Can someone guide me as I'm a bit confused?

[Babsywood]

I'm new to this forum. Hope this is ok. Ive had social anxiety/panic attacks and depression on and off since age 18. At the moment the panic attacks are manageable but I think I have GAD, i just feel on edge/anxious/worried all the time, always fearing the worst. It's overwhelming and interfering with my life massively. I have just ignored my kids for the last 3 hours whilst I sat in my room and cried, feel awful. My main fear is rejection and feeling left out and I have had a breakdown today as I found out some friends were getting together and didn't ask me. What I feel is completely out of proprotion, it feels utter betrayal as if my husband has had an affair, I feel so hurt, and I know deep down this is disproportionate. Im continually scared of rejection and finding out other people have got together without me, but I even feel hurt if I barely know them and so shouldn't have been invited. Do i sound crazy? Im not sure what is going on with me but I feel I need help. I'm sure this isn't normal. Should i see a doctor? I think Im going to. Any help gratefully received. Thank you.

[loopsyloo]

Hi . Im new to this site too and new to the feelings of GAD . So the last few months have been pretty emotional. I would definitely recommend seeing your doctor. I have just been put on the wating list for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy an given some sertraline tablets . Am only 2 days into them amd have got to admit am abit unsure about the side effects at the moment but I have been asured things will get better . You dont sound crazy although id agree its not a normal reaction for some one who doesn't suffer with depression/anxiety but it certainly isnt abnormal for someone who does . Keep you chin up.

[crissy10]

Hi Babsywood.

I'm very new here too? I have to say that I can totally relate to how you feel? I genuinely think you may have unresolved issues from the past perhaps?

Certainly not wishing to assume anything though, but you sound angry and if we have stuff from the past that is screaming to be dealt with and is left to simmer and simmer, often for years, (been there myself) we suffer by these buried feelings seeping into our present and every day lives. We are human and we have human frailties.

First point.....BE KIND TO YOURSELF, really.. be kind and sooth yourself..its totally okay to feel bloody angry, letdown, left out and unpopular, these feelings are real, they belong to you and are trying to tell you something???.

When I get like that, I go some where quiet and listen I go inside myself and just be quiet and still. Then I write and I mean I write...doesnt have to come to a conclusion or a huge fabulous answer to all my problems. I write it down in a book and that boo is the most important thing to me, because its not only got my hurt feeling inside it has the proof that I have given myself the precious TIME to acknowledge myself

Our bodies remember everything and through sheer experience, it eventually hands us a bill...we only need to put the brakes on and be still and our minds will guide us forward.

Really hope you feel better and just quietly know you will get through thisxxx

[Babsywood]

Wow, it's quite amazing to get some answers. Thank you so much both of you for replying. I've just spent the last 2 hours talking to my husband who is incredible but to get advice from those who have been there is invaluable. I think youre right, I am very angry, and I don't know why. Well, I could guess actually, problems in childhood, parents split up, depression, felt very very very left out at school, then had cancer diagnosed aged 25, then chronic fatigue disoder, then crippling panic attacks and depression...that might explain it. I really feel I need done help, I go in trying to pretend all is ok. On the outside it is, I'm 32, gorgeous husband, 2 lovely kids, great job as a teacher, I think that's what's so hard, that everything SHOULD be ok yet inside I feel sick with worry, fear, anxiety neatly the whole time. Your advice from you both was great and very honest and has really made me realise I need help. Thank you! Very scary posting thoughts for the world to see, but glad I have. I know I need help.xx

[Lions13]

Hi there, it sounds like you have coped with more in 32 years than some people deal with in a lifetime. And yet here you are...taking the time to try something new by coming along to this website and putting part of your story out there to be pulled apart and commented on.

We often spend our time imagining the worst case scenario of any possible situation and I give some of my clients a wee tool to use. It is made up of 5 columns.

The 1st column is the situation. This can be anything...it could be going to the shop by yourself...giving a presentation in front of a room full of strangers. Or, how about:

"Putting my 1st post on this website"

The 2nd column is headed Worst. In this column you are allowed to make mountains out of molehills. You can go really catastrophise and imagine the worst possible thing that could happen.

"Nobody will reply, in fact if they do reply they will be really nasty and make a fool of me"

The 3rd column is Best. Now you imagine how the situation would turn out if it were to be perfect.

"Everyone will be really nice and helpful, I'll get loads of replies all of which I will find really useful, and all my troubles will be gone in the morning"

The 4th column is the Most Likely. What, if you are being realistic, is the most likely outcome.

"I'll put myself out ther, and someone will acknowledge that I exist and I won't feel as alone"

The final column is the Actual column. After you have tried, if you decide to go ahead with your experiment, you can review what actually happened, and what outcome it was closest to.

The people I work with have found this really useful for opening up other possibilities when they are used to just catastrophising and always thinking the worst possible outcome will always be true for them.

I hope it helps and welcome to an incfredible website.

John

[leehow79]

Hi hun, welcome 2 this site. ur jst very sensitive as we most r on this site(hence the reason were here). sounds like u hav very little confidence. i do understand 2 a degree as i can take things personaly + sit + stew on things 4 days but i also hav a very different (strong) side were i think f.... u ur not worth it anyway. dnt beat urslf up about this we cnt hlp our emotions + we all do understand on ere as like i said we tend 2 be emotionaly sensitive people. go + tell ur GP they might refer u 4 a confidence buildin course or wotever they think. wiv kindest regards leeanne.x