I have given up on myself. I think I've tried everything out there and read everything on controlling panic/anxiety yet I wake with FEAR consuming me....why? because I dwell on death and poor health. Is it abnormal? YES! Can I control it? NO! I am fairly in control and comfortable when I go to bed at night. I wake with fear consuming me, fear of morbid thoughts of my death and ill health. Fear I will never be "normal" I am taking away any enjoyment from my own life. I have a supportive husband, who tries to reason with me to no avail. I'm on prescription meds. As for meditation, deep breathing and yoga.....I cannot get there! I feel very alone in this yet I do know so many suffer like I do. I want to wake looking forward to the new day, to laugh and smile, enjoy little things in life, to NOT shake with fear. I want to be in control. I feel like a pathetic failure, which I am. I go back to see my physciatrist next week...the poor man is not a miracle worker! He tries, but I don't think there is any hope. I don't believe I am depressed, just angry and scared ...scared to live, scared to die. Well THAT was a very depressing and pathetic. vent. I will now go and try to keep myself occupied so I don't think as much.....if there is an answer out there I wish someone would share it with me. Thank you for letting me vent.