovely they will help you they have me and WHYWHY WHERE ARE YOU YOUR USUALLY 1ST HUN xxxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to sheffieldwed]

Went in Roses garden

xxx

[sheffieldwed]

Ok whywhy thought you had left let you off hun xxxx

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Hi thank you both im thinking whywhy that i need to get a diff doctor because all i get off mine is unless im suicidal and they register me with the mental health act im on my own or i come to them my choice. ive tried ignoring things unfort i always have tended to take things to heart. ive tried going out in the car but i get the feeling of been travel sick never had that before but i guess its because im aware people are looking at me or imt hinking that. my family outside my hubby on my side dont care about my illness they rhink im silly they are all confident people and always have tret me diff from being small diff dad thing i guess funny because my mam was a bad anexity sufferer and she got over it but now isnt willing to help me. im tryin to forget the hols n such but i dont think nthe hubby understands ive never flown before n this is adding to the anexity x thank you again

[sheffieldwed]

Ah love i think really you arnt getting enough support from your gp and if i was you i would get a second opinion i was lucky my gp has been really understanding and if i have asked him for something he has agreed like my heart monitor i asked for it for reassurance sometimes love you have to ask to get something in this world or you dont get i was really nervous and first couple of times took my partner because i thought he would just laugh at me behind my back or just refuse me now i go and ask if i want help and my gp told me he would rather me come as many times as i need to try and get me back on the right road so make an appointment and take your hubby for support until you have the confidence to go alone i was on same meds as you and didnt find they was helping so he switched me to citalopram which at the moment seen to be helping fingers crossed let me know how you do but dont leave it for it to get worse xxxxxxxxx