So I have been dating the most wonderful unbelievable guy EVER for the past almost year. Suddenly one morning I woke up and my stomach started to feel off like nauseous off. I have had this before with my other ex around the EXACT same time (during september/october) and it just brought out a really bad side of me where I was always crying and just worrying constantly about my relationship whether i loved him or not and then once I calmed down I knew I loved him. This is now happening with this amazing man I am completely in love with. I go out of my way to do things for him I love being around him and kissing and holding each other all of that. But then my anxiety comes up ( I am guessing that is it) and my mind rushes and I am thinking "oh god I am not feeling that butterfly excitement anymore what is happening do I love him anymore do I not what if I don't I can't end this I couldn't ever." and my mind will rush until I somehow calm it down or cry to let go of all the tension and can relax and think clearly and I then think of how miserable and heartbroken I would be without him and it is like I have to re-convince my anxiety that it is all ok. I hate feeling this way I have talked to him about it and he has just told me he is always here for me to talk to and to listen to me and to work through this and if I ever want to break up just to tell him and just even hearing those words makes me want to cry and makes a pit in my stomach. It is like I don't trust myself to what I feel or if this is the honey moon phase being over and going into a real relationship which I am not used to either. Any advice would help. I am seeing a therapist but I really do not want to take medication but I will do anything to fix this. I love him way too much. Just the other day I was with him and I was all smiles and couldn't even feel anxiety. I was so excited to be around him and kiss him and just have him there and then we had a good night together I talked to him more about my anxiety and telling him how I am not used to the after honeymoon phase I always think there should be that butterfly crazy oh my goodness feeling or something is wrong or that I shouldn't be happy on my own doing things on my own or that I should always be thinking about him but that it is ok not to be doing all of that. I just was looking to see if anyone else has experienced this and what they recommend? I love him dearly I truly do but when my anxiety comes up I freak out and think I don't or what if I am only loving him because I am supposed to which makes no sense to me but to my anxiety it does.
Thanks for the support