Anger and anxiety

I recently lost my sister for breast cancer. She was only 32 years old. We found out that there is a gene that runs in the family and my other sisters have it. They had to undertake a double mastectomy as a preventive measure. I am the older and the only one that does not have the gene. I am struggling with it. I should be happy but I keep asking myself why.

I have been having serious anger problems and my husband has asked for a divorce. I need to try and control my anxiety and my fear. And to control my temper. I feel like I am angry all the time, even tough I have everything to be happy!

I don't know what to do. Silly things make me start an argument. I am swearing, shouting and always throwing things around. My husband said he is fed up of being my emotional punch bag.

Can anybody please help me?


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7 Replies

  • Loosing someone to cancer is hard so so many emotions going on its hard to cope. Have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy or meds or anything? Has your husband been supportive? Do you have anyone near?

  • Dear Lincsbins,

    I am sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that you are going through difficult times.

    The anger problem that you mention sounds familiar to me. However, please bare in mind that your story may be different than mine.

    I arranged private councelling( with encouragement) and am now more aware of the reasons behind my anger problems(issues from my past), and am starting to come to terms with them, and more aware of them. I have also spoken to my GP and accepted medication, Citralopam.

    I have also attended an anger control training course through MIND. I also attended courses on 'anger without aggression' at Citylit college. I also write in a diary. I have also practiced a lot to get in touch with my feelings. All these things have taken me approximately 2 years.

    I am now more aware of how i feel and am therefore more in control.

    I wish you well .

    Kindest regards,


  • He was very supportive throughout it but I just think he hit fed up of my tantrums. And I am too ashamed to tell my family about it, I feel they already have too much to cope.

    I have tried several coping technics but when I loose it, there is no way to stop me.

    I can't help but thinking that because I don't have the gene it means that something even worse will happen to me. I am scared of life, and even though I am not suicidal, sometimes I wish I die. I just wish I could take vacations of myself.

    I never took any medicine for depression or anxiety, but I have booked am appointment with my gp. Do you think medicines really help?

  • Thank you Marcus. I am feeling overwhelmed with life. Did the medication really helped you? And it's nice to know that I am not a lost cause.

    I will seek help from my GP am try some yoga to keep my anger under control.

    Best regards and hope you keep well!

  • Dear Lincsbins,

    You are most welcome. I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. The medication did help.

    Thank you. I wish you all the very best.

    Kindest regards,


  • in a marraige there are going to be the d word mentioned from time to time and maybe he feels if he mentions it you will magically snap out it . I know its not helpful but I feel that how your feeling is normal and I know Id feel the same. kickboxing might be worth a try for a release of the anger.

  • Ahh love you really are going through a bad time i too lost someone special my dad and it was the hardest day of my life saying goodbye to someone you love so much the time seems never ending when you just hope that you could see them once again i have found it so hard to cope without him and feel that my attacks have been brought on by this i too like you look for answers and sympathise with you the only thing that i try to focus on is my children but am still like you finding it difficult just putting my hope in my gp and all the lovely people on here that hopefully it will get better keep going you can do this xxx

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